With Arms Wide Open
by Joflower
Summary: They say that true love conquers all, but Akito refuses to let them be together. What will he do when he finds out that Tohru's having a baby? Can Kyo & Tohru really be together in the end? Kyoru, Kyo's POV (Takes place where the Anime ends)
1. Intro

**Intro**

_Looking into her eyes, I knew how much she cared. It frightened me at first. Why would she care so much about – about a monster like me? I was disgusting, hideous, _cursed_…. Why would she care? She couldn't even hug me like she could hug a normal boy! What made me so special?_

_She held my arm… my ugly, ugly arm in her soft, smooth hands, and wanted to go back to the house. She wouldn't look at me. I thought she was just saying that to make me feel better…. I thought she was just saying that so that she wouldn't have to face me anymore once we went back. She would pack up her things and go._

_I didn't want that. I didn't want to go back and give her up. I couldn't… I didn't want to face what would surely happen if we returned._

_I didn't want to lose her. Not after what she just saw about me…._

_I flailed my arm that she was holding. I wanted to get away. I had to escape. I couldn't go back. Not now. Not ever!_

_She didn't let go…. I was afraid that I'd hurt her. I was shocked. Surprised. Afraid. Why was she still holding onto me? why wasn't she running away?_

_She got onto her knees, still holding my arm in her hands. She wouldn't look at me. I knew she couldn't bring herself to do that. Her voice sounded hurt and tired. "I really… don't have that strength," she uttered._

Then let me go. Please… I don't want to hurt you anymore than I have….

_She slowly pulled herself up from the mud in the rain, holding onto my arm tighter. She began to tremble. She quivered all over like a frightened kitten. "I'm scared," she murmured. "That Kyo-kun is scary."_

No! No!

_I didn't want to hear that. I didn't want to hear how she really felt, what she really feared…_

_Me._

_Then she looked up at me. Her bright eyes bore into mine with such intensity, I couldn't tear myself away. "But… but…" her eyes filled with tears as she stared up at me. "From now on… together… together…" she lowered her eyes. Tears fell silently down her cheeks as she held me in her arms. "…I want to be with you."_

Me? Why? Why would you want to be with me? A monster…

_She still held on. She never let me go. It was as if… she had no intension of letting me go…. Could she really care that much? _

_She continued, her voice just as soft as the falling rain, "Eating meals with you. Studying with you. Be worried together. I want you to hear what I want. I'll take the bad with the good. That's why… I want to be with you!"_

_I… I couldn't believe what she was saying. She still wanted to be with me… even after she's seen the real me? Even after she admitted… that I frightened her?_

The bad… with the good?

_But when she uttered those words… those truthful, honest words… I couldn't turn away. I knew then, that I couldn't leave her. I knew then, just how much she really cared about me. even if she didn't like my ugly side, she still wanted to be with me._

_And…__ I loved her._

...

Akito wouldn't hear it. He never wanted her to stay with us in the first place. She didn't belong. More than that, he didn't want Yuki, her, or I, to be happy.

He would do anything to keep her from accomplishing this. But his plan backfired….

* * *

**_A/N:_**_ My first Fruits Basket fic! Yay! This chapter was mostly a flashback of episode 26 (?). The next chapter starts off where the anime series ends. I'll try and keep the characters as in character as possible, but keep in mind that the characters are growing and maturing because of upcoming situations (heh heh). So they will eventually become very out of character at some point. DON'T SUE ME! Oh ja, and I don't own Fruits Basket or the song "With Arms Wide Open" or any other song lyrics I make reference to. I hope you enjoyed it! (I've based the spelling of names from the official English Fruits Basket website and the English translated versions of the manga)_

**_2010 Update:_**

I own ALL of the manga now (all 23 volumes of it). Some things in the manga won't apply to this story because at the time I was writing this fic, I was only just starting my Furuba collection and therefore could not grasp everything that was supposed to happen in the original. That will become obvious when it happens in this story. JUST TELLING YOU ALL THIS NOW SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO POINT OUT SOMETHING OBVIOUS IN THE MANGA!


	2. The Risk

**Chapter 1**** – The Risk**

Under the red sky, I watched the sunset in pure tranquility. We had returned from the main house today. Tohru went to see Akito. I'm guessing everything went okay in there because she's still smiling, but I can't help but wonder what really happened. What did they talk about? Was Akito okay with it? Was she allowed to stay with us for as long as she wanted? Did he hurt her? Did he threaten her? Did they talk about me?

So many questions swirled around my mind, and not one could be answered…

"Kyo-kun!"

"Oi!" I jumped back from surprise.

She looked over to me sitting on the roof from the top of her ladder. Her big eyes regarded me with concern. Why did she always have to sneak up on me like that?

"Aren't you hungry, Kyo-kun?" she asked from the roof's edge.

I gazed at her, absorbed in her round eyes that once cried for me. An image of her fluttered in my mind like the wings of a dove…

_She held my arm gently in her arms as she cried silent tears that fell like raindrops down her cheeks. She was crying and I didn't know why…. I didn't want to see her cry, but she was crying helplessly. "…I want to be with you. Eating meals with you. Studying with you. Be worried together…"_

_It seemed too good to be true…._

I found myself blushing, and tore my eyes away from hers. How could she always say the things I wanted to hear? How did she seem to know exactly how I was feeling, when I didn't even know myself? Why did she cry for me? Why did she care?

I shut my eyes tightly, taking a deep breath to pose the question. I couldn't look at her… I might chicken out or get tongue-tied. "Tohru…" I muttered. Too late, my mind went completely blank.

"Hai?" she asked. She quietly made her way to me and sat down next to me. I could smell her delicate scent lingering in the air around her. I opened my eyes.

Her brown hair shimmered in the golden light of the setting sun. Her eyes sparkled like radiant stars waiting to shoot across the sky on a clear night where the moon was full and the fireflies danced. She was beautiful.

I lowered my head so that my hair was covering my eyes and my burning cheeks. "Did you mean… all those things you said the other day?"

She blinked as she watched me intently.

"Did you… did you really want to be with me?" I questioned softly. I looked into her eyes, searching for a reaction, a sign, a thread of hope that everything she said was true.

A blush crept to her cheeks and she looked away with embarrassment.

_It's true…_

"K-Kyo-kun is being so serious! I-I _do_ like Kyo-kun…" she stuttered bashfully.

I touched her cheek adoringly with the palm of my hand and turned her blushing face to gaze at mine. Her eyes were wild with fright and yet… anticipation. Her chest rose hastily in short, quick breaths as I drew her closer to me.

"B-But, what about Akito-" she stammered, her lips trembled as her eyes searched mine.

"Forget about him," I whispered with desire. My heart pounded in my chest. I wanted so badly to touch her lips even if it was just this one time, this one precious moment together. "I'll protect you. I promise."

Her lips met mine and I kissed her softly. My heart burst with happiness. It was so gentle, magical…. Why had I waited so long to finally do this, to finally kiss her? Why did I not tell her how I really felt sooner? She quivered as I pulled away, my lips tingling from her touch, her eyes brimming with tears. My eyes searched hers with concern.

_Why are you crying, Tohru?_

"K-Kyo…"

"Don't cry, Tohru," I said softly, looking deep into her caring eyes. "I won't let anything bad happen to you."

_I promise._

I embraced her, and in that short moment of warmth, I felt love for the first time. She didn't expect that, just like she didn't expect me to hug her that fateful day at the pond. My cat eyes looked up at her from her lap. She smiled as she picked me up and placed me on her shoulder. I snuggled into the curve of her smooth neck as she held me in her arms. Such tenderness I have never felt before…. I could hear and feel her heartbeat against me. I breathed in her elegant scent and cherished this moment.

_So this is how it feels…_

In the glowing light of the sunset, I told her, "I love you" in her ear. And I meant it.

…

"So, what did you two do up there?" greeted Shigure with a grin when we came down from the roof. He was sitting down at the table reading a newspaper. "You certainly took your time. It must have been at least half an hour."

Tohru reddened. "A-Ano…"

I grasped her hand in mine and squeezed it encouragingly. She looked up at me, her eyes wide and her cheeks rosy. She saw that I was finally making a stand for her. I would speak up and say what was on my mind rather than just sitting back and doing nothing about the situation. I was the one who had to speak up and take care of her. Things had to be said, and I was the one who had to say them. "We need to see Akito," I announced confidently.

Shigure raised an eyebrow.

I saw Yuki standing in the doorway through the corner of my eye. He heard and saw everything. I didn't care if that damn rat heard and saw it, the sooner he saw how much I loved her and how she felt about me, the better. It was time for his dream world to come to an end.

_Tohru chose me, kuso nezumi,_ I thought with a small grin of triumph.

"I see…" said Shigure looking intently at me, seriously for once.

Yuki lowered his eyes to the ground and disappeared out of view.

"Shall I call Ha-san and tell-"

"No," I interrupted suddenly. "I'll call him."

Tohru's gaze on me never faltered, as did Shigure's. This was a change that they have not seen in me. I was taking control for once. I wanted to. I wanted to prove to everyone that I could make good decisions and take care of Tohru. I could do it and I would do a better job than that damn rat ever could. I had to do it for her. I loved her.

Shigure blinked absentmindedly, but nodded in agreement.

I gave Tohru's hand a final squeeze in reassurance and left the room. I walked down the slightly darkened hall in silence and dialed Hatori's phone number to the main house. I waited until Hatori picked up the phone. "Moshi moshi?"

"Hatori, Tohru and I need to see Akito," I said, getting right down to business.

"Kyo?"

"Yeah, Tohru and I want to see Akito," I repeated. "Would tomorrow be okay?"

There was a moment of silence. I waited impatiently. What was he doing? Was he going to see if Akito was in a good mood to see us? He already saw us today; would that be pushing it too soon?

"Kyo… why do you want to see Akito?"

_Were you just sitting on the other line, just to say that? Gah!_

I brushed my hand through my orange hair uncomfortably. "We… we want to talk to him about… about…"

"Kyo…" he sighed with a hint of concern, "are you aware of what you're risking?"

I swallowed. I didn't want to think about what horrible things could happen. But… I really wanted to try and… and make things work so that Tohru and I could be together.

_'From now on… together… together… I want to be with you.'_

That's what she wanted, to be together. She had said that. I had to do something that might help us be together… I had to…

"Yeah," I replied. "Yeah, I know what we're risking."

"… Alright. I'll see you tomorrow."

I sighed with relief. "Thanks Hatori."

_I hope I'm doing the right thing…_


	3. Facing Akito

_**A/N: **This was originally written back in June 2004 before I got my hands on all the manga... so Kyo's memories here will differ from the manga. Just a warning._

**Chapter 2**** – Facing Akito**

My hands began to shake when I put the phone down in its cradle. My mind began to race with thoughts, spinning around and around feverishly.

_Am I doing the right thing? Will Tohru be okay? What if this doesn't work? What if something bad happens? He won't hurt her, will he? What if he does? What will happen to Tohru? No, no – he mustn't! But he will! I know he will! No! No, Tohru! What have I done?_

I covered my face in my hand. My mind was suddenly flooded with a vague memory from long ago…

.

_"I can't take it anymore! I can't even look at him! All I see is-is that…_

_"That _THING_!"_

_I watch her, hidden behind the door as she breaks down in sobs. My eyes become hot and cloudy as I stare helplessly into the darkened room._

_"I can't take it! It's not human! It's not! _It's not_!"_

_Her cries echo off the walls. Her shrill screams stab me in the chest._

'It's not human! It's not!'

_I find I cannot breathe. My chest is tight and my throat closes up. My heavy heart pounds loudly in my chest._

'It's not!'

_I cover my mouth to keep myself from crying out in pain. Why does this nightmare hurt so much?_

'I can't even look at him!'

_When her sobs subsided after a minute, a cold, monotoned voice answers somewhere, hidden in the darkness. "Would you like some help?" That voice… "I can help you if you want…"_

_._

"Dammit," I muttered under my breath, trying to blink away the memory that haunted me still.

"What do you think you're doing, _baka__ neko_?" demanded an annoying voice behind me. I opened my eyes widely, my hand still covering my face. "Are you _trying_ to kill her?"

_No… no, I would never…_

I clenched my fist angrily. Why did that _kuso__ nezumi_ always think I was trying to cause trouble? "Shut up!" I yelled, whirling around and driving my knuckles deep into that damn rat's cheek.

Yuki stumbled back, glaring at me. He planted his feet firmly on the ground and positioned himself to block off my next attack. But I wasn't going to attack again. At least… not with my fist. I ignored the pain in the back of my hand and stared him down.

"What would you possibly know?" I declared icily. "You don't know how much I care about her. You don't know what it feels like to see her everyday, wanting to hold her and tell her how you feel. You don't know what that feels like. I _am_ trying to solve the problem. I want a solution so that I can hold her and tell her everyday how I feel. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to find the solution. You wouldn't dare because you're too wrapped up in yourself to notice anyone else and you let your own fear run your life!

"I _am_ afraid! Of course I'm afraid! I'm risking _everything_ to try and accomplish _something_ I might never get to feel! I'd rather die than live in constant fear and darkness…."

I lowered my fists and walked out of the hallway with Yuki staring in astonishment after me.

…

I stared up at the front gates of the Sohma Estate, fighting to swallow down the lump in my throat. Clouds began to cover the sky in thick, rolling sheets of grey. I could taste rain in my mouth and smell it in the air. It was going to storm tonight. Of all days to go see Akito, I just had to pick today!

"K-Kyo-kun… I'm scared," Tohru whimpered next to me. She shivered as a cool, wet breeze blew through the stillness.

I knew she didn't shiver from being cold, she shivered from fright. She didn't know what Akito was going to do exactly and neither did I. I was just hoping that whatever happened inside those walls wouldn't come crashing down on top of us. I don't know what I'd do if something bad should ever happen to her. I don't know if I could live with myself if I let it…

My hand touched her soft cheek and I turned her so that she was facing me. Her sparkling eyes gazed up in mine, searching for comfort. I stroked her blushing cheek gently with my thumb. I licked my lips, wanting to caress hers. I wanted to take her into my arms so badly.

"Tohru…. I-I know I can't promise you that whatever happens in there w-will lift the curse, but…"

Her eyes were so beautiful. I couldn't pull away. Instead, I found myself drawing closer to her. My other hand reached up and brushed away a strand of her long brown hair behind her ear.

"I will take care of you, Tohru…" My voice caught in my throat.

_What if it doesn't work? What if I lose her forever? I can't let that happen!_

"I promise I won't let anything bad happen to you…" Her lips were only inches away. My heart thundered deep within my chest. "I'll… protect… you…."

"Kyo. Tohru."

Our lips brushed for a split second, but we both jumped back, startled by the sudden interruption. Our faces glowed bright red in embarrassment in the grey light.

Hatori stood in front of the gates, his right hand holding the door ajar to the Sohma Estate. He watched us closely with his one good eye, his face completely expressionless.

It took me a few moments to regain my composure, while Tohru continued blushing next to me, her eyes admiring the gravel beneath her feet. "Konnichiwa, Hatori-san," she greeted politely.

I noticed Hatori's face soften a bit after Tohru spoke. Just a little though…

I swallowed. _I suppose Tohru reminds him of Kana._ I didn't know much about Kana, but I did know that Kana and Hatori were in love and that when Akito hurt Hatori's eye, Kana blamed herself. She was so overcome with guilt that Hatori had to erase her memories of them. He couldn't stand seeing her unhappy and suffering, even if that would cost him his happiness.

_But Tohru isn't Kana. Tohru is… Tohru. Sweet, a little naïve, but wise none-the-less. Not to mention that she is beautiful, kind, caring, understanding, soft and a damn great kisser!_

_…Stop grinning you moron! _I wiped the smile forming on my face, hoping that Hatori didn't see it. He didn't.

"Come inside before it rains," Hatori announced, turning around and entering the Sohma Estate.

I gathered Tohru's damp hand into mine and flashed her an encouraging smile. A wavering smile appeared on her face and together we followed Hatori into the Estate to face the man whose words were law to the Sohma family.

…

_He holds an object out to her. She gapes at it, her eyes mesmerized. She reaches for it, her slender fingers trembling with fear. She hesitates, pulling her hand back from it. She wants to do it… but she is afraid. The power in the object is stronger than she could imagine…_

_I watch her in terror._ Mom…

_"You can do it…" encourages the cold voice surrounded by darkness._

Don't… please…_ I try to reach out to her, my black and white beads flashing in the dim light, but I cannot reach her._

_The woman stares at him in horror, her lips trembling. She can… she knows she can… but does she really want to? Is it really that simple?_

Don't leave me… you said you'd never leave me…

_"You know you want to…" There is a hollow laugh. A laugh so cruel and heartless it can send shivers up a serial killer's spine. "Then you won't have to face that monstrosity of a son ever again."_

You love me, Mom…. You tell me all the time…. I'm special…_ I'm crying. I'm crying and I cannot stop._

I'm special…

_The woman slowly reaches over and takes the knife he holds out to her…_

I love you, Mom….

.

We waited in silence in the room where all nightmares started. The room was empty of any furniture or mats to sit on. Tohru and I sat on the bare floorboards, side by side, that were cold to the touch. The tiny purple flower arrangement sitting about six feet in front of us was starting to wilt from lack of sunlight. No lights were on and the only source of lighting was pouring through the open sliding door where Akito was staring off in thought. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end from the tension.

_So this… is what it must have felt like to be in here yesterday…_

My eyes drifted over to Akito standing in the doorway of the sliding door, his face hidden in the darkness that engulfed us. He was dressed in a magenta yukata with purple trimmings that he kept open without the use of an obi over a plain white hadajuban; his usual attire. I wondered what he was thinking, what was on his mind. Akito was as unpredictable as a typhoon – no one knew where, when or how hard he would strike. I shifted my weight on my knees in nervousness. Hatori did the same thing behind Tohru and me.

"What brings the cat… into my lair?"

My palms began to sweat and the hair on my arms rose up on end at the sound of his voice. His voice was the same as it was twelve years ago; as hard as stone and just as ruthless. The heaviness of the air pressed down upon me as fear surged through my blood. I gathered as much air as I could into my lungs. "We would like your help, Tohru and I," I announced.

Akito ran a weak finger nail against the wooden doorframe. His posture showed that he was not in the best health, but he never was to begin with. He didn't turn around to face us just yet. He just stared out at the darkening mid-afternoon sky. He let the cool wind blow into the room and settle sinisterly on our shoulders inside. "I see… and what do you want from me?" he asked. "I already saw Tohru yesterday, so it better be important."

My eyes darted around the room feverously. _What should I say? If I tell him something stupid, he might hurt Tohru…_.

Tohru, sensing my hesitation spoke up, "We were hoping you could help us… to cure the curse."

I clamped my eyes tightly shut in fear and let my head sink to the ground. _Well, to put it bluntly, yeah, we want you to cure me so that we can be together. Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say Tohru…._

Behind us, Hatori lowered his eyes to the ground, his shoulders slumped.

I heard Akito turn and slowly walk toward us, dragging his feet as if they were laden with weights. His feet touched the ground in discordant softness. I opened my eyes, but could not bring myself to raise my head. Not just yet…. Akito dragged past me and stopped in front of Tohru. I watched him from the corner of my eyes apprehensively. I couldn't see Tohru's face… He leaned down and… and held her chin in his fingers, tilting her head up to look at him directly in the eye.

"But Tohru…" he whispered, "we already talked about this… didn't we?"

My head shot up and I stared at Akito with wide eyes. He was grinning down on Tohru, her face stricken. Fright reflected in her large eyes.

"I told you I would not help you to be happy in the Sohma family. I told you that you should leave." He gripped her chin hardly and she cried out. "I told you that you would suffer if you stayed!"

Horrified, I reached up to try and stop him, but he threw Tohru to the ground.

"But you came back! Now you will pay!" he shouted at her, infuriated.

He lifted his hand above his head to bring it down and hit her, but I grabbed it before it started its descent. I glared at him with burning eyes of hatred. "If you lay one more hand on her, I _will_ break it off," I threatened, menacingly.

Akito returned the glare with cold dryness. "And if you defy me, I _will_ kill you."

_You don't have the guts…_

"No…" Tohru whimpered from the ground. She pulled herself up, her eyes staring up at Akito and me. "No… violence will not solve this. Akito-san bears the full weight of the curse… he must also know the cure, right? Where there is darkness, there is also light?"

_T-Tohru…_

Looking into her eyes gave me hope. I released Akito, who readjusted his yukata on his shoulders. His hardened exterior vanished as quickly as his fury appeared. "You are correct, Tohru-san," he said, more gently than normal.

My eyes clouded at the courteousness he suddenly displayed to Tohru. I readied myself for his next attack, sure that it would come soon. I turned my attention to Tohru on the ground, my defenses still up. I became worried about her condition. Did he hurt her? Was she okay? I stepped away from Akito and helped Tohru sit up straighter on the ground at Akito's feet. Her chin was red with finger marks and little indents of nails just puncturing the outer layer of skin, but not going deep enough to draw blood. I felt Akito's eyes fixed on me. I shivered, but ignored the foreboding feeling growing inside of my stomach.

"I do know the cure for the curse…"

I blinked in surprise. Could what Akito just said be true? Could he really know the cure? In the corner of my eye, I see Hatori staring at Akito in shock. There's some other emotion there… but I cannot make it out…. The pressure pushing down on my back was lifted as Akito's eyes left me. I watched Tohru's eyes widen, as if a miracle happened. "Then help us, Akito-san," she said gently. On her knees, she pressed her forehead to the ground in respectful begging. "I will be forever in your debt!"

_Tohru – no! _I stared at Tohru in horror. _What did she do? Why did she do it? In his debt? Are you insane!?_ I swerved my head swiftly to stare at Akito, who smirked, with eyes planted solely on Tohru. _No!_

"Very well, Tohru-san," he replied. His cold eyes looked her over – all over. My stomach turned in both rage and dread. "I will help you."

Tohru sat up, her eyes shining in grateful admiration as she watched Akito standing above us. "Arigatou gozaimasu, Akito-san!"

Akito's eyes swiveled to me for a quick moment then back at Tohru. My fists clenched at my sides. "However…" he murmured, speaking to Tohru in spite of me, "it takes some time to perform the cure. You will have to stay the night. _Only you_."

Tohru gasped while I was silently fuming. Akito's sharp eyes fell on me. "I have no need for the cat," he said. "Only you, Tohru-san."

She blinked for a few seconds, unsure of what to say.

_Don't say it! Don't agree!_ I tried to say, but I could only flex my jaw – no sound would come out. I felt completely and totally helpless! Everything was just spinning out of control… and Akito was winning.

She lowered her head, her round orbs falling to the ground. "Hai…"

I found my voice now. "Nani!" I cried out, furiously. I grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at me. She stared at me in bewilderment. "You can't stay here! Not with him! I won't let you!"

"Kyo…" she whispered, saddened, "I have no choice. It's the only way…"

My hard copper eyes softened, pleading with her not to stay. I cupped her cheek in my hand, my beads sitting forbiddingly on my wrist. _This might be the last time I get to touch you…._ _I might never get to see you again…_

"I'll be okay," she whimpered. She tried to reassure me by smiling, but even her smile wavered in fear. "And when it's all done… we can finally be together."

_Tohru… so strong… sacrificing herself… for us…._

_Why…?_

"You better go home now, Kyo…" declared Akito, his eyes flashing with cold-blooded amusement, "before I change my mind…"

I stood up, wiped the fear from my eyes and glared menacingly back at Akito one last time before I stormed out of the room. _Be careful for the time being, Tohru. I will see you sooner than you'll know it…_


	4. Hatori’s Secret

**Chapter 3**** – Hatori's Secret**

Hatori didn't arrive into his living room until well after sunset. The storm continued to brew outside and was ready to let loose at any moment. I didn't even have the strength to stand up when he entered. I just lied on my side on the ground and only had enough energy to lift my head to look up at him. He didn't appear surprised to find me in his dark room after Akito 'sent me home'. Like I'd really leave Tohru here alone with that creep! I'd have to be totally out of my mind and callous to do such a thing!

I watched him set his medical bag down on the table. His back was to me, so I was unable to see any emotions he might be showing. Although, seeing any kind of emotion emerging onto Hatori's face was a rarity of its own, there was still hope that you might catch a glimpse of something. I expected him to turn around and lecture me, but instead he kept his back to me and said coolly, "You know you're not supposed to be here."

My ears pricked up as thunder rumbled quietly off in the distance. Maybe I was wrong… maybe he was going to chew me out…. But I didn't turn my attention away from him. Now was not the time to ignore him. Hatori took his white lab coat off and hung it on the back of the chair as lightning flashed across the sky from far away. I took a somewhat steady breath; my eyes fell off of him and onto the floor around me. "You know I won't leave for Shigure's with Tohru here… alone with _him…_" I muttered, preparing myself for a good, long scolding.

Hatori's back was still facing me. He just stood there thinking, possibly remembering a memory from long ago. I watched him in silence for a few minutes, listening to the storm make its way closer and closer to the Sohma Estate. Within moments, it will be upon us. It was so tense there in Hatori's room. The wind rattled the windows, darkness tried to claw its way in, vengeful demons demanded to enter – it sent shivers up my spine.

"Kyo…"

My ears perked forward and my sharp eyes swept over Hatori standing in the darkness before me once more. He sounded somewhat distant and saddened; remorseful, yet determined and confident all at the same time. I knew he was about to say something very important – perhaps shocking. I listened intently to what he had to say.

"You shouldn't have brought Tohru-kun here to see Akito."

I stared at his back dumbly, willing him to turn around and look me in the eye. "What do you mean?"

He seemed edgy. Seeing Hatori nervous made you nervous. The air felt like dead weight against my chest, pressing me down and making it difficult to breathe. "He doesn't know the cure… Akito," he murmured. He covered his left eye with his hand. "You basically carried Tohru-kun right into his trap by letting him be alone with her."

I couldn't breathe. Hatori couldn't be right – he couldn't! I found myself clenching my fists. I could feel the rage beginning to boil inside me. "Dammit…" I growled deep in my throat.

_I knew this was a mistake…. I knew I shouldn't have brought her here…. Why was I so stupid? What was I thinking? That damn Yuki was right!_

[_"Are you _trying_ to kill her?"_]

_Shut up, kuso nezumi! Just shut up! You're not always right! You can't be!_

This time, I knew he was though and instead of listening, I brought her here. I discovered that my eyes were starting to mist over. I fought back the tears. I would not allow myself to cry.

_Baka… baka neko!_

"Why…? Why didn't I think this through?" I mumbled, my lips trembling. My hair fell over my eyes. My voice sounded like it was on the verge of tears. "Why did I have to act so soon?"

_I didn't even get to spend enough time with her before suddenly rushing over here…. I could have left it for a few days, weeks, months, and just enjoyed the time we had together knowing that we both loved each other. Now… I could lose her before we could even be together…_

I told myself that I wouldn't cry. I told myself I wouldn't let Hatori see me hurting like this. But I could no longer hold it back. I felt the tears fall down my hot cheeks. I covered my face in my hands.

_What have I done!?_

Hatori watched me, sympathy written all over his face. He seemed hesitant, but knew he should say it. He knew he should say what was on his mind, or else he'd regret it for the rest of his life. He lowered his eyes to the ground so that his own face was hidden from view by his black hair. "Kyo…" he began. He paused, seemingly overcome with a sudden emotion he had been fighting for years. "There's something that I should tell you that no one knows about…"

I raised my head, staring up at him from the ground as he moved to my side. His eyes were remorseful. He looked down at me, swallowing the lump in his throat as he continued in a gentle voice…

"I… I know the cure for the curse."

_**A/N**: (2010) Keep in mind here, this chapter was written back in 2004 before I got my hands on all the manga..._


	5. Pain In Darkness

**_A/N_**_: Since the anime (or the first 3 volumes of the manga-that's how far I've read) doesn't say what happened to Kyo's parents, I'm creating their own fate. I don't know how old Kyo was at the time either, so I decided to make him about five years old. This chapter is entirely in Tohru's point of view because I know you all want to know what's going to happen to her with Akito…. This is also taking place at the same time as the chapter before this. So here it is! Enjoy! (2004 posting)_

**Chapter 4 – Pain In Darkness**

I've been sitting in a room slowly getting darker and darker as the hours passed. The storm clouds brewed around, rolling in thicker and heavier every moment. My only source of comfort was my companion, a small bird, who watched me closely without saying a peep. He perched on a small branch of a two foot tall bonsai tree sitting on top of a two foot tall stand. The stand was carved out of imported oak wood with intricate designs of vines, leaves and blossoming flower buds. The tree sat in the corner of the room, at the head of the bed. There were three other similar trees in the remaining three dark corners of the room. Above the bed where I sat, was a three foot wide window overlooking a small garden in pitch blackness. The wooden floorboards only creaked around the edge of the bed, whereas everywhere else in the room seemed to be relatively quiet. Opposite the wall with the window was the door, which was closed and locked. The walls were bare of any picture frames.

I watched the bird as he watched me. I was nervous; perhaps he could sense it because he looked at me with his beady little eyes and his head slightly tilted. I found myself talking to him in hopes to easing my edginess.

"I'm scared. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know what he's going to do. Akito-san… he's not like everyone else. I can't get through to him. There's just… a wall… he won't let me help him…" I covered my face in my hands. "I don't think I'm strong enough!" I took a deep breath and shakily released it. "He scares me… I don't know if… if he's really going to help us…"

I pulled my hands down from my face and looked up at the ceiling. "Kyo… Kyo-kun and I… we want to be together…" A grin found its way spreading across my face. "It's funny in a way… I've always been a fan of the year of the cat… I just never thought I'd get to meet him. And now that I have…" A blush crept to my cheeks. "He's so kind and gentle…. I remember when I first met him, he was always angry and that was the only emotion he'd show to others. Then, when I told him I liked the cat from the Juunishi… I saw him blush… and I saw that… deep down… he was really a sweet guy, just misunderstood. And now…" I giggled helplessly, "now, we love each other…"

The bird's gaze never left me and it suddenly dawned on me how pathetic the scene must look; me talking to a bird that had no idea what was being said. Somehow, it just felt as though he could understand me and listened intently to everything I had to say.

I smiled at the bird with a sweatdrop. "But I have to admit, it feels weird confiding in a bird!"

Suddenly, the door opened. I cried out in surprise and jumped back against the bed's wall. I breathed heavily as the dark, unmistakable figure entered the room.

_Akito-san…_

He walked to the foot of my bed, the floorboards creaking as he sat down on it. I crawled back, as far away from him as I could. The headboard was the only thing stopping me from going further – and falling off the bed.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting so long, Tohru-san," he said gently. "I had certain… matters… I had to attend to…"

_'…matters…'?_

I stared at him in fear. What was he talking about? What did he do that took him so long? What is he going to do to me? It was nerve-racking and I wanted to get away from him – as far away from him as I possibly could.

_["You can't trust Akito…"]_

_Hai__… demo… how else can I help us? He's the only person who knows the cure. Only he can help us…. I just want us to be together…._

I couldn't see him very well in the darkness and that alone made me tremendously nervous. I couldn't see his face, to know how he was feeling, to know what he was thinking. I didn't like it – this feeling of blindness.

"Come here," he said softly, yet eerily, patting the space on the bed next to him. "I want to show you something before we get started."

I stared at him, my eyes wide with fear. What did he want to show me? I was afraid to get near him. But if I disobeyed, if I refused to get near him, he might hurt me and change his mind in helping us. I had to obey. I had to sit next to him. This was my only chance…. I crawled to his side submissively, my eyes lowered. Instead of throwing my legs over the side of the bed and sitting the same way Akito was, I remained somewhat distant and sat on my legs with my knees pointing toward Akito.

He reached up and held my chin gently in his fingertips. "Gomen nasai, Tohru-san… for my rude behaviour today. I wasn't feeling like myself."

_Like… yourself?_

I wanted him to release my chin. I found my cheeks blushing as he leaned closer. The hairs on the back of my neck and arms stood up on end.

_What are you going to do?_

Thankfully, he freed my chin and let his fingertips gently trail up my cheek. Shivering, I let him place his hand over my eyes.

"Do not be frightened, Tohru-san," he whispered, "my gift is like Hatori's, only different. I just want to show you something…"

Hastily, I took a deep breath before my mind blanked out and was replaced by images that could only be described as nightmarish…

…

_At first there was only darkness, nothing but a black curtain covering the drama. Then a voice far off in the distance. It was a voice like no other and belonged solely to Akito. It rang throughout my head._

'You foolish girl! Did you actually think I'd help _you_? _You_ and everyone _you_ care about?' _There was mechanical laughter throughout the empty space._

_I felt my high-spirits drain away into nothingness._ 'N-Nani…?'

'You _all_ think alike.'

_The darkness was suddenly lifted and I found myself staring into blinding sunlight overlooking the Sohma Estate. I tried to cover my eyes from the burning light, but I couldn't move my arm. I couldn't move any of my limbs! It was as if… as if _I_ wasn't _me_ anymore…_

_-What do you want, Boy?-_

_The thought swirled around my head… yet it wasn't my thought. It sounded like…_

_"Akito… is it okay… to like someone?"_

My_ eye twitched… but it wasn't my eye. It was Akito's. I was in his body, seeing everything through his eyes. I moved only as he moved like I was his shadow, twisted to follow his every movement. His thoughts swirled around inside the shared mind and his words came out of his mouth. I was nothing, in the body of a memory._

_And the memory was Akito's._

My_ calmness boiled into fury in a split second. I found myself spinning around, walking over to a young boy and staring down at the kneeling Hiro on the ground._

_I gasped but my gasp merely echoed around my mind as I heard mechanical laughter from the invisible Akito. He knew he had complete control over everything. He knew I was helpless in his mind and memory. I could feel his eyes on me, smirking with the satisfaction of seeing me squirm._

I_ glared down into Hiro's eyes and his expression turned from one of worry to one of fear. Enraged, _I_ grabbed his throat and lifted him up to my face to stare him directly in the eye. Hiro gasped, squirming in fear in my grasp._

_"Who is it!?" _I_ demanded angrily in a voice that was without a doubt, Akito's. "An Outsider!? If she's an Outsider I'll-"_

_"No, no!" cried Hiro, struggling to free himself from Akito. "She's a Sohma! Kisa Sohma!"_

_Hiro__ instantly regretted coming as a grin spread across my face. _I_ dropped the boy to the ground with a thud and ordered him out of my sight._

'What is this? What's going on_?' I demanded._

_There was a moment of vacant blackness as I questioned. Akito just laughed. I couldn't see him, but I could feel his presence around me. I felt cold and afraid in a nonexistent body, surrounded by complete darkness. '_I'm showing you my memories of everyone who has come to me for help, for guidance or for permission,_' he answered callously, his voice echoing softly around me._

'Why? Why are you showing me this?_' I asked, wanting out of his memory-control game._

_I felt him grinning in the emptiness surrounding me. '_Because I can,' _he replied simply. '_Hatori can suppress memories, while _I_ can give them.'

_Before I could press him further, I was in another memory, marching swiftly down a dark hallway with my arms swinging at my sides. The hall was a full two arms length wide with no pictures on the walls and no lamps to lighten the darkness. I saw them walking towards me… the happy boy and girl… laughing…_

_-I hate laughter!-_

_They're smiling…_

_-I hate smiles!-_

_They're happy together…_

_-Never…-_

'No…' _I said to Akito. _'No… what are you going to do?'

_Suddenly,_ I_ smacked the little girl, Kisa, hard and she slammed into the wall, crumpling to the ground in a small, defenseless ball. Hiro just stood back, staring in horror._

'Kisa-san!'_ I wanted to run to her side. I wanted to help her… but I was useless in a body that didn't care about her._

_-You're never allowed to be happy!-_

_Blackness engulfed me and the scene vanished. I felt my soul crying. _'How could you do that!? They were just children!'

_My invisible cheek tingled, as if someone was stroking it with obvious intensions. I heard myself breathing hard with fear. His voice whispered as if he was speaking right into my ear, _'No one in the Juunishi has the right to be happy. No one.'

'Why…?' w_as all I could mutter as another memory was thrown at me._

_I was back in that Room again. I began to dread this room more and more. _I_ was sitting on a low table, staring at the vase of flowers next to me. _I_ looked to the corner of my left eye and inwardly, I gasped, but no sound escaped my mouth again. There sat Hatori on the ground and behind him…_

'K-Kana-san…?'

_She looked nervous, unaware of the sudden danger she might be in… or rather, Hatori. Her shoulder length brown hair framed her face as she watched me with her deep, uncertain eyes._

_"We're thinking of getting married," stated Hatori._

I_ suddenly became so mad. _I_ couldn't control myself. The anger was over-powering. _I_ swung around, knocking the vase on the nightstand directly into Hatori's face. The vase flew away to my left with such brute force and crashed to the ground._

_"No! I cannot allow this marriage!" _I_ shouted. "I won't allow it!"_

_Hatori gasped and fell forward. He clasped his left eye and clenched his fist in pain on the ground as blood spilled around him. Kana watched in horror, her eyes wide with shock and fear. She had problems breathing and sat there gasping. The fallen flower petals and leaves that were spread out on the ground moaned as _I_ stepped on them. _I _walked toward Hatori, concerned for the first time._

_-Hatori… no… what happened to you?-_

_I gasped as I watched the scene helplessly in Akito's mind. _'This was how it happened…'

_"Hatori, what's wrong?" _I_ asked with worry. _I_ crouched down in front of him, trying to put my hands on him. _I_ wanted to help him. _I_ wanted to know how _I_ could help him. "Hatori…"_

_-Did I… NO! NO I DIDN'T!-_

I_ stood up and backed away from Hatori, pointing hardly at Kana with my index finger. "It's your fault!" _I_ accused her. My finger shook. "If Hatori's eye goes blind…! It's your fault!"_

'It was you! It was your fault!'_ I shouted in my mind. I shouted at Akito with pure intensity and horror. _'How could you…?'

_Kana covered her mouth with her hands. She stared in horror as Hatori was bent over in pain. She didn't know what to do…. She looked up at me with wide, fearful eyes._

_"It's your fault!"_

_The door flew open. "Akito!" exclaimed Shigure. He took one look at Hatori; bent down on the ground, his face buried in his hands, blood dripping from his fingertips – and stepped back in horror. "Hatori!"_

I_ glared at Kana with hatred. _

_-She did this to Hatori! It's her fault!-_

'No!'_ I cried._

_"Can you get rid of the curse on the Sohma Family?! Can you?!" _I_ demanded venomously, stepping toward her._

_Shigure ran in, shouting, "Kana-chan, hurry! Help Hatori…" He grabbed me from behind to keep me from lunging at her. _

_"Let me go!" _I_ declared. _I_ tried to pull myself free from him, my claw-like hand reaching for her, reaching to get her. "I said let me go!"_

_-She did this! She hurt Hatori!-_

'No! It was you!' _I cried._ 'It was you! It wasn't Kana-san's fault! She didn't do anything wrong! You did this!'

_"Hold on a second! Calm down…" Shigure tightened his hold on me as _I_ almost slipped through his arms. "Stop!"_

I_ tried to shake myself free of Shigure's grasp, to no success. _I_ glared down at Kana as she watched Hatori with wide eyes. "Why would…" _I_ exploded with absolute rage. "Why would I give him to you!? I don't need you! You can't even break the curse! You're useless! I don't need you! I don't! I don't!" _I_ roared, my fists shaking, my mind screaming._

_If I had ears, I would have covered them with my hands. I couldn't hear everything Akito was thinking – it was too much at once and his fury consumed every part of his being. I was hurting from an invisible pain deep inside that I couldn't fix._

_Hatori turned to Kana for help. He saw the fear in her eyes, the guilt washing over her like pouring rain from a storm too powerful for her to control or avoid._

_Regret. He regretted bringing her here. Her horrified face was all the proof he needed. Still, he crawled over to her, still clutching his wounded eye in his hand._

_"If Hatori goes blind, it's your fault!"_ I_ screamed from Shigure's arms. "It's your fault!"_

_She reached for Hatori with shaking hands. She wanted to touch him, to help him, but she was afraid that she might only hurt him further. She didn't know what to do._

_"It's your fault!"_

_I stopped watching. If I could turn away, I did. I couldn't watch anymore. I couldn't stand the unforgivable pain thrust onto Kana and Hatori and the screaming of Akito's words and thoughts over and over in my head. Everything he said sank deep into the pit of my stomach and it felt as if it was slowly being filled with rocks. Each word was a rock being thrown into the pond of my stomach, one at a time…._

_"It's your fault!"_

_She covered her face with her hands and cried._

_She didn't know what to do._

_"IT'S YOUR FAULT…!"_

I_ watched in grim satisfaction as my words sank into her head, believing them and blaming herself. She couldn't look at Hatori anymore. She truly began to believe that everything was her fault._

_The painful memory ended and I now found myself in a slightly darker room than the previous one. There must have been a cloudy sunset outside as purple light filtered into the room. My yukata was sliding down my shoulders again, but _I_ made no effort to fix it. Hatori, wearing an eye patch over his left eye, watched me sullenly._

_"Your memory suppression skills would be helpful now, wouldn't they? Just erase her memories. You had no problem with the _others," I_ said._

I_ watched Hatori closely to see how he would respond. His eyes were saddened as he knew _I_ was right. He didn't say anything. How could he?_

_"What's hurting her right now are her memories of _you_. Her _love_ for you." _I_ bent down next to his injured eye, whispering, "Isn't it your final duty to _free_ her from that pain?" My right hand reached for his tie hanging from his neck and stroked it gently. "I think she truly want to be released," _I_ murmured softly into his ear. He just sat there, his expression never changing. "She wants…_

_"To forget."_

_The shocking statement didn't surprise Hatori. He had made that assumption before; he just didn't want to admit it – not even to himself. He hung his head as the images ended and I was in the black, empty space once more._

_I could feel an invisible tear sliding down my nonexistent cheek. I didn't want to see anymore. It was too much pain to endure, and Akito knew it. _'Please stop…'_ I begged. _'I don't want to see anymore…'

_I felt him smirking and my spirits fell. _'I'm not done yet,'_ he stated. _'I still have to show you my memory of my favourite person…'

_The darkness lifted a little. It was night time. The only light seeping through the windows was the light from the moon. The floorboards squeaked and creaked beneath my feet as _I_ walked into the room. Everything else was silent. _I_ was grinning as _I_ softly closed the door behind me. _I_ saw him there… sitting on the floor all scrunched up in a little ball. _I_ slowly walked toward him._

_I gasped,_ 'Yu-Yuki-kun?'

_"Why can't you hear my voice…?"_

_I knew Akito's intensions. I could feel the leather pressed in the palms of my hands behind my back. I knew what he was going to do, and I didn't want to watch, but Akito's grasp on me and the memory, forced my eyes to never budge from their position on the small boy before me._

_He had his legs pulled up against his chest, his head resting on his knees. He covered his head with his hands, his hair shone like shimmering silver in the moonlight. He didn't respond, but shook with fear._

I_ stopped in front of him. "Did you think nothing would happen to you if you do that?"_

I_ drew out the thick, leather whip from behind my back. The boy didn't move. _I_ pulled it back and swung it. It cracked across his arm. _I_ whipped it at him again. It smacked his legs. _I_ grinned as _I_ watched him cringe in pain. My whip cracked against him again and again._

_"Stop! Please stop!" he cried as tears fell down his cheeks._

…

Akito laughed cruelly as he released me from his mind-control game. I fell back against the pillow on the bed, weak and shaking with horror. Tears streamed down my cheeks like waterfalls. Akito bent down on me again, his lips curved in a twisted smile. I wanted so badly to escape. I wanted to escape this never-ending nightmare that I couldn't wake up from. He saw my fear and gripped it cruelly in his hands. "Now that you have seen everything that I have done to everyone you care about," he declared, "I will now show you what I did to your _beloved_ Kyo."

I tried to resist him, but my efforts were futile as another memory was thrust upon me.

…

_Moonlight streamed through the open window. _I_ was sitting in the same seat, the same position, as _I_ was in the memory with Hatori and Kana. _I_ looked down at the woman before me, where Hatori was once sitting, her face cast in shadows behind her long hair._

_"I can't take it anymore!" she cried. She covered her face in her hands, shaking her hands. "I can't even look at him! All I see is-is that…" She shuddered, bringing her hands down from her face and clenching them into fists in her lap._

_"That _THING."

_She stood before me with tears suddenly breaking from her eyes and falling down her cheeks. Her breathing was ragged and her voice cracked as she screamed her frustration and pain to me._

_"I can't take it! It's not human! It's not! _It's not!"

_Her cries echoed off the forlorn walls and filled the emptiness with a sad and hollow atmosphere._

_I felt a stab of pain. _'K…Kyo…'

_When her sobs subsided after a minute and she had brought herself under control, did _I_ speak up. "Would you like some help? I can help you if you want…"_

I_ had it sitting next to me in its sheath on the table. My fingers encircled it and Akito's idea swirled and formed around inside my head. _

_I gasped and cried out to Akito. _'No, you can't!'

'Yes I can… and I did,'_ his voice replied, followed with a cruel and hollow laugh._

I_ held the object out to her. She looked up at me, her face encrusted by moonlight. Her eyes traveled down from my eyes and onto the dagger before her. She gaped at it, her eyes mesmerized with wonder and fear at the same time. She reached for it, her slender fingers trembled. She hesitated, pulling her hand back from it. _I_ knew she wanted to do it… but she was too afraid to take the easy way out._

_"You can do it…" _I_ coaxed her softly._

'No! Don't!'_ I screamed. _'What about Kyo-kun? What about your son!?'

_She couldn't hear me of course. She stared at me, at Akito, in horror, her lips shook. She could… she knew she could… but did she really want to? Was it really that simple?_

_"You know you want to…." _I_ laughed in spite of myself._

'Don't!'_ I yelled, unheard._

_"Then you won't have to face that monstrosity of a son ever again."_

'No… no, he's not… he's-'

_Then _I_ saw him. A tuff of orange hair peaked from the crack in the door from the corner of my eye; a muffled sniffle that no normal person could hear; a child not worthy to be called a son, lurking in the shadows outside the room, eavesdropping in on a conversation that was about to turn his life from a nightmare, to a never-ending hell; a child so unloved with a curse as equally unacceptable; a child that didn't belong in the Juunishi or the Sohma family – _

_I struggled for breath. _'Kyo-kun…'

_The woman slowly reached over and took the knife _I_ held out to her as I silently cried in pain and for Kyo…. She drew it from its sheath, its six-inch blade flashing in the silver moonlight. Her eyes were glazed over as she lifted it above her head. She mumbled something that Akito missed before she brought the knife down…_

_"Mom?"_

_She gasped when the metal stabbed into her stomach. Her eyes were wide as she cringed to the floor. The little boy was in the room now, standing only five feet away from his mother as she lay dying at his feet. Blood spilled around her as she stared up at him with tears streaming from her eyes. She saw his face glistening in the moonlight._

'He was just a boy…'

_"Mom?" He crouched down at her side. "Gomen, 'kaasan… I'm sorry I'm not the son you wanted." He sniffled as he reached for her free, clean hand and held it to his small, pained chest. "Gomen nasai…"_

_"No…" she murmured, gasping for air, cringing in pain, her eyes shining, "it's my fault. I couldn't…" She shuddered. "I couldn't…"_

_Her arm fell limp in his grasp and the little boy was left there, crying in pain over his mother in the puddle of blood._

…

Tears fell down my cheeks as Akito released me and I crumpled into a heap on the bed.

"Now that you've seen the truth, do you still want to love a monster that even a mother couldn't love?" he sneered, enjoying my pain.

I stared back at him with tear-filled loathing. "The only monster I have ever met is you," I whispered in a voice so low, it wasn't mine.

His face and eyes completely darkened. His lips turned to a snarl and he slapped me across my face, so hard that I fell to the ground. I lay sprawled there, my head spinning. He leapt upon me and grabbed my throat, pushing me down.

"I won't let you go back! Ever!"

Lightning flashed outside, his evil eyes lighting up with malevolence as thunder boomed not too far away.

"Did you actually believe I'd help you!? Did you actually think that I knew the cure for the curse!? And even if I did, I wouldn't help you! You don't even belong is this house, in this family – anywhere!

"And now you will pay for interfering with our lives," he sneered, softer now. He put his other hand over my eyes, the same hand that showed me all his horrible memories. "Now, I will show you what I'm going to do with you. You'll be sorry you didn't leave our family a long time ago!"

Just then, the door slid open. The room lit up again for a split second as lightning flashed closer to the house.

"Akito!"

Thunder vibrated through the stillness that followed.

Akito looked over to the door and slowly withdrew his hand. Hatori stood there; his eyes looked over me with concern and then swept over Akito. When his eyes met Akito's, he put his expressionless mask on. Akito rose to his feet slowly and readjusted his yukata on his shoulders. He ambled over to Hatori in the doorway.

"Erase her memories of the Sohma family. All of them. She will have nothing to do with us ever again," he declared softly. He looked over his shoulder at me. "Then throw her out onto the streets where she belongs…"

Akito left without a second glance back at me. Hatori closed the door behind him as I sat up on the floor. I let myself go and wailed, no longer trying to hold back my voice. I didn't want to be left alone on the streets, but more importantly, I didn't want to forget about all the people I cared about. I buried my face in my hands as Hatori walked toward me. I moved away from him, afraid that he might do what Akito told him to do. Shigure's words rang through my head:

_["Akito-san's word is law."]_

I expected Hatori to come up behind me and tell me to face him, but instead, he went to the window and opened it as far as it could go. Lightning flashed again, illuminating the sky in silvery blue light. He turned and faced me as Kyo crawled in through the window.

* * *

_**A/N**: (2010) When I wrote this back in 2004, I knew that Kyo's mother committed suicide, but I didn't know how, so this is what I came up with. _


	6. Light In Darkness

**A/N**: _Sorry for not updating sooner! I'm a _very_ busy girl. But I finally finished the chapter! (_Does a happy dance_) Also, has anyone read/seen the spoiler in chapter 97 of the manga? Talk about a shocker! That's not going to be included in this story… Enjoy! (original 2004 posting)_

**Chapter 5**** – Light In Darkness**

I grunted as I pulled myself in through the open window. Lightning streaked across the sky, filling the dark room with angelic white light. Hatori's plan was perfect. Who would have thought that the old stiff was so sly? It was his idea to have himself walk into Akito's room where he and Tohru would be performing 'the cure' and then open the window to have me crawl in when the coast was clear. Then, once I was in there with Tohru, Hatori would perform the real cure and we would be… we would be…. What would we be? Free? Normal? It all seemed so simple…

And Akito wouldn't know anything that took place.

I gotta give a hand to him; Hatori was risking a lot to help us. Too much if you ask me.

But when I saw the look on Tohru's face, the pain washed away by relief; I knew we were doing the right thing. I didn't want to be afraid of the 'what ifs' that were bound to happen – I wanted to be with her and make all of her dreams come true any way I possibly could.

"Kyo…" The word escaped from her soft lips like the breath of spring – full of happiness and gratitude.

I crawled to her side as lightning flashed outside, illuminating the dark room. I saw the tears glistening on her cheeks, her eyes glittering like diamonds. I touched her cheek with my fingertips, trying to wipe away her tears, her pain, with my simple gesture. I stared devotedly into her eyes with worry. "Tohru…are you okay?" I asked gently.

The colour was starting to come back into her cheeks. She reached up with shaky hands and clasped mine to her cheek. She closed her eyes, hugging my hands tenderly. Tears of happiness - but pained tears all the same - fell down her rosy cheeks. "Gomen…" she whimpered, barely a whisper. "Gomen nasai… I didn't know…"

She shook and I desperately wished to comfort her, but wasn't sure how. "It's okay, Tohru. I'm here. Akito can't hurt you anymore." I looked over to Hatori who was still standing by the window. He was almost invisible in the dark corner, but as lightning flashed, he appeared there as a ghastly reminder of why we were there and what we must do. "Hatori can help us," I assured her. Her glistening eyes gazed up into mine. I stared deeply into her tearful eyes lovingly. "He knows the cure."

She blinked repeatedly, registering what I had just told her. She looked over at Hatori appearing unsure and uneasy, almost as if she was afraid to believe it. "Demo… Hatori-san…?" she murmured softly.

"Hai…" he replied softly. He stared out the window, lost in thought, as it began to rain gently. "No one was supposed to know my discovery…. It more or less came as a surprise to me. I didn't know I had the power. Akito doesn't know either. If he should find out…" he sighed despairingly, "I can only imagine how much further I would be pulled into his cage. Demo… if I continued to hide it… sooner or later," he hung his head, covering his face in darkness, "he's going to find out. Demo… the time I had with Kana…" he paused, remembering the bittersweet memory, "I want to hold onto that memory… that feeling."

He looked at us despondently. "When I see you two together, trying to find a way to make things work… I remember her."

He appeared forlorn as he turned away and glanced out the window once more. "Love is precious. If I could bring Kana back, guilt free… I would." He looked at me. "I know you would do the same, Kyo. I see myself in you. I saw you in the same position I was in and I was afraid that the same thing I went through would happen to you and Tohru. That why I didn't say anything earlier. I was afraid for you two."

"Hatori…" I murmured, touched about his concern. Tohru sobbed softly next to me.

"Demo… I've made up my mind." He stepped toward us and kneeled down next to us. "I want to help both of you."

I nodded at Hatori and took both of Tohru's hands in mine. I gave Tohru an encouraging smile and her lips trembled upward weakly. "Let's do it then," I said more confidently than I really felt.

Hatori nodded. "This isn't exactly a cure... it more or less will let Tohru be able to hug you, Kyo, without transforming. You will still be cursed and will transform if you come into contact with anyone else." He took a deep breath. "Now listen carefully and do what I say. It may sound corny and cheap but it works—and it only works with true love."

Tohru shakily began to take some deep breaths to prepare herself for whatever may happen. I sat up straighter and took one long breath before nodding to Hatori to continue.

"Tohru: put your arms on top of Kyo's and hold the curve of his elbow in your hands. Kyo: put your arms under Tohru's and hold her elbows in the palm of your hands. The key is to not completely embrace each other, but keep your arms wide open."

Tohru and I followed his instructions in silence, our eyes staring uncertainly into each other's, listening carefully to Hatori's directions.

"Now, I want you two to think carefully about each other. Think about your favourite memories together and your possible future together as you close your eyes. Don't let go of each other or your memories until I say so."

Tohru and I both closed our eyes. Hatori put his right hand over my eyes and his left hand over Tohru's. I sensed a tremble in Tohru, but she remained silent and still on the floor.

I thought about the time by the pond when she first encountered my True Form. She was so gentle, so patient, and so tenderly honest. She saw me at my worst and still… she was here with me. Thinking about me right now as I was thinking about her.

_['From now on… together… together…I want to be with you…']_

And her kiss last night on the rooftop… I could never forget that intimate moment with her. I wanted to share more moments like that with her. I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. Nothing could destroy my love for her.

Hatori's voice cut through my thoughts, breaking me from my trance-like state. "Kyo, pull her to you. Embrace her in your arms, while at the same time, kiss her. A kiss will seal the arrangement. Do it now!"

I obeyed without hesitation as Hatori removed his hands from our eyes. I drew her into my arms and secured a frantic kiss on her lips, afraid to lose my one and only chance to be able to hug her, to kiss her. I felt the same tingly feeling that passes over when I was about to change… but nothing happened. I opened my eyes and ended the kiss, finding Tohru still in my arms – my human arms.

I did not transform.

She was here, resting against my chest, looking up at me. Her eyes were wide with astonishment and she cried out with joy, burying her face in my shoulder. "Kyo-kun, we did it! We did it, Kyo-kun!" she cried joyfully into my shirt.

"Tohru…" I choked, too overcome with emotion to know what to say other than state the obvious – which she had already done, twice.

_How is it possible? It can't be real…_

Yet, here she was… in my arms… crying with me.

"Stop crying Tohru," I begged bashfully, whispering between sniffles in her ear. "You're making me cry."

She released me, dabbing her tear streaked cheeks on her sleeve. "Gomen," she sobbed, "I'm just so happy, I don't know what to do!"

"I don't want to seem rude," said Hatori quietly from a corner of the room, "but I think it might be best if you both leave before Akito discovers you're still here."

Tohru blushed, wiping the remaining moister from her face. We had both forgotten about him, our savoir, for that short moment in each other's arms. We nodded our heads shakily and helped each other to our feet. We knew we had to leave because it would be disastrous if we stayed and got caught.

Lightning cracked and thunder bellowed as Hatori led us through the dark, lifeless hallways of Akito's house. He was careful and cautious to make sure no one was in sight before leading us down our blackened paths to the exist of the nightmare. The front gate of the Sohma Estate was the last obstacle to cross in order to escape the compound that tormented so many innocent lives. We shared a tearful farewell with Hatori before Tohru and I ran out the doors and into our furtive future.

...

Hatori walked back into Akito's house and grabbed a hand towel to dry his hair from the closet. He was sopping wet from head to toe and dripping water all over the wooden floorboards. Akito walked out of his room and leaned up against the doorframe weakly. He looked Hatori over and noted the stained floor that Hatori had soiled.

"Is it done then?" he asked darkly, his malicious eyes watching Hatori judgingly.

Thunder boomed as Hatori took the towel from his head and stared down at Akito. "Yes, she is out on the streets now with no idea where to go in the storm," He replied in a monotone voice.

"Good," Akito declared. He turned and slowly went back into his room and crawled into his hardened bed.

Hatori looked down at his shaking hands.

It wasn't over.

Not yet.

* * *

**_A/N_**_: And that's it for this chapter! Sorry it's short! I couldn't decide how I was going to write it so I just said to myself,_ "Screw it! Do it the way you originally planned to, even if it does seem cheesy." _So that's it!__ **THANKS FOR **_**_READING_****_ AND REVIEWING!_**


	7. The Power of Love

**_A/N:_**_ This chapter is rated "R" just to be safe due to mature content (though it's not a major lemon… if you'd even call it that… but it's an important event, so YES! It has to happen! Report it and die cuz I already warned you so you have no excuse!). Happy reading _

**Chapter 6**** – The Power of Love**

We ran out of the Sohma Estate and into the forest that would lead us home. The Sohma Estate was surrounded by woods to protect it and keep it hidden from normal people. The "Outsiders" often requested to have the trees cut down so that they could expand the compound, but Akito refused to give into their wishes for obvious reasons that they couldn't know about.

With Tohru's hand in mine, I led her through the blackness deep within the bush. I could hardly make out the shapes of the trees around me and was (quite frequently) whipped in the face by a low hanging branch. I could hear little yelps behind me after Tohru ran blindly into branches as well.

_As long as we don't fall and break a leg, we should be okay._

Suddenly, Tohru's foot caught a tree root protruding from the ground and was sent sprawling to the earth. I never even let go of her hand, but came flying down with her. Our fall was cushioned by the thick mud that surrounded us in the murky darkness. The rain never ceased to lessen, but continued to rage down. I flung around on the ground to see Tohru a few feet away, worried about her safety. "Tohru?"

She struggled to push herself up from the ground; her eyes were shut tightly with effort. She was hurt; I could smell it before a sharp cry escaped from her mouth.

"Are you okay?"

She looked up at me, her eyes shimmering as lightning flashed overhead. "My ankle…" she murmured, wincing.

I crawled over to her foot, the mud squishing beneath me, but it was too dark to tell its condition. "Dammit…" I gently felt around her ankle, careful as to not pressure it and hurt her further. I sighed with relief. "It feels like a sprang; it's not broken."

Still, we had to get out of this rain. It was draining all of my strength and energy faster than I'd like it too.

Tohru wouldn't look at me, feeling guilty about her injury, and began to sob quietly. "What are we going to do now, Kyo-kun?"

I wiped away a sopping wet strand of hair that clung to her dripping cheek and folded it behind her ear. I tilted her chin up with the tip of my finger and waited for her eyes to meet mine. "We're going to get out of here the only way we can," I told her soothingly.

She blinked in puzzlement before crying out in surprise as I lifted her into my arms. I grinned with a hint of red in my cheeks as she wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her body against mine. Ignoring the fluttering in my stomach, I carried her forward in the downpour. I may have been tired and weakened from the rain, but the thrill of having her in my arms and her warm body pressed up against mine – knowing we can be like this forever – filled me with strength and courage to protect her and take care of her.

She began to shiver. My body warmth wasn't enough to support her in her damp clothes and the cold wind pressing us back. I muttered to myself with worry and quickened my pace, jogging through the bush. I prodded my cat ears to pick up all the sounds in front and around us. Chirping crickets paused their song as we ran past them, then they carried on when we were a safe distance away. Lightning flashed overhead sending beams of light to illuminate our path and break the darkness from its hidden evils that lurked in the mossy growths. Thunder bellowed and shook the earth with its might to ward the evil from our passing.

Nature seemed to be on our side, and yet against us at the same time. But I was strong and determined – nothing would get in my way.

I heard a faint zooming of a car down a street ahead of us. I smiled, knowing that we were almost half way home. Then…

_Cramp!_

My mind screamed as searing pain tightened the muscles in my side. _Gasping_, I suddenly lost my balance and teetered off course. Tohru screamed in fright, "Kyo-kun, what's wrong?"

I fought with my jaw clenched, trying not to lose complete control of my footing. We ended up leaning to the right instead of going straight, but I refused to give in. No cramp would stop me from taking care of Tohru. I mean, it was just a cramp after all, right?

"Kyo-kun?"

"It's just a cramp," I gritted through my teeth. "I'll be fine."

Then I saw it. The house stood on its own, hidden among the high overhanging branches of the trees that guarded it from the sun, with no lights to fill the empty rooms with glowing hospitality. In its isolation, there wasn't even a single car parked around it. It was completely empty. Abandoned it appeared.

Too absorbed by the wondrous fortune before us, I tripped over a rock. I clasped my eyes shut, falling, _falling_…

_Tohru!_

"Itai!"

Hesitantly, I opened my eyes and peered down at Tohru beneath me. She lay stiffly under my body, unable to move. "Eh? Gomen!" I cried with worry. I pushed myself up and over her with my arms, however, still leaving her pinned to the ground. "Are you okay?"

Her tormented eyes opened and looked up into mine. Deep within my chest, my heart pounded loudly. Alarmed, I looked her over with wildly worried eyes, looking for any sign of internal pain that she might be feeling; when I noticed the rising and falling of her chest… so close to mine.

"I'm okay," she murmured, "but my butt hurts now."

Even though she was complaining, I was suddenly fascinated by her rosy lips. I had to hold myself back from launching at her. She had every right to complain about her condition when it was my own fault for forging it.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, finding her forehead looking very temping. I lowered down a few inches and gently kissed her above her right eyebrow. I wrapped her into my arms and held her close to me, relieved that she wasn't hurt too terribly. "I found shelter though."

She looked up at me in puzzlement as I pulled back and pointed to the house thirty or so feet away. Her eyes widened as she stared at it. She made no sounds of objection as I picked her up into my arms again and headed toward the house, trying to hide the sudden limp in my stepping. I, too, had twisted my ankle.

"Kyo-kun! We can't stay here! This is someone's house!" she protested upon reaching the small clearing in front of the house. The forest was behind us now and the rain splattered down harder on us without the trees' branches to shield us overhead.

"It's pouring rain out," I retorted. "Do you have a better idea?"

She flinched.

_I didn't say that too roughly, did I? I didn't mean to…_

I tried to sound gentler now. "I mean, I don't think they would mind if we asked to borrow a room for the night to escape the storm. And to make you feel better," I stated, adding a small (very small) hint of cheerfulness, "you could offer to make them breakfast in the morning as payment for their hospitality."

A small smile crept onto her face. "Hai!"

When we reached the house, I put Tohru down on her feet on the porch and knocked sharply on the door and waited. When no one answered after a minute, I knocked again and went to the nearest window about six feet away to peer inside.

"I don't think anyone's home…" Tohru mumbled sadly, standing helplessly by the door.

I peeked into the dark window to see an old, ratty looking couch and an empty nightstand in the lifeless room. Both of which were covered with dust. The wooden floorboards were laden with dust, undisturbed in their thick complexity.

"I thought so," I remarked, more so to myself. "This place is abandoned."

She gave me a puzzled look, tilting her head to the side slightly. "Are you sure?"

"Yup, positive," I said, returning to her side.

"Well, what do we do now?" she asked timidly. "If we don't find shelter soon, we'll catch a cold and be sick before we can change into something warm and dry."

I new she was right. And quite frankly, I was practically on my last thread of strength. I was ready to collapse at any moment. I could feel my patience dissolving as well. Soon I'd be nothing more than a big grumpy puss.

In spite of myself, I turned the door knob – AND BEHOLD! THE DOOR – SHE OPENS!

_Ahem-_ Maybe I was _too_ eager to get out of the rain…

"Kyo-kun!" Tohru cried out with her hair sticking up on end. "What are you doing?"

"Do you want to freeze to death?" I growled.

She shrank away hesitantly. "No…"

"Then get inside!" I snapped impatiently.

"H-HAI!"

She quickly stepped inside, dripping water onto the wooden floorboards. Meanwhile, I covered my face with my beaded hand, trying to bring myself under control. I was slipping too quickly and too suddenly. I had to hold myself together at least until we found something dry to change into.

We took our shoes off in the entranceway and stood there for a few minutes just dripping and wondering what to do.

We broke into someone's house…

Well, we didn't exactly _break_ in… just more or less _invited_ ourselves in. But technically, we weren't really breaking in at all because it was abandoned. _Trespassing_ was a more accurate word to describe it… but who would leave the front door unlocked in the first place? That was just stupid. It was just asking some strange person to come walking in and act like they owned the place. Honestly, who in their right mind would abandon a perfectly good (though dusty) house with the door unlocked? On the bright side, it didn't look like it was disturbed since its abandonment because the dust was about the same thickness everywhere.

We began to walk slowly down the dusty hallway. Cobwebs clung decoratively in the corners of the ceiling. Clasping Tohru's clammy, cold hand, I led her through the house.

"We should probably find some dry clothes to change into before we catch colds," I muttered after Tohru sneezed softly behind me.

She nodded in agreement and we began to open closets in search for any dry clothes. Disappointment gripped us crippled. The only articles to be found in the closets were moth-eaten pieces of material indistinguishable with holes. Heading up the stairs, we had to be careful because one of the steps about midway up had broken in half and the others creaked as though they would soon follow suit. Upstairs, there seemed to be a study, a large bathroom, a guest room and a master bedroom. There were still beds in the rooms with moth-eaten sheets, dressers and shelves. In the study, the desk was still standing under the window, covered in an inch of dust and a seven foot tall bookshelf stood next to the desk, crammed full with ancient books. The bathroom was absolutely disgusting and neither Tohru nor I dared to venture inside it. Outside the bathroom, there was a closet used to hold bed linen and towels. To our great relief, we found a half decent bed sheet. There was a large hole in it, about three feet wide, but other than that, it wasn't in too bad shape.

"This is all there is," I told her as she stared at the sheet dumbly, shivering in her wet clothes.

"What are we going to do with it?"

I studied the king-size sheet closely. It was big enough for the both of us. If we had some safety pins it would be better, but we'll just have to make do with what we had. I took the thin cloth in the middle where the huge hole was and _ripped_.

Tohru jumped in horror. "Kyo-kun! What are you doing?"

I didn't answer right away. Clenching my jaw tightly, I ripped the sheet carefully into two roughly equal halves. When I finished, I thrust one half at her. "Here," I declared, "get out of your wet clothes and wrap this around you."

Suddenly realizing that we were going to use the sheet as makeshift clothes, she nodded and went into the guest room to change. I went into the study and quickly hopped out of my wet clothes. Well, I had to more or less _peel_ my clothes off as they had clung to me like an extra layer of skin. I wrapped my half of the sheet several times around my waist and '_tied'_ it securely.

I left the guest room, carrying my damp clothes in a wadded up ball. I ventured into the master bedroom to discover the king-size bed with perfectly good –though dusty– sheets. My bare feet felt numb on the cold wooden floors and I fully became aware of how cold the house was and how tired I was. I deposited my bundle of clothes in a heap on the floor by the door to the bedroom and went to the bed to shake off the coat of dust on the sheets. When I was almost finished and was remaking the bed, when Tohru came into the room with a hanger in her left hand.

I stopped to stare at her. I didn't get to see her wrapped in a towel at the onsen, but I imagined it was similar to this. She had the sheet wrapped around her full chest and flowed carelessly down just short of her mid-thigh. Her hair hung loosely over her slender shoulders in tangled, wet whisps.

She was blushing. Her eyes met mine and I found my face growing hot as well. She looked… well, to be blunt, almost _naked_. She bent down and I could almost see her chest as she picked up my clothes from the ground and hung them the hangers she brought with her and placed them on the door's knobs to dry. Lightning flashed outside, illuminating the room in white light and… the sheets were really thin.

_We're both not wearing any underwear…_

At this thought, she looked down at me with a puzzled look as I felt the rising of a 'tent'.

…And then my sheet loosened.

"ACK!" I turned sharply, my back to her, and quickly fixed my sheet before my manhood was revealed.

_Damn you!_ I cursed the bulging apparatus. Now was not the time to let my teenage hormones run wild and free.

When I turned back to Tohru, covering the tent behind my hands, I saw she was blushing as she shivered from cold. She had her arms folded across her chest, both to keep her warm and hold her sheet in place, and was looking at the bed behind me.

"A-Ano… it might be warmer if… if we…" She didn't finish as her eyes met mine.

I looked at the bed that had only one sheet.

_Yes… it would be warmer…_

I had to turn away again, blushing fiercely as the one-track minded dick, rising between my legs, hardened with dirty intensions.

"H-Hai…" I managed to whisper, swallowing forcefully.

I was going to crawl –half naked– into bed with a girl –who I loved– who was also half naked. It was too much for my hormone-driven, virgin body to handle.

As she stepped slowly toward the bed, I caught her arm and turned her toward me. Her round eyes stared up into mine with bewilderment. I found myself staring deep into their warm depths and swallowing. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"Hai," she breathed quietly, her eyes fixed on mine.

I felt her chest rising and falling with each breath she took against mine. I licked my lips, looking down at hers. Like a pair of strawberries in the afternoon sun; I had to kiss them. I lowered my lips to hers and held them gently and tenderly. Warmth spread through me and I drew back. "I'm happy."

To my surprise, she threw her arms around me and kissed me intensely with desire. I instinctively gave in and pulled her roughly against me. I swept my tongue over hers, dancing with delight. She clung to me as if she could no longer hold herself up. My own knees were turning to jelly so I released her in order to regain my balance. She collapsed against my heaving chest, panting and staring up at me with warm, exotic eyes.

"I'm sorry," I blushed, leading her to the side of the bed and sitting her down next to me. I took her hands in mine, stroking them with my thumbs. "I didn't mean to force you or anything…"

_Damn you look sexy!_

"…Are you okay?" I asked nervously.

"I'm fine, Kyo-kun, and I'm…" she blushed, turning away and blinking several times in embarrassment, "I'm equally at fault. I shouldn't have clung to you-"

"No, no, it's fine," I reassured her, suddenly turning red as well, "I liked it actually."

She slowly raised her gaze back to mine, smiling shyly. "I did too."

I dipped her head and kissed her softly, cupping her blushing cheek in the palm of my hand. I drew her closer as she placed her hand behind my neck. Tiny hairs tingled all over my neck, spine and arms from her touch and my kisses grew stronger and more passionate. I could feel the heat rising off my chest as the hand I held her cheek in drifted down her throat and over her soft shoulders. She shivered and I was filled with excitement. I slowly backed her up to the head of the bed and released her. I stared down at her as my body towered above hers, claiming hers. Her sheet had almost come off, exposing one of her twin breasts and… it seemed I had already lost my sheet.

I stared down into her perplexed eyes, trembling as I fully came to realized what I was doing.

_I almost de-flowered the flower!_

"I'm sorry!" I cried in shame. I looked away from her dreamy gaze in fear. "I-I shouldn't have forced you to…" I wanted to fix her sheet so that she was, well, _covered_, but wasn't sure. I was afraid that she might _hit_ me, thinking I was trying to _grab_ her when I was just trying to help and-

"Kyo, what's wrong?"

I stared at her with wide eyes.

_What's… wrong…?_

My tongue became tied, "A-Are you s-sure you want to… to…?"

Her eyes softened and a small, though shy, smile crept to her face. "I love you Kyo," she whispered. "I always have. Even if you are still cursed, I still love you."

_-'I'll take the bad with the good!'-_

"Always."

Tears gathered in my eyes as I kissed her again before dipping down and carrying her higher than the clouds.

I didn't know what was going to happen next, but I truly believed that no matter what did happen, our love could overpower any obstacle. I could only hope that that was true.


	8. A Warm Welcome

**Chapter 7**** – A Warm Welcome**

I woke the next morning with golden light streaming through the yellowed curtains hanging a few inches apart in front of the bedroom window. A faint song of a bird chorused somewhere outside. Smiling contently, I looked down at the sleeping figure on my chest––Tohru. I watched her rising and falling with the steady movements of my breathing. Up and down. So calm and peaceful.

Watching her, innocently sleeping there, I began to wonder what happened with Akito. No doubt he did something terrible to her to make her cry. I was glad that I could release her of some of that pain, even if it was only for a short period of time. I began to wonder what Akito _could've_ and _would've_ done if Hatori and I didn't arrive in time…

I shuddered, waking Tohru from her serene slumber.

"Mmmm… Kyo-kun?"

_She's too precious._

"Ohayo," I greeted, kissing the top of her head.

She smiled sleepily, "Ohayo gozaimasu."

The left arm that I had wrapped around her brushed over the soft skin of her arm and shoulder. "How are you feeling? You didn't catch a cold, did you?"

She shook her head on my chest and snuggled up onto my chest. "No, I'm good." She looked up and held my eyes with her own sparkling ones. "I'm happy I'm with you, Kyo-kun."

_She's too perfect to be real…_

I kissed her again tenderly.

_I can't believe that she chose me…_

"What should we do now, Kyo-kun?" she asked, studying me closely with crystal eyes.

_I never thought about that…_

"Surely Hatori-san called Shigure-san and warned him about what happened with Akito-san," she said softly. Her voice dropped sadly, "I'm suppose to have my memory erased and be left lost on the streets. If we go back…"

"It would be the first place Akito would look," I finished. "Shishio's would be the next place Akito would look…"

"But, Kazuma-san lives too far away. I still have to go to school. I really want to finish high school…" her eyes pleaded me as she spoke this.

I nodded understandably. "Your promise with your mother. You've come so far, there's no point in quitting."

_What… should we do?_

_I have no idea…_

I crawled out of the large bed, scratching my head in thought, oblivious to the fact that I was butt-naked. Hatori would definitely get in trouble if Akito found out that he helped us instead of suppressing Tohru's memories. I didn't want Hatori go get in trouble, especially after he'd helped us so much. Beyond that, we had sex––no, _made love_––in an abandoned house. And, I still hadn't managed to defeat that damn Yuki.

_Damn it… things just keep building up…_

"Kyo-kun?"

"Huh?" I looked over my shoulder at the blushing Tohru, sitting up in bed, clutching the sheet to her bare chest.

_I can't give up on her._

"Should we stay here for the time being?"

"Stay here?" I repeated. My eyes quickly scanned over the dusty, moldy room. It would do for the time being. "Yeah. I'll talk to Shishio this afternoon… see if he might be able to help us at all."

"I don't want to burden him…" she hung her head. "I've messed things up so much! Gomen na-"

She was cut off as I threw her clothes in her face. I smirked as she pulled the clothes down from her head, looking at me with questioning eyes. "Don't apologize, okay? You have so many friends who are more than willing to help you," I told her, covering myself with my hands. "You're not a burden to any of us, okay?"

"Hai…" she blushed.

I turned and left the room so she could change in privacy and carried my clothes, still on the hanger, to the guestroom to change myself. Upon entering the room, I found a light switch and tried to flick it on, but it seemed there was no electricity in the house.

_That won't do… but for now…_

I quickly pulled my boxers and pants on, but my shirt seemed to have shrunk a bit, so I left it on the hanger and put it on the hallway closet doorknob. With the morning sunlight filling every corner of the house, it looked not too bad. Somewhat homey––but I could do without the cobwebs in the corners of the ceiling. Shivering, I rubbed my hands over my bare arms for warmth. Tohru opened her door, dressed in the clothes she wore yesterday, that appeared to have shrunken a bit too. We stepped toward each other and I threw my arms around her, shaking involuntarily.

Shocked, she cried," Kyo-kun, you're freezing!"

"I know," I grinned, teeth chattering, "and so are you." I pushed back her hair and discovered her ear curving outward with gentle graceness. I nibbled it playfully and felt her face growing hot next to mine. I thought maybe it was from her embarrassment or shyness, but I later learned that it was her weakness.

She too began to quiver all over so I stopped to hold her closer to keep her warm.

_Mmmm__… neck…_

I spied her smooth, slender neck and softly planted butterfly kisses from below her ear down and over her shoulder. I noticed her chest rising rapidly as her breathing grew hungrier for air. I pulled back to look at her face. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was slightly open as if she was going to sigh, 'Ah'.

I felt the heat rising off her chest as her eyes began to flutter open. I took my chance to capture her lips fervently with mine. I pushed her up against the wall, finding my hands roaming up her shirt. I wanted more. I had a taste of her the night before and I wanted another bite.

She didn't push me away, but eagerly pulled my body closer against hers. We loosened our clothes and took our prize, gasping with intense desire. And when we let go, we weren't cold anymore; but we were still faced with the same problems.

Where were we going to go?

What should we do?

What could we do to stay together?

…

It was barely seven in the morning when we decided to leave the dust infested _hide-out_. We cautiously made our way back to Shigure's house without catching too much attention in our tight, mud-ridden clothes. We snuck inside, quietly as to not wake the sleeping nezumi and inu. Tohru drew herself a warm bath upstairs and I took one on the main floor. When I had finished and was just stepping out of the bathroom, I was greeted warmly by a most venomously hard glare.

"What happened to Honda-san last night?" Yuki demanded; his normally cool eyes were blazing with loathing. "You didn't shame her innocence, did you?"

My face grew hot and I shoved him aside before he noticed. "Don't be so vile," I snapped, walking down the hallway with a towel wrapped around my waist and carrying my soiled clothes in my left hand.

"If anything bad happens to Honda-san, you know it will be entirely your fault and I will kill you for it," he declared darkly, following closely behind me.

"Shut up!" I hissed, slamming my bedroom door in his face.

_Kuso__ nezumi!__ What the hell would he know anyway!?_

Throwing the muddy clothes on the ground, I rummaged through my closet and drawers for clean clothes to change into.

_He wasn't there! He didn't see the utter horror on her face!_

I whipped the towel off, flung it to the floor next to the dirty clothes, and began to put clean ones on.

_He never tasted her on the verge of collapsing onto each other at the height of passion!_

Finished changing, I glared with hatred at the door in which I slammed in the rat's face.

_He doesn't know that I'd give up my very life for her!_

Shaking now, I sat cautiously onto the edge of my bed, my lips trembling. I covered my face in my hands, fully realizing the dilemma I created.

_My god… what have I done!?_

…

"Hatori told us," came Yuki's cold greeting when I left my bedroom. He had waited for me while I was changing to squeeze out all the dirty details for our plight.

I ignored him and pushed past him, refusing to answer any of his crude questions.

"He said that––" I started walking down the stairs to the main floor "––that Honda-san was suppose to have her memories erased––" I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and stared at the wall before me, "––and be tossed out on the streets."

"That didn't happen," I grumbled. "I would never let that happen."

"Haa-san said that you two then left together. Where did you go?" prodded Shigure, stepping out of his study, tapping a pen on his chin. A grin spread across his face, "You didn't do anything _perverted_, did you?"

I growled angrily, "AGH! Will you two get off my back for once!? Dammit!"

I stomped into the kitchen as Shigure began to sing loudly to himself, "Kyo-kun no sukebe!" ('_Kyo-kun's a pervert!_')

The damn rat followed me over to the fridge to badger me some more. "What are we going to do now? We can't keep Honda-san here. Akito will find out that Hatori didn't erase her memories and throw her out in the streets like he was told to. He's going to get in trouble because of you. Did you ever think about that?"

I turned sharply on him. "Of course I did, kuso nezumi!" I snapped irritably. "I'm not stupid!"

"Funny you say that considering it was your idea to go there in the first place," he glared darkly.

"Ah! Ohayo gozaimasu, Yuki-kun!" exclaimed Tohru cheerfully as she entered the kitchen. "You're up bright and early today."

I turned my back to her and that stupid rat as he returned the greeting, quite politely too I must add. I stood there trying to bring my temper down, clenching and unclenching my fists in front of the fridge door.

"It's nice to have you safely back, Honda-san."

"Hai! I feel so refreshed after having my bath. The weather last night was terrible! I'm glad Kyo-kun and I didn't catch a cold!"

"Yes, Honda-san, you are very fortunate. You should relax today before going back to school tomorrow. We had quite the eventful long weekend, didn't we?"

"Hai!"

_It's__ almost as if nothing has changed…_

I stormed out of the kitchen, fed up with listening to that kuso nezumi's flirting chit-chat with Tohru.

"Ah! Kyo-kun!" I heard Tohru cry after me. I stopped just out of view from the kitchen doorway, pausing to cool down and debate on whether to go back in to make myself some breakfast as I intended to do. However, upon hearing Yuki's reply, I thought better of it.

"Forget about him, Honda-san. He's an idiot. But tell me, how are you? He didn't _do_ anything to you, did he?"

I growled under my breath and hurried to my sanctuary––the roof.


	9. The Illness

**Chapter 8**

**The Illness That Would Forever Change Their Lives**

_Does she really love me? Or was she just saying it because she knew those were the words I wanted to hear?_

The sun was almost directly above me between a few marshmallow clouds that dotted the sky, and a cool, almost cold, breeze nipped at my baggy clothes. I really should have put on a sweater or a jacket over my black t-shirt, but was too stubborn to go back downstairs and fetch one or the other. That damn rat was still down there making _kissy_ faces at Tohru! Hasn't he realized that Tohru chose me over him? She doesn't love him!

_'I love you Kyo. I always have. Even if you are still cursed, I still love you._

_'Always.'_

I rubbed my bare arms, shivering, trying to warm myself. Even though it was September, the wind was so cold you would think it was nearly November. The leaves were still green on the trees, but it would only be a matter of weeks before they started to change bright colours and tumble to the ground. In three months, there will be snow on the ground and I will be 18 years old. In six months, the snow will have melted away and the blossoms would be in full bloom when I entered my final year of high school. Which means I only have 18 months left until…

But she loved me. That was all that mattered. Her love was all that ever mattered to me.

_It has to be true. She wouldn't say it if it wasn't._

_But…_

I pulled my shirt tighter around me, ignoring my chattering teeth and the gust of cruel wind that pulled at my clothes and whipped my hair in every direction.

_She was just like that too…_

_Okaa__-san…._

"Kyo-kun, what are you doing up here? You'll catch a cold!"

I didn't look up at her as she climbed from the ladder and onto the roof. I listened intently to her careful steps as she walked up beside me and placed my jacket gently on my shoulders. I reached up and covered her warm hand on my shoulder with my own icy one before she could move it. I looked up into her puzzling eyes and mumbled a small, "Arigato."

Tohru flashed me a beaming smile as she sat down next to me, bundled up in her winter woolies. I pulled my jacket on and zipped it up, jamming my hands into its pockets to warm them.

"Winter sure is coming quickly! This fall is going to be a cold one!" she exclaimed, shielding her eyes from the sun's intensely bright rays above us.

Her cheerful smile radiated warmly in a way that normally would have melted my frozen heart and made me smile back, but I was so withdrawn that not even her smile could penetrate through my icy skin. I didn't say anything, but nodded while staring at the lush leaves hanging limply on the trees. I seemed to make her uneasy with my hallow silence, for she called my name in question.

"Huh?" I replied unintelligently, raising my copper eyes to meet hers.

She regarded me with worry, and asked in a concerned voice, "What's the matter? Are you feeling alright? You didn't catch a cold up here, did you?"

"Huh?" I repeated dumbly. For some reason, I couldn't seem to focus. I could hear the wind blowing in my ears and feel it on my skin, but the wind only seemed to pass through me. I felt as though I wasn't quite _there_. I could hear, see, smell and feel… but what good were those senses when they had no effect?

She reached over and felt my forehead. Her bright eyes clouded over. "I think you should go inside and go to bed, Kyo-kun," she stated. "You feel a little warm."

_'He came down with pneumonia… they said.'_

I nodded my head in silent defeat to her wishes._ I don't want her to worry about me. I never want to make her worry about my health._

She stood up and took my cold hands in her own warmly gloved ones. I slowly rose to my feet and together we ambled over the roof to the ladder. We climbed down and Tohru hugged me protectively. "Take it easy, okay? I'll make you some nice soup," she said. "That will make you feel better."

I grabbed her as she was about to hurry off to the kitchen to start the soup. She blinked at my hand gripping her arm before looking up at me. "What did that kuso nezumi say to you when I left?" I questioned.

Her puzzled blinking continued. "Yuki-kun asked me if you did anything to me last night and I told him not to worry because you would never hurt me. He then went on saying, 'That's not what I meant' and left me in the kitchen feeling all confused and wondering what he meant," she admitted.

I couldn't help but grin weakly because I knew exactly what that damn rat was talking about—and yes, I did get some action that Tohru didn't push away.

"You didn't hurt me last night," she continued saying quietly, blushing, and looking down at her feet, "you were quite gentle actually. This morning, though, you weren't so gentle. But then…" she looked up and locked her eyes with mine, "neither was I."

I smirked to myself, knowing that she understood Yuki's comment. I pulled her roughly against me and kissed her hungrily. She wrapped her arms around my neck and indulged herself in the kiss's rushing fire. Cutting the kiss short, I backed up and sneezed.

Tohru freaked. "Oh! Kyo-kun! You're catching a cold!" she took my arm and dragged me inside the house. We hurried past Yuki (who was just leaving to tend to his leek-infested garden) and up the stairs to my room. She led me to my bed and tucked me in. "You must rest now, Kyo-kun, in order to beat that cold! Leave everything to me!"

I gazed up at her as she bent down and kissed my forehead gently. She held my hand in hers and gazed back at me. "I love you," she whispered with a blush.

My face grew hot—as if it wasn't hot with fever already—as I murmured, "I love you too."

She waited for me, by my bedside until I drifted off into slumber before she let go of my hand and left the room to prepare soup for lunch. When night arrived, my little fever worsened to the point where I was delirious to everyone and everything around me.

…

The following morning was partly cloudy and was predicting showers and a possibility of a thunderstorm later in the afternoon and evening. The long weekend was over now and the three teenagers were looking forward to another fun-filled day at school with all the lovely high school girls, or so Shigure expected. Shigure was awakened early—_"Too early!"_—by a distressed Tohru dashing into his room.

"Shigure-san! Shigure-san!" she exclaimed next to Shigure's sleeping form.

"Mmmh…"

"Wake up, Shigure-san!" she cried, shaking the disgruntled, sleepy inu.

"Hmph…" Shigure rolled over, his back facing her.

Tohru blinked in surprise. Was he not going to listen to her anguish, or what? She began to shake him harder and more intensely.

He jerked his arm at her, trying to shoo her away. "_Meeeeh_!" he whined pathetically.

She tilted her head, getting a little fed up with his childishness. She stepped back, fighting the urge to burst into tears. "This is really important, Shigure-san!" she begged haplessly.

"Meeh…?"

She bit her bottom lip anxiously. "Kyo-kun's cold got worse during the night!" she cried exasperatedly. "We need to call Hatori-san right now!"

"… 02…"

Tohru didn't understand his muffled statement through the pillow and she only became more hysterical, trying to pull him from his bed. "We have to call him right now!" she repeated. "Kyo-kun needs to see—"

Shigure just groaned some more. It had been a long and lively—yet lonely—night. He raised his arm, straining with the effort to point to the phone on his desk. His face was still in his pillow when he muttered, "02… on the speed-dial."

"Ah! Hai!" She understood now, and jumped up from Shigure's side and leapt over to the desk. She searched through the mound of papers on the desk's top, throwing the papers in every-which-way in order to find the phone. She found it, grabbed it, and punched in '0-2' and 'Speed-dial' and clamped the phone against her ear. It rang four times before he answered.

"Hello, Hatori-san?" she questioned.

There was a pause on the other end. Then she heard: "…Shigure?"

She blinked in confusion, _Shigure?_ "No… it's Honda Tohru," she corrected.

"Yes…"

Tohru was thoroughly perplexed now and didn't know what to make of the situation. Before she could question Hatori further, he answered: "Akito is here."

Tohru gasped. That was why he called her 'Shigure'! He didn't want Akito to find out who he was really talking to! If Akito found out that it was indeed herself who called Hatori, he would discover that Hatori didn't erase her memories and was living at Shigure's! What a smart, smart man Hatori was!

"Did you want to see him?" Hatori asked her, as if he really was talking to Shigure. "He's not in the best of health right now, some other time would be better."

"Thank you," she sighed with relief, clutching her chest with her hand. "I was confused for a moment there. I'm really grateful for all that you've done."

"Yes."

Shigure listened to Tohru closely with his face still buried in his fluffy pillow. He wasn't exactly sure what Hatori was saying, but he had a pretty good idea when listening to Tohru's confused responses. It didn't take a genius to figure it out, especially when a certain genius like himself knew Hatori for as long as he could remember. That devious dragon…

She bit her lip again, feeling her teeth sink in deeper than the first time and blood slipping out of her wound. She licked her lips absentmindedly. "But, we have a problem," she confessed sadly.

"Yes?"

"Kyo-kun is really sick," she replied. "We need you to help us."

"…Kyo's sick?"

Tohru heard a faint voice on the other end of the phone, but couldn't make out the words. No doubt it was Akito. What was he saying? It couldn't be anything good, whatever it was. Nothing Akito said or did was ever good anymore….

"Shigure, you better put on some tea," Hatori muttered after a moment's pause. "Akito's decided to come with me."

She froze. The blood drained from Tohru's face and she suddenly felt as cold as stone.

"A-Akito…?"

Shigure rolled over onto his side on his bed to watch her. He was fully awake now and concerned about what Hatori had just told Tohru involving Akito. He watched her without making a sound.

"Okay, we'll be over there in about five to ten minutes," Hatori told her.

"Hai…"

The phone went dead in Tohru's hand. She looked as if she might pass out. Shigure climbed out of his bed and quickly reached her side. "Tohru-kun, what's the matter?" he asked, taking the phone from her hand before she dropped it.

Her eyes were wide as she stared off into space, the news sinking down painfully into the pit of her stomach. "He's coming… he's coming here…" she stared up at Shigure with tears in her fearful eyes. "Akito…."


	10. Nightmares Come True

**Chapter 9  
****Only Nightmares Come True**

Shigure put the phone down on the desk. He held both of her arms to help steady her in case she fainted. "Tohru-kun…"

Her eyes were wild and darting in every direction. She didn't know what to do. She was in a panic. "I'm not even supposed to be here…." Her eyes were filled with tears. "My memory should have been erased and I should be out in the streets instead of being here…" she sobbed quietly.

His heart went out to the poor girl he had grown attached to over the year. She was more than just a guest in his house (that did all the housework); she was like one of his own younger cousins… except she wasn't a cursed one. He wanted to help her and protect her in anyway he possibly could. He wanted to comfort her, but didn't know how to do more than just support her like he was at that moment. He looked down at her tenderly and then, his eyes sweeping around the room for a moment, came to a conclusion. "It's okay, Tohru-kun," whispered Shigure gently. "I have an idea."

Her eyes rose up to meet his with tears lining their edges. "You do?"

Shigure took her cold hand and declared, "Hurry! Come with me!"

He dragged her out of his room and down the hallway. She followed, so close on his heel that she was practically stumbling over her own two feet. "Where are we going?" she staggered, her eyes wide as she stared after him.

They started to climb the stairs to the second floor; Shigure didn't answer her question, but said, "Go into your room and collect the clothes you wore last night, your mother's picture, and anything else you remember having the day you went to Akito's. Then, meet me outside your bedroom door, okay?"

She blinked in silence momentarily before replying hastily, "Hai!"

She hurried into her room and pulled her items from their containers and put them on her bed. She remembered that she wore a coat and shoes the day she went to Akito's, so she ran downstairs to the front entrance where the closet was, pulled her coat from the closet and snatched her shoes from the ground. She hurried back upstairs to her room to collect the things she left on her bed and met Shigure at her door soon after with Yuki waiting next to him. Yuki appeared equally worried and nervous as his taller cousin standing next to him.

"Now what?" she asked them.

Yuki took her coat and shoes to relieve her from all of the objects to carry. "We're going to hide you, Honda-san," Yuki told her in a reassuring voice.

"Yes," said Shigure. "We're going to stuff you and this stuff in the attic so Akito won't find you."

"You have an attic?" she declared in disbelief. "I didn't know you had an attic!"

"No doubt it's messier than a barn," Yuki remarked coldly.

"No one's been up there for years, but it should make due," stated Shigure. Shigure led Tohru to a wooden ladder protruding down from the ceiling a few feet from the top of the staircase.

"Now Yuki-kun, we have to hurry," Shigure told Yuki sternly. "Akito's going to be here in about five minutes. I want you to take Tohru-kun's stuff up to the attic while I put on some tea." Shigure turned away from Yuki and gave Tohru a sympathetic look. "Tohru-kun, you should tell Kyo-kun what's going on. Hopefully he'll be able to hear you and understand you."

The two teenagers nodded. Shigure went back downstairs to make tea for Akito; Yuki took Tohru's things and disappeared up the ladder. Tohru was left in the hallway with her heart beating in her ears. She knew what she had to do, but she was scared. Everything was happening so quickly. She bit her lip, sidestepping with indecisiveness and uncertainly of what to do and how to do it. After a few seconds, she persuaded herself to move and soon she was entering Kyo's room and kneeling next to his bed. A grey, dreary light filtered into Kyo's room from the window, casting a dingy glow throughout its surroundings. Kyo's skin looked yellowish-grey in the desolate light. She watched his perspiring, sleeping form, and his eyelids dancing restlessly as he dreamed. She hated the thought of waking him, but she knew she had to in order for him to understand the dangers they were about to face.

"Kyo-kun," she whispered softly, her voice cracking with emotion, "Kyo-kun, wake up."

A groan escaped his lips as his eyebrows frowned, "Toh…?"

She brushed a strand of hair from his face. "It's time to wake up, Kyo-kun."

"Where… where are you?" He groaned, blinking his eyes quickly and squinting at her.

Her heart ached and she clasped her hands around one of his clammy ones. He was so pitiful in this ill state; it pained her to watch him. She couldn't tell what he was feeling or thinking, she only hoped that she was able to reach through to him in his fever-controlled mind and body. "I'm here, Kyo-kun. I'm right here."

His eyes fluttered, blinking less as he was able to see and comprehend his surroundings. He studied her through his squinted vision. He frowned at her, seeing her for the first time. "Why… why are you crying?"

She hadn't noticed. Her eyes widened as her fingers flew to her flushed cheeks to find them wet. "I'm-I'm sorry… it's just…"

"Don't cry…. You know I can't stand it…" he muttered, reaching for her cheek weakly, but was unable to reach it.

She caught his searching hand, and held it to her cheek. She closed her watery eyes, sniffled once before opening them again to watch her love lying limply in his bed. "I know… it's just that… you're sick and… and I had to call Hatori-san to come and see you, and…"

A small, wavering smile crossed his face. "Don't be afraid Tohru. I'll pull through. I always have."

"Honda-san," Yuki called from the doorway, "you must hurry."

She looked up at Yuki briefly with tears falling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry Kyo-kun," she murmured in a choked and fearful voice, "but I have to go now…"

Kyo gave her a puzzled look. He clutched her hand, afraid to let her go. "Where are you going? Don't leave me… please…"

She stood up. "I'm sorry, I can't be with you right now…"

His eyes were wide now as he lost his grasp on her. "Wait… Tohru, where you going? Don't go!"

She bent down close to his face. "I'm sorry, but I have to go…. Akito's coming."

His eyes dilated in horror. "A-Aki…"

"Just know that I will always love you, no matter what happens," she sobbed quietly. She kissed his forehead and fled the room to the attic.

...…...

_**(((Kyo's POV)))**_

It was one big nightmare come true. I hadn't been sleeping well, tossing and turning all night, living through my horrid dreams with fear. I was forced to relive certain memories I would have rather forgotten if I could have.

In a misty haze, she was there before me. She was glowing, like an angel from heaven. She was so beautiful. I could hear her calling my name. The mist would blanket her, hide her from me, and then she would reappear before me again, this time closer, still calling my name. We spoke momentarily and tenderly, as if these precious moments would soon be our last. The mist would shield her from me many and many times as I tried to speak with her, and I was forced to blink many times as bright light that glowed around her, blinded me from her beauty. Waking slightly from the dream, but still hallucinating from the fever, I watched her move. She knelt next to me on the puffy white cloud, holding my hand in hers. I squinted in the hazy white light. Her rosy cheeks shimmered as tears trickled from her large, sad eyes. Why… why was she crying?

She looked away for a fleeting second of nervousness as I asked the question. She sniffled, trying to speak calmly, but losing her control over her tears and obviously her fears. I couldn't make sense of the things she was saying. What was she talking about? Why was she crying? Why was she scared? Was it because I was sick? I'll get better. I won't lose to a stupid fever so easily! I'll get well again and we can go out to movies, to the park, to the ice cream parlor––do the things that normal teenagers do when they begin dating. I want nothing more than to make her happy! I love her! She knows that!

There was another voice far away… calling to her. I saw her turn in the direction of the voice for two seconds, and when her eyes met mine again I was filled with this unquenchable pain and fear.

Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. She was leaving me? Where was she going? Will she come back? She has to come back! I don't know what I'd do without her! I'll go crazy! I'll tear the house apart in my search for her! If she's not here… she has no where else to go! She can't leave! She has to stay! Here! With me!

But she's getting up! She's leaving my bedside! Come back! Come back!

She appeared again and bent down close to my face. "I'm sorry, but I have to go…. Akito's coming."

A-Akito? NO! Why would he come _here_? What will he do to Tohru? To _us_? I can't let him get her! Is this what she was talking about? Is this why she was scared? Is this why she's leaving me? Where will she go? She has no where to go! HIDE! Where will she hide? She has to hide! She can't be found! Akito will destroy her! I can't let him get her!

"Just know that I will always love you, no matter what happens," she sobbed quietly. She kissed my forehead and fled from my sight, taking the light with her and abandoning me in darkness.

'_No matter what happens'_? What did that mean? I didn't understand…. Why was Akito coming? Where was she going? Was she hiding? Or was she…

"Don't leave me… Tohru? Tohru? Where did you go? Come back. Please, Tohru, come back."

I tried to get out of bed, but a hand appeared from out of the grey, lightless clouds that surrounded me and pushed me down. I felt like I was falling. _Falling_…. I grabbed the hand that pushed me down, holding onto it for dear life. I couldn't let go. I didn't know what would happen. I couldn't allow myself to fall into the bottomless pit. I had to struggle, to fight for my life. I get to find Tohru!

"What happened? Where did you go? Tohru?" I cried out.

The clouds parted and thick black storm ones came churning in, curling around the figure that held me down.

"Calm down Kyo; you're tossing is making it hard for me to examine you."

_Hatori?_ The clouds thinned slightly and the doctor stood before me, holding me down. "What's happening? Where'd Tohru go?" I demanded. I gripped his wrist so tightly, he tried to free himself. I could see fear in his eyes as he stared back down at me. I noticed I was breathing unusually hard. I let go of his hand and tried to calm myself. Hatori was trying to help me, not destroy me. I let him go on with his examinations.

"He's been muttering incoherently since I checked up on him this morning. The only thing that he says that makes any sense is: _'Where's Tohru? What happened? Where did she go?'_" Shigure said somewhere off in the haze. He sighed, "No doubt he's gotten himself sick over her. When she didn't come home that night during the storm, he went out looking for her and didn't come back. Yuki-kun and I found him in cat form the following morning up in a tree, soaking wet, covered in mud, and in disillusion. He wouldn't tell us what happened at the _Honke_ (_**A/N**: Sohma Estate_) and none of us knew what happened to Tohru-kun."

Tohru… didn't come home? I came on my own? Was everything… just a dream then? Hatori freeing us of the curse, running away in the rain, making love in the abandoned house, coming back home together, being together—was all that just a dream I had?

Hatori finished examining me and prepared a needle to inject me with.

"She was disposed of."

I went rock cold. That voice belonged to only one person and one person alone.

_Akito…_

"No…" I murmured, jerking my arm out of Hatori's grasp just as he was about to inject the needle. "Tohru!" I cried out as the needle accidentally jabbed me in the arm.

"Kyo! Settle down!"

Shigure came and pinned my shoulders down on my bed, only it didn't appear to me to be Shigure. It was a black demon with dog-like qualities: a long muzzle with razor sharp teeth snarled at me with drool dripping from his fangs; his hands, like scaly talons, pressed me down into the mud; his breath, like fire exploding from a volcano, burned my face, causing me to choke, unable to breathe. I screamed, coughed and panted, struggling to escape, but I couldn't.

"Let go of me! I have to find Tohru!"

"She's gone Kyo," Akito's voice wavered over as he descended down to me with his long, thin fingers and brushed strands of loose orange hair from my face. His sneering eyes were black with red pinprick pupils that bore into my head with malevolence. His skin was a pale dead grey covered with scales and ashes. He touched my chin with his needle-like finger nails, drawing my eyes to lock onto his. I was growing weaker. It was as if, while I was staring into his eyes, he was stealing my soul and I should soon be dead. "She's gone forever," he jeered, grinning to himself, "and you're never going to see her again." He stopped touching my hair and lowered his face mere inches away from mine. "EVER." He touched my temple with one of his long, bony skeleton needle fingers and a spark of that horrible memory of my mother stabbing herself filled my clouded mind.

"Remember our deal. Don't ever forget who you are," he whispered loud enough so that only I could hear. "Baka Mono."

And then I fell unconscious.


	11. When Two Hearts Must Part

**Chapter 10**

**When Two Hearts Must Part**

Tohru hid in the attic keeping perfectly still among the dusty clutter around her. She hardly dared to move. Her joints were stiff but she hardly noticed the intense pain shooting through her limbs. The only thing she felt was the dull ache in her chest. She was afraid that if she moved the floor would creak or she would accidentally bump into something and it would fall to the floor with a terrible crash––which would alert Akito of her presence upstairs. She couldn't let that happen!

Within hours it felt like, Yuki came up to free her. His head popped up from the attic opening, and he looked around the dusty room for her. "Akito's gone. You can come down now." He found her sitting like a stone on the floor, wedged between two boxes with an inch of dusty film coving their surfaces, without the slightest desire to move. She had her legs clutched up against her chest with her forehead slumped on top of her knees. She was so still, he wasn't sure if she was a statue or not. Both puzzled and concerned, he asked, "Are you okay, Honda-san?"

"Hai," she replied motionlessly, though she didn't feel okay. She was sick with worry and guilt, blaming herself for Kyo's illness. She should have known that letting him sit up on the roof alone for such a length of time without a jacket in the unusually cold wind would result in illness. She should have taken into account that he was still weak from the previous night's storm. She blinked back tears of shame in remembrance of her actions when she allowed herself to give into the pleasures caused by temptations. She was a fool to let herself go without so much as a responsible hesitation. It was her fault––_her fault_––that the boy she loved with all of her heart and soul was gravely ill because of her carelessness.

"What's the matter?" Yuki asked with sincere worry. He climbed up through the opening and, hunched up like an old hermit because the ceiling was slow, walked over to her. "Have you fallen ill too?"

She shook her head still on her knees, silently telling herself that she shouldn't let Yuki worry about her. He had always been a kind and thoughtful friend to her; she didn't want to cause him trouble too. She forced a subdued smile onto her face and turned up pale face up to reassure him. "I'll be fine Yuki-kun once Kyo-kun gets better." She looked away sheepishly. "It's just… I was so shocked and scared that Akito would find me, I… I haven't had a chance to recover yet."

This was partially true, so Yuki merely nodded his handsome head, though her explanation didn't cease to worry him.

He helped her up by the pulling of her clamming hands and, with one of her hands still in his, led her to the ladder that would take them to the hallway on the second floor. Shigure was climbing up the stairs to the second floor from the main floor as Yuki helped Tohru from the attic.

"Maaa… that was a close one, Tohru-kun!" exclaimed Shigure in a dramatically tired voice. "We were so close to losing you––and then where would we be? In a filthy mess, eating take-out all day––everyday no less!"

Yuki stared at his older cousin dully, no doubt thinking that he was an over-dramatic, perverted idiot. He was, however, surprised to see his guardian's mood change to one of concern when Tohru still appeared very pale and almost to the point of crying. Shigure stepped over to Tohru and gently placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"What the matter, Tohru-kun? You don't look well," he commented, looking down at her sympathetically. "Maybe you should go lie down for a bit."

"Shigure-san…" she murmured, her large watering eyes stared up into his. Suddenly, and without hesitation, she burst into tears and flung her arms around him, sobbing uncontrollably. There was a "_POOF_" as the dog emerged in the arms of the distressed girl as the mist cleared. The inu sat up stock still in surprise, but loosened after a few moments as the shock passed.

"I-It's 'sall my f-fault!" she sobbed softly into the big, black dog's pointed ears. "It's 'sall my fault that h-he got s-sick! I sh-should've known––_I should've known!_"

The two Sohmas were quiet as she sobbed all of her pain out from her battered heart. When she slowed down to sniffles and the odd hiccup, Shigure finally spoke after she released her hold on him.

"People fall ill, Tohru-kun," said the noir dog. "It's part of being Human. Everyone gets sick now and then, even Kyo-kun. It's not like he's going to die. He'll be fine in a couple of days, you'll see."

"He's right, Honda-san," Yuki added, placing a gentle hand onto Tohru's shoulder. "It's not your fault; these things happen. If anything, it's his own fault for not putting on a jacket sooner in the first place."

"Yuki-kun, don't say that," Shigure warned darkly. He stood up on all four paws and trotted out of the hallway and downstairs into his room where he would change.

Tohru felt a little better, but still not enough to stop blaming herself. "I think… I think I'll go lay down for a bit now," she mumbled, turning to go to her room.

Yuki watched painfully as she disappeared from sight. He didn't know what to do that might make her feel better. It wasn't fair that that baka neko got her affections and not he. Seeing her in pain over him made him even angrier at the stupid cat, but he couldn't change her feelings. He'd learned that much. But still… it hurt him to see her in so much pain and there wasn't anything he could do to comfort her.

Tohru had only gotten half an hour's worth of rest when the phone rang. Downstairs (on the main floor), Shigure was just turning on his computer when he picked up the phone.

"Moshi moshi, Sohma Shigure here."

"Shigure, is Tohru still over there?"

Shigure's bleak mood brightened. "Haa-san! So good of you to call!"

Hatori's voice developed an annoyed tone. "Look Shigure, this is no time for jokes. If Tohru is still there, I need to talk to her. Right now."

Shigure sobered up quickly. "She's a little distressed and is taking a nap right now, but if it's important, I'll go wake her."

Shigure stood up from his office chair and walked out of his study. He swiftly walked down the main hallway, up the stairs to the second floor, down that hallway, and turned to Tohru's room. Her door was shut, so he rapped on it gently.

"Tohru-kun? It's Shigure with Haa-san on the phone. He wants to talk to you. Are you decent?" _(**A/N**: LOL! XD! Sorry, I couldn't resist myself ;P)_

Shigure heard a muffled "Hai" inside and proceeded to open the bedroom door softly. He peered inside to see Tohru resting on her stomach with her face buried in her pillow. When she looked up, Shigure cringed at the sight of her red face and swollen eyes. He concluded that she hadn't been napping, but crying. He handed her the phone and she took it with trembling hands.

"Ha-Hatori-san?" Her voice shook as well as her hands. She was afraid that Hatori had bad news about Kyo's condition.

Hatori responded, "Are you okay, Tohru? You don't sound well…"

She wiped her nose and forced a bit of cheerfulness into her voice, which only succeeded in making her sound all the more pathetic. "I'm fine, thank you. Demo… will Kyo-kun be okay?"

"I have no doubt that he will be; you needn't get so upset about his health."

"Hai," she snuffled, relieved that Kyo wasn't going to have the same fate as her father.

"However," Hatori continued, "I am very concerned about your safety. Akito might suddenly decide to pay Shigure a surprise visit and I won't be able to warn you ahead of time. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Tohru didn't; he wasn't clear enough. But she didn't like the feeling of what he was hinting at.

Hatori sighed, "I hate to be the one to say this, but I think it might be better if you stayed with someone else for a bit."

Tohru froze, nearly dropping the phone on the ground.

"You're not safe there. I'm suggesting that you stay with a friend until things cool down a bit. After things blow over, you can return to Shigure's. You need to get out of there as soon as you can."

She started crying again, nodding her head as silent tears seeped down her cheeks.

"It's the best thing for everyone. I'm sorry. Just remember that we all care about you and wish only the best for you. Be careful," he concluded.

And with that, he hung up.

"Tohru-kun?" Shigure took the phone from her shaking hands, worry reflected in his eyes as he watched her tremble all over.

Her lips quivered as she fought back the urge of crying. "He's right," she muttered quietly. She hung her head, wringing her hands together on her lap. "The best thing for me to do is leave. But I…"

Shigure watched helplessly as she began to sob, not daring to question her further.

Ten meters away, Tohru stared up at the house that had been her home for a full year. The sky was thick and grey with rolling storm clouds. It had been drizzling all morning, and as Tohru stood like a mere shadow of a living being, it began to rain. She clutched the umbrella in her white hand and turned away from the house. She wasn't sure how long she'd be gone, but she hoped it wasn't forever.

Shigure stood in the doorway of the house, watching her leave. Yuki couldn't bear the pain of saying goodbye to her, but he found himself watching her go from an upstairs window.

With Tohru gone, the Sohma house would be filled with much sadness.

Tohru had left no phone number and no address for them to contact her. If there was no evidence of her returning that night her "memory was erased", then there was no chance of her being found by Akito.

She stood in silence as the rain pelted down on her umbrella. In a few moments, the front door opened and she bowed very low to the person standing there.

"I am at your mercy."


	12. Never Again

**Chapter 11  
****Never Again**

The next morning was rainy as well. A grey carpet had permanently settled over the city, it felt like. Yuki found Tohru staring bleakly out the hallway window at the school. He needed to talk to her, but he wasn't sure as to how he should approach her because she looked sad and lost. He didn't know what to make of the situation. Her eyes seemed to look through the window and through the bleak and dreariness of the world outside. She didn't hear him as he stepped up beside her, and she didn't see his reflection next to hers in the glass. He touched her shoulder gently as he said, "Honda-san?"

Her reaction both troubled and surprised him.

She swerved around with eyes as large as a doe's caught blinded in the headlights of a speeding car. Before he could react to her strange expression and behaviour, she took off like a bullet, running hastily down the hallway without looking back.

He stared, transfixed by her abrupt exit. "Honda-sa..."

Tohru ripped down the hallways before crashing to a stop. Well, actually she did crash… right into Arisa Uotani's bouncy chest.

"Whoa there Tohru! What's the hurry?"

Tohru fell on her hands and knees at Uo-chan and Hana-chan's feet. Her eyes were still large as saucers when she realized what had happened. She had mistaken Yuki for Akito! '_Yuki-kun must be so confused now!' _she thought despairingly.

"Tohru?" Uo asked in a concerned voice, lowering herself down to get a look at Tohru's face.

Hana remained quiet, puzzling silently to herself the sudden change in Tohru's waves. Something happened to Tohru during the long weekend.… Something big...

'_I can't let Uo-chan and Hana-chan worry about me too!'_ Tohru silently told herself. She plastered a big, fake smile on her face and pulled herself up from the ground. She scratched the back of her head, grinning stupidly at her friends. "Ah! I'm sorry Uo-chan! I wasn't watching where I was going and I didn't see you there! Gomen nasai!"

Uo's eyebrow rose as she looked down at her short friend. Tohru certainly hadn't been watching where she was going… but why did she look like she was about to cry before? Uo noticed Hana's contemplating look and her uneasy silence. Why did she feel like Tohru wasn't being honest and completely true to her? There was something else… something Tohru didn't mention…

Something she didn't want to mention….

"I-I was just in a hurry to get to the bathroom. Classes are going to start soon and I wanted to go before the bell rang. So I'll see you two later!" Tohru replied, hurrying off quickly before her friends could stop her to question her further.

"I don't like this," Hana murmured distantly to Uo.

"You're telling me," Uo muttered grumpily. "Something's up. That wasn't her usual happy smile she gave us."

"Yes… and her waves are different today."

Uo regarded Hana with a questioning look. "How so?"

"I'm not sure," was all Hana would say for the time being because at that moment, Yuki ran up to them, panting a little bit. He looked a bit haggard, causing Uo and Hana to exchange quick glances. What would make the Prince come running over to them looking so upset as to give him an asthma attack if he wasn't more careful?

"Have you seen Honda-san?" he asked.

"Yeah, she just went to the bathroom. Why do you want to know?" Uo demanded, studying Yuki sceptically with narrowed eyes.

Yuki looked a little nervous at Uo's cold look. "I just wanted to talk to her about yesterday…"

"Yesterday?" Uo looked even more suspicious about him, believing that he was the cause of Tohru's strange behaviour and "waves" that Hana mentioned were different than before. "What exactly happened to you two yesterday? You two and Orangey skipped school and that's something that Tohru would never do willingly."

"Yes," Hana piped in with a quiet, reserved voice. "What _did _you do to make Tohru-kun's waves change so suddenly?"

"Eh?" Yuki was puzzled. _'Wouldn't Honda-san's friends know what's going on if she is living with them?'_ He thought that Tohru had moved in with one of them… it never occurred to him that she would move elsewhere. "Didn't Honda-san tell you?"

"Tell us what? We just bumped into her briefly before she ran off to go to the bathroom," Uo retorted, folding her arms impatiently across her chest.

"Honda-san moved out of Shigure-san's house yesterday. I thought she moved in with one of you two and-"

"WHAT?" Uo exclaimed loudly, causing a few students to look at the three of them briefly before continuing on their way. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE MOVED OUT? WHERE THE HELL IS SHE STAYING NOW?" She lunged at Yuki to grab hold of his collar and shake some answers out of him, but Hana held her back.

"Don't be so rash, Arisa," Hana told her calmly. "Obviously something has come up and not even Sohma-kun knows what's going on. He wants answers just as much as we do. We'll talk to Tohru-kun about it later and I'm sure she will tell us everything. She just hasn't had the chance to yet."

Uo nodded, calming herself down as quickly as possible. "Yeah, you're right Hanajima. Sorry Yuki, sometimes I react too rashly without thinking first."

Yuki merely nodded hesitantly, thinking about how similar she was to Kyo.

"This news about Tohru's change in residence is sudden; why did she move out?" Hana inquired him.

"Yeah, and what about Kyo? Does he know where she might have moved to?" Uo asked.

"I don't sense his waves today. Did he not come to school today as well?"

Yuki didn't know what to say; they were asking a lot of questions. Didn't they just say that they would talk to Tohru about everything later? His gaze shifted between the two of them, not sure who to answer first as they were both staring at him impatiently. The bell rang to alert students that classes would start in five minutes. When Uo and Hana didn't budge from their stances, he knew he would have to tell them quickly because they wanted to know at that moment and they didn't care if it would make them late for class either. "Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to Honda-san about," he told them.

"Oh?" questioned Uo, raising her eyebrow at him "Spill it Prince Charming."

"Yes, do tell us what you know," Hana agreed.

"Yeah, Tohru's just going to tell us later when you tell her anyway."

"Well…" Yuki began, feeling a little edgy and wishing he could just runaway to class without having to face their glowering eyes that dug deep into his very being, searching him out for all the secrets he held, any longer. "Well, it's about Kyo. Tohru and I both skipped school yesterday because he fell really ill. Tohru had to leave because…" He trailed off, not knowing what to say that would spoil his family secret.

Uo, catching him trailing off, persisted, "Because…?"

"Because…" he sighed, giving in a little, "we were afraid for her safety. The head of our family doesn't know she's living with us and…"

He looked away uneasily in their hard stares. "And we think he might do something terrible to her if he found out she was living with us, so we asked her if she could stay with someone else until we smoothed things over with the head of our family. And the bad part is…" his eyes trailed to his feet, "Kyo's illness worsened last night and he had to be admitted to the hospital."

"Oh my…" Hana murmured, looking over Yuki's shoulder. "Tohru-kun?"

Yuki's eyes bulged as he whirled around, Uo's gaze followed the other two's as they saw Tohru standing there about eight feet away, trembling with tears ready to spill down her cheeks.

"Tohru?"

"Honda-san?"

Tohru bit down on her quivering lip, turned, and ran away in the direction she came from. Hana was first to come to her senses and chased after her. Tohru ran down the hallway and turned down another where the girls' bathroom was just around the corner. Hana trailed her into the bathroom and stopped short as the door closed behind her, shutting them off from the rest of the world outside.

"Tohru-kun?" Hana asked, walking toward Tohru, deeply concerned and worried.

Tohru, whose back was facing Hana, slumped her shoulders forward, burying her face in her hands. "It's all my fault…" Hana heard Tohru mutter between her slender fingers. "If I hadn't moved back in with Grandpa… Kyo would be fine. He would have gotten better. It's all my fault his illness worsened…"

Tohru turned around to face Hana, her eyes gazed into Hana's painfully. A silver tear rolled gently down her cheek. She ran into Hana's arms, burying her face in Hana's shoulder. "It's all my fault," she whispered faintly to her friend.

Hana felt Tohru break in her arms. She held her helplessly, uncertainly, as her friend burst into tears, shaking all like a limp leaf wavering in the wind before it fell to the ground.

…

The days dragged on and after a full week of school without Kyo's presence led Tohru to fear the worst. She had been living with her Grandfather and his family, and although she was grateful that they took her in again, she was very unhappy and no longer tried to cover up her depression with a dull grin. She lived through each day without a smile, living it as best as she could, and still couldn't bring herself to smile she had after her mother died. She had lost another person she had grown to love, and he too was suffering because of her whereas her mother died because of her. Her guilt was dragging her down and she was no longer able to pull herself back to her feet.

Yuki, who had been avoiding confrontation with Tohru, regretfully watched Tohru from a distance. She was no longer cheerful and was prone to burst into tears at the most unexpected times. Whenever he had caught her eye, he would turn away and quickly hurry away before she could question him. He blamed himself for her growing distress, but he was only trying to spare her more grief, for surely she would have a mental breakdown beyond recovery if he told her the truth.

Uo and Hana had become more sensitive and over-protective of Tohru after seeing her cry on the first day without Kyo. They hardly ever left her alone and always made sure one of them was present with her at all times.

By the end of the first day, Yuki had already missed Honda Tohru's smile.

…

On the eighth day, on behalf of Akito, Sohma Hatori stopped by the high school on important business regarding Sohma Kyo. He asked the secretary before he left if he could speak briefly to Honda Tohru… privately. The secretary nodded her head, eager to help the handsome (although stern-looking) doctor before calling Honda Tohru down to the office over the PA system. She smiled cheerfully at the doctor, with a smile that slowly wavered into a small frown when he did not return hers with a kind smile of his own.

Tohru entered the office with her heart in her throat. The secretary pointed ruefully to a closed door where Hatori waited to speak with her alone. Tohru, frantically trying to remember if she paid her month's school fee, entered slowly into the little office and was surprised to find Hatori there to speak to her.

"Have a seat Honda-kun," he told her.

She nodded obediently without a word and sat down on a chair in front of the desk Hatori was sitting at. He stood up and proceeded to pace behind the desk slightly, glancing at Tohru every so often. Tohru, sensing his uneasiness, felt nervous like she had the first time she went to see him in the office alone. "I'm going to be brief with you," he said calmly, although not happily, "because Akito is expecting me to be back soon." He sighed, pausing briefly to look at Tohru sadly.

She saw pity in his eyes, and wished that she could do something, anything, that could turn everything around. He continued, "The good news is that Kyo is perfectly healthy now. He's recovered, although personally, I believe he would have healed faster if you had been the one looking after him. Never-the-less, I'll get straight to the bad news."

Tohru was very happy to know that Kyo was well again. That meant he would come back to school soon and she could see him again. But she didn't like the sound of this "bad news". Her stomach churned in worry.

"Although he's perfectly healthy now, you won't be seeing him anymore."

The world sudeenly caved in on her.

"A-Ano?" she stammered, clearly upset by this news.

Hatori continued, trying not to look her in the eye. "Akito's transferred him into an all boy's boarding school. I'm sorry Honda-kun, I don't think you'll get to see Kyo again. Once he graduates, Akito will immediately pull him from the school and place him where the cat is always doomed to live: he will be caged for the rest of his life."

Tohru could feel herself spinning. Everything around her was becoming a blur. She fell forward in her seat; her teary eyes wide in horror; her hand clutched her chest. Images of Kyo flashed in her mind: Kyo crashing through the roof the first time she met him, Kyo's stunned face when she told him she loved the cat of the Juunishi, Kyo excitedly telling her about Shishou on the roof, Kyo getting flustered, Kyo kissing her softly…

'_I can't breath!'_ Tohru's mind screamed in a panic.

"Honda-kun?" Hatori was by her side in an instant when he saw all the colour leave her face. He could hear her gasping for air as she was bent forward. "Honda-kun, are you alright?" he asked in concern. When she didn't respond, he felt her forehead.

When she felt his touch, she calmed herself down a little bit and murmured, "Hai." However, she was unable to look at him anymore. She couldn't stand to be there anymore.

Still dizzy, she quickly excused herself and ran out of the office. The bell rang for classes to end and soon the hallways were bustling with laughing and shouting students. No one noticed Tohru slip silently into the girl's bathroom.

Surrounded in her quiet solitude, she buried her face in her hands. At first, all she could think about were the horrible things Hatori told her.

'_I'll never see him again…'_

The truth was too much for her to bear. She burst into tears, sobbing loudly. She felt warm, comforting arms embrace her as she trembled all over. She just stood in Hana's arms, crying, "I just want to see him again!"

Hana tried her best to console her, but not even she could stop her own silent tears from trickling down her cheeks as she felt Tohru's unbearable pain.


	13. The Monster Unleashed

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Slight 'R' rating for this chapter, just to be on the safe side. (original 2005 posting)_

**Chapter 12  
****The Monster Unleashed**

My copper eyes twitched; one after the other. I glanced, disgruntled, at the pile of papers already an inch thick in the folder across the table. I had only been there for three weeks now, and already my name was known throughout the building and I had eight charges of assault on my record. Really, there were only three fights, but they were against more than one person and they all placed charges even though they were the ones who started the fights. I hardly noticed the dull throbbing ache in my knuckles or the fresh bruise on my cheek below the black eye I got five days ago. The headmaster of the boarding school turned in his chair to face me with three more charges against me in his hands.

He looked over the rim of his wire framed glasses and glared at me with coal black eyes. He was a little man with a big head (both physically and metaphorically speaking) and a sharp little nose with a mole on the side. He was balding and by the time he would be fifty (in a couple of years) he would have a shiny ping-pong ball for a head with a black ring of hair around his skull. He cleared his throat and croaked, "This is the second time this week, Sohma-san."

He regarded me closely to see how I would react. My eyes merely twitched again. He only still referred to me as "Sohma-san" because I told him that I hated being addressed so formally. When I told him it made my blood boil, he stopped. However, when I first started causing problems, he took up the formalities again just to piss me off. Last time I almost gave him a black eye, but I didn't want to go back to the "quiet room" again, so I held myself down.

Not only was this an all-boys' boarding school, but it also had a small "correctional" facility in the west-wing where the white rooms turn red in the setting sun's bloody glow. I'd been there three times already during my short stay here, all because of the three fights I had. The rooms alone were enough to turn anyone crazy.

Or suicidal.

The headmaster's beady black eyes broke their piercing hold on mine as he carefully tucked the three new assault charges into my file folder.

"This has got to stop, Sohma-san," he said unnervingly.

"I didn't start them," I muttered stubbornly. "I never start them; I merely-"

"Finish them; yes I know. And you do a fine job at that, Sohma-san," he responded with sarcasm, "but I don't think you need to knock each and every tooth out of their mouths in the process."

"They asked for it," I replied coldly.

He stared at me hardly. "I know, Sohma-san, but it's still quite unnecessary in the act of self-defence. I'm afraid that we will have to take some more serious, _drastic _measures in order to stop this. You've become a danger to others and yourself."

I snorted, fingering the beads around my wrist.

'_You have no idea.'_

...…...

The following morning I awoke from another dream of _her_.

Tohru.

I was holding her in my arms under the blindingly bright sunlight. There was a tree with a bench sitting under it; the tree had lost nearly all of its bright red and orange leaves. For some reason, we were crying.

I had woken up feeling warm and almost happy.

Almost.

I instinctively licked the scab below my wrist where my beads rested. I only had myself to blame for that. Sure, I had reason to be where I was, but the cut on my wrist was purely my own fault.

Soon the door to my pitch-black cell opened and a man threw a towel in my face. "Get up and clean up," he grunted.

Curled up in a ball on the damp stone floor, like a cat trapped at the bottom of a well, I yawned and rubbed my eyes sleepily. I would have stretched, taken the time to unwind every single kink in my strained body, but the man that tossed the towel in my face pulled me to my feet and pushed me toward the public bath.

The school's bath was one big steaming swimming pool. Located in the basement of the school (as was the location of the cell I spent the night in), everyone was supposed to bathe there. There was always one teacher supervising the bath, but only in such emergency cases for drowning. In the bath, anything goes. Anything. The teachers turn a blind eye on everything. They really don't care if you're being towel-whipped or have shampoo squirted in your eye. They don't give a damn unless you're drowning; drowning is the one and only time they will intervene.

The guys always asked me why I wore my bracelet. Like I would tell them the truth! They first noticed it when I went into the bath, wondering why I didn't take it off. When I first arrived here, when no one knew who I was, I told them that a girl I made a promise to long ago gave it to me. I told them that she was always being bullied, so I told her I'd protect her. In exchange for protection, she made me this beaded bracelet that would "ward off demons and bad luck". The guys bought this sap story, and laughed off my "if you ever talk shit about her, I'll beat the living crap out of you!" threat. A week later, a guy was trying to give me a hard time, so he spoke ill of Tohru (the girl I'd sworn to protect), calling her "easy" and "loose". It was the first time anyone tried to personally piss me off. I tried to shake it off, but when he lunged for the beads, I knew I could not just stand back in the shadows and let them expose my other form. That happened here, in the bath, and thus began the series of fights and assault charges.

My attendant, who was really a teacher taking the next supervising shift, pushed me into the deserted change room and ordered me to "change and dip". I heard him and shed my clothes quickly, looking forward to the warm, soothing water. I pushed open the change room door and entered the steaming bathing area. The tropical-like air hit me like a tidal wave, but I welcomed it as an awakening change from the damp, cold air of the cell I had spent the night in. Along with the heat wave blew dozens of voices: laughing, shouting, yelling and gurgling mixed with splashing water.

'_I'm not going to be here long,'_ I told myself silently, walking toward the big hot pool. _'It's just in and out-no problems should come of it.'_

I walked down the steps that led into the water, sighing contently by it's soothing warmth. A few guys saw me coming and hurried to the other side of the pool, whispering sharply to each other and shooting nervous glances at me. Didn't bother me. I never liked the guys here anyway. All I wanted was to be left alone. I never even wanted to be here.

I dipped my head into the therapeutic water. The heat relaxed my strained muscles and calmed my mind and soul. When I opened my eyes, I saw this punk named Suguru and four of his equally delinquent lackeys. The sneer on Suguru's face proved that trouble was coming.

I groaned inwardly. _'Can't a guy have a moment's peace without first resorting to kicking some punk's ass?'_

"Hey Sohma," Suguru chanted, "want some shampoo?"

"Shampoo?" All of my stuff was still up in my room. I had no shampoo, conditioner or soap with me as I just came from the cell with only the towel the teacher threw at me. I knew that if I wasn't careful, I could end up in a whole lot more trouble with these guys.

"Yeah, here," Suguru smirked, tossing the bottle into my hands, "have some."

'_This is a prank. They're just trying to piss you off so you can get into more trouble.'_

Sure enough, each pair of their eyes glanced at the bottle in my hands and grinned. I cautiously opened it-while appearing casual to their eyes-and took a whiff of the contents without bringing the bottle closer to my face. In one swift motion, I snapped the lid and tossed it back at them.

"Sorry, I'm not into baking soda and vinegar in my shampoo," I told them coldly. I turned and pulled myself out of the pool. I'd wash myself some other time, when no one else was in the pool: during class. For now, I had to leave before Suguru cause me more trouble.

"Hey Sohma!"

'_Not happening,'_ I thought at the idea of avoiding conflict. I stopped, dripping naked by the pool side. Turning around to face the dork and his buddies, I flexed my muscles as I crossed my arms in front of my chest stubbornly. If it was a fight they wanted, they might as well get a good look at what they were dealing with.

"I don't have time for this Suguru," I grumbled, "just tell me what you want and be done with it. Or would you rather I publicly castrated you with my bare hands?"

'_Not that I even want to go _there _with my hands!'_

I cracked my knuckles, flexing my muscles that rippled beneath my skin once again to intimidate them, while inwardly shuddering again about going down there.

If he had been by himself, he would have taken off with his hands covering his groin. However, he received encouraging nods and glances from his buddies, not to mention he had an image and reputation to maintain as well.

"You talk pretty big, Sohma, but deep down you're just a coward; a big old scaredy-cat," he jeered.

'_Is it that obvious that I'm the cat? Jeez, it's always my luck…'_

"Whatever. When you got some balls and wanna start something, you can come and pick a fight with me later when you're wearing pants. You got nothing I wanna see," I grumbled.

Suguru started making nasty cat-calls when I turned my back and left the bath. I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around my waist, leaving the pool area and change room. It was white and soft, but it reminded me of the thin dusty sheet I tied around my waist in the abandoned house with Tohru. Her heat, her smell, her touch-I remembered all of it… even if it was a dream. And a dream it was because it was too good to have ever be real. It could have never been real.

'_Ah shit!'_ I kicked a trash can over angrily, spilling its contents onto the floor. _'Why can't I get her out of my head?'_

The day we went to see Akito-four weeks ago, if I remembered correctly-was the last time I saw her. I mean, I saw her in dreams after that, but they were only that-dreams. In my fevered state when I was ill, I dreamed we ran away from the Honke during the most horrible storm of the year and hid in an abandoned house where we…

'_Dammit!'_ I slammed my fist into a wall, cursing my blushing cheeks.

I heard voices ahead around a corner and quickly dashed into the closest room, which happened to be a bathroom.

'_I can't let people see my weakness!'_

I looked around at my surroundings and walked in front of one of the sinks. I stared back at my bare-chested reflection in the mirror. The dark purple bruises on my cheek and my eye stood out hauntingly against my red face.

'_I can't blush! They'll know I'm weak!'_

My hands hastily turned on the cold water from the tap and splashed some on my flushed face to cool it down. I looked back at my glistening face in the mirror-the face of a monster.

'_It's my fault we're not still together. I sent her away. If we didn't go to see Akito, she wouldn't have sacrificed herself,'_ I thought darkly. I glared at my reflection with loathing. _'It's your own fault that she's gone. It's your fault you're here. You ruined everything!'_

The eight o'clock bell rang, warning the students that classes started in half an hour. It was a bell that meant, "it you haven't risen, you should," and "if you haven't eaten breakfast, now's the time". The thought of food reminded me of Tohru's home-cooked meals, which were way better than the slop they fed us here. I'd give anything just to eat her food again….

I splashed some more cool water on my face before exiting and walked down the hallways in my towel to my room to put some clothes on.

...…...

School was out at three o'clock. As soon as the bell rang, I was out those front doors and wandering around the courtyard for a quiet place to sit and think. I never could stand being cooped up in a house all day. Besides, it was never quiet in there and the kids were always watching me in fear of me bursting into a monster for no reason. The funny part is, they're closer than they think-especially when they're trying to get my bracelet off.

There was a ten foot tall concrete wall surrounding the boarding school. I walked toward the front entry gates-prison bars in comparison-and pressed my cheeks against their cool surface.

'_How much longer will I be imprisoned here?'_

I knew it would be the remainder of my life because as soon as I graduated from high school through this boarding school, I'd be locked away in the cat's cage forever.

'_I'll never be free again…'_

"Hey Sohma!"

I heard the soft crunching of shoes on gravel approaching me; I turned and saw Suguru and his gang walking toward me from twenty feet away. The sneers on all five of their faces made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up on end. Suguru's eyes and mine locked coldly.

'_And so it comes to this… and it hasn't even been 24 hours since my last fight.'_

"You think you're real tough, don't you Sohma?" Suguru jeered, cracking his knuckles. The two pairs of lackeys on both of this sides cracked their knuckles as well. "Once we're done smashing your face in, we'll see just how tough you really are."

"Is that supposed to scare me?" I cracked my neck from side to side. "Just what I need," I growled, "more punks trying to beat me." I cracked my knuckles. "And not only are they pathetic, but their threats are down-right degrading."

"You say that now," Suguru sneered, "but you don't know who you're dealing with. This is my school and we don't want you here."

"HA! That's funny because I don't even want to be here!"

"Hey, check out his girly bracelet!" the guy on Suguru's left laughed, jabbing Suguru sharply on the side with his elbow.

"Yeah, I heard about that bracelet," the other guy on Suguru's left said. "Apparently lover-boy here had a girlfriend."

"And he still wears it, even in the bath," declared one guy on Suguru's right. "What a pansy!"

They laughed. "Maybe we aught to take it off for him?" Suguru suggested, his voice dripping with venom.

"Yeah," said the first guy to point out my bracelet, "and I've been dying to rip it off for him."

"Over my dead body," I hissed.

He reached for my wrist, and calmly, I slapped his reaching arm away. He glared at me and I glared back. He dove in faster now, and faster yet, I slapped him away.

"NANI YO?" he yelled in frustration.

I grabbed his wrist and whirled around his back, twisting his wrist as I pulled it behind him, and pressed his arm flat against his back with his elbow pointed to the sky. I pushed up as he screamed in pain. I curled my lips and hissed into his ear, "You really suck, you know that?"

"T-Teme!" he choked out when he found that he couldn't move without ripping his arm from his socket. His eyes were clamped shut, his face contorted in pain.

"Kuso!" swore the last guy on Suguru's left. He ran forward and threw himself on top of my back. Swift as a striking cobra, I released the first guy-who fell forward, groaning in pain-and flipped the second guy on my back over my shoulder, smashing him onto the first guy. They both crashed to the ground with a thud.

"You both suck balls," I declared maliciously.

The last two of Suguru's lackeys flew forward, throwing random punches at my face in hopes that one of them would hit me. Quickly blocking them and throwing perfect punches that met their targets, I battled the four while Suguru stood back and watched, no doubt studying my tactics. A hot, sticky liquid splattered on my left cheek; the blood spurted from the nose of Guy 2, which I had presently broken. He ran away, cupping his nose in his hands; blood seeped from between his fingers and left a slight trail of dots behind him in the dust.

'_One down, three more to go plus Suguru,'_ I thought, deflecting a kick to my head while taking a blow to my lower back.

'_Dammit! I'm getting distracted!'_

I drew in a controlled, calming breath after I kicked Guy 1 to the ground in a bloody, bruised heap. He didn't get up. Guy 3 and 4 had taken a break too to catch their breaths. Guy 3 rubbed his knuckles, which were sore from all the punching that was leading him nowhere, and Guy 4 wiped some blood leaking out from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. Guy 4's dark brown eyes glanced quickly at Guy 3's ice blue ones.

"Dammit! This guy's good!" the third guy grumbled to his equally failing partner.

"No shit Sherlock," Guy 4 growled back.

"I'll let you know," I said, wiping the sweat from my brow, "that my father's a martial arts master and I have a black belt in karate."

"Teme…" Guy 3 muttered under his breath.

"Run away if you wish, I don't give a damn," I remarked coldly, "or you'll end up looking like that guy there," I said pointing to Guy 1 on the ground. "Consider this your final warning."

"Kuso…" Guy 4 mumbled.

I proceeded to crack my knuckles when they refused to budge. "Very well. Don't say I didn't warn you."

I lunged at them, throwing accurate punches that left them winded and gasping for air, and kicks that knocked my opponents off their feet. The two were already exhausted when round two started; they didn't last much longer. Soon I had sent them both flying through the air before they smacked limply on the ground. Blood, sweat and dirt covered my face, and the only blood that was mine came from a small cut above my eyebrow. The fight between me and the four guys lasted a solid five minutes, but it wore me out. I had fallen out of shape since I arrived here because it was almost impossible to practise anywhere without being disturbed.

And now it was down to me and Suguru.

"I under-estimated you, Sohma. You took on four guys and still beat them with only a scratch and a couple of bruises," Suguru sneered. "But unlike them," he declared, positioning himself before getting ready to attack, "I too have a black belt in martial arts."

With that, Suguru lunged forward and began throwing punches. I blocked them as best as I could, but half of them still met their target. I staggered back, tasting a familiar metallic taste in my mouth. I spat out the blood on the ground. He was faster than I expected. He motioned for me to make the next move; I lunged forward. Our movements were swift, almost a blur. Within moments, I could feel myself wearing out. My punches were slower, and my movements to avoid his attacks were more sluggish. I could hardly catch my breath. I wasn't the only one; Suguru was panting as well.

"As… soon as… you fall… Sohma," he declared in a staggered breath, "you're bracelet… is my prize…. I'll take it… from you… and all… of your dreams too…"

"You… say that now…" I gasped, "but wait… until you get it first… which you never will!"

Violently, I punched him in the stomach before whirling around and kicking him in the face as he bent forward from the blow to the stomach. He flew over and crashed to the gravel. He stirred once before going limp. "Y-You're… an… animal… Sohma…" he groaned before collapsing.

Massaging my bloody and bruised knuckles and shaking out my hands, I panted, "I warned you… not to mess… with me."

"Sohma!"

I heard the teachers of the school calling me and running toward me across the yard. But what frightened me more was when I heard her gasp;

"K-Kyo…?"

My heart stopped.

I whirled around to the front gate and saw Tohru standing there on the other side of the bars with tears of fear and utter horror running down her cheeks.

"T-Tohru…?"

I couldn't believe it! She was here! But how…?

Why was she crying so painfully?

"K-Kyo-kun…" she sobbed. She stepped back. "How… how could you?" she wailed.

'_Shit!'_

I looked around me, at the bruised bodies that littered the ground, their blood seeping into the gravel… she saw it all!

'_No!'_

The proof was around me; the horrible truth of how ruthless I was could not be denied.

"Tohru!"

I never wanted her to see this side of me….

"Y-You're a horrible person K-Kyo-kun!"

"Tohru! I-"

'_I'm such an idiot!'_

"You're a monster!" she sobbed. Before she ran away, she shouted the words I never wanted to hear her call me;

"BAKA MONO!"

I crumpled to my knees.

'_She… didn't forget me…. That means, everything that I thought was just a delirious dream… was all real. She remembers me! And I…'_

My eyes widened in horror.

'_And I've become everything I've feared!'_

Something struck the back of my head.

Hard.

The last thought I had before my world went black was:

'_I'm a monster!'_

...…...

When I came around, I was entangled in a straight jacket in a padded white room. The sun was setting. I could tell because the red light came pouring through the single, solitary, small barred window just below the ceiling, splashing the walls in a blood red hue.

This was it.

I knew I was going to go insane. If I wasn't insane already, this room, the "quiet room", would do the trick for me.

I couldn't stand it.

The throbbing in my head was making the walls bleed before my eyes. I rolled around on the ground. There was this noise filling the room. This shrill, terrifying noise was in my ears, in my head. I hadn't realized that the sound I heard was my own screaming.

I had to get out.

I had to get out of there. This constricting jacket around me, I had to get it off me before I lost my mind.

Like a silk worm weaving a beautiful cocoon of silver thread, I wriggled around. Where was the being that took the silk away to weave cloths? Where was the person who would free me of this self-containing cocoon? I tried to free myself, wriggling, struggling, battling with myself to try and get the jacket off… but I was unsuccessful.

The room was darkening as the sun was setting.

'_I'm a monster!'_

She had seen everything. There was no hope anymore. She had found me, meaning she had remembered me; her memories weren't erased; she came looking for me, meaning she still had feelings for me; she still loved me!

But she had seen it all and ran away from me! Who knows how long she had been standing there, watching me beat those guys one by one to a bloody pulp….

'_I'm a monster!'_

Groaning in agony, I pulled my left arm from its socket, which made it possible for me to escape the jacket. Finally, I was free! I collapsed to the ground with the jacket by my side; panting, my world was spinning around me. The room was almost completely black except for the silver moonlight cascading in.

I shivered, feeling the cold, late September air chilling the marrows of my bones.

'_Tohru…'_ I thought painfully, curling up in a ball on my side, cradling my limp arm close to my chest. I began to cry softly.

'_Tohru… I'm sorry!'_

I sat up, feeling hot tears roll down my bruised cheeks. I looked down at my wrist, the beads of my bracelet reflected the little light that poured in from the window. The beads that held back the monster…

I ripped them off and whipped them across the room.

'_I'm so sorry!'_

My body mutated; my arm, which I had pulled out of its socket, hung limply by my side in my hideous form. I looked at the large claws on my one good, deformed hand.

'_Tohru, I…'_

I jammed my eyes shut and slashed my limp arm with my claws. The black blood seeped out, covering my arm and dripped on the padded white floor.

I didn't even feel the pain.

I opened my eyes and dug one of my single sharp claws deep into the soft under part of my limp arm. Blood oozed down as I sliced deeper and deeper.

'_I'm sorry Tohru…'_

Soon, my conscious being was drifting away into sleep, ultimately surrounded in thick blackness.

I couldn't stand it anymore… being who I was and all I had done…

'_I'm a monster…'_

* * *

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Don't hurt me!_

_**THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEWING!**_


	14. It All Falls Apart

**Chapter 13  
****It All Falls Apart**

Tohru reacted on instinct. She sprinted blindly down the street after witnessing the horrible things Kyo did. She wiped furiously at her tears, running in a stumbling zigzagging path. She couldn't believe he had become so savage. Why? What had happened to him to make him so bad?

She could hardly feel her feet pounding down the sidewalk or the zoom of a passing car next to her. All she could hear and feel was the beating of her heart thumping in her ears and the lurching in her stomach. She had seen things she never wanted to see the boy she loved do.

She hurtled over to a clump of bushes by the side of the road and hurled, no longer able to stomach what she had witnessed. Images of the bruised and bloody forms lying limply in the dirt around Kyo danced in her mind, making her stomach churn. Her head spun. When she felt better, she pulled her legs up to her chest and sat there in the dirt next to the bush she had thrown up in. Slowly, things started to seep in with the reality spreading throughout her mind like a tea bag in hot water, and she started to cry. She just sat there for hours, crying with no idea on what she should do next.

…

Tohru woke up the following morning to birds chirping. She pulled herself up and was about to start making her bed, when suddenly a wave of dizziness hit her at full force. She stopped what she was doing as she felt it forcing itself up her throat from her stomach. She stumbled forward, down the hallway, making it to the toilet just in time to throw up. Her legs gave out beneath her and she sank down, sitting next to the toilet. Her eyes were wide as she wiped her mouth.

'_What's wrong with me?'_

She felt her forehead. She didn't have a fever. At least, she didn't think she did. She couldn't figure it out. Not only had she not gotten her period two weeks ago, but now she was getting frequent dizzy spells and this was the second morning she threw up for seemingly no reason at all.

'_Maybe I should talk to Hatori-san.,' _she thought uneasily._ 'Maybe I have caught some kind of flu virus…'_

"Tohru!" came a knocking on the bathroom door. "Tohru, are you done in there?" Tohru's cousin asked impatiently.

Tohru glanced at the door with fear. "Ah-hai!" she replied quickly, flushing the toilet before splashing some cool water on her face. She hurried out before her cousin would suspect anything.

She trotted back to her room and carefully made her bed. She got dressed into her school uniform and was just getting ready to leave her room and make breakfast when she was hit with another dizzy spell.

'_Maybe I'm moving around too quickly and it's making me dizzy? Maybe if I slowed down, I wouldn't get so dizzy?'_

She sat on the edge of her bed, waiting for the dizziness to pass before she carefully made her way to the kitchen. She was started to feel better as she was making her breakfast, but as soon as she sat down to eat it, her delicious meal made her stomach turn. Suddenly, the sweet aroma of the food appalled her. The smell of it, even the look of it, made her want to throw up.

Tohru's cousin walked in just as Tohru pushed her meal away. "Yo, what's wrong with you're breakfast? Everything you make is so good, there must be something wrong with it."

Tohru put on a big fake smile on her face, although she looked a bit green. "No, no, no, it's really good, I'm just not as hungry as I thought I was." She laughed nervously.

Tohru's cousin eyed her suspiciously. "You're not getting sick are you?"

Tohru's phony grin broadened as her cousin raised an "I don't believe you" eyebrow. "No really," Tohru lied, "I'm just full. I have to go to school now. Bye!"

Tohru left the kitchen in a rush and put her shoes on in the doorway. She picked up her school bag and dashed outside into the bright sunlit street and walked briskly down the sidewalk to school, lost in thought.

'_What's wrong with me?' _she asked herself, unsettled. _'Why do I suddenly feel so weird?'_

Her thoughts drifted back to Kyo and she felt her eyes well up with tears. Maybe she reacted too hastily. Maybe he was protecting himself from bullies. He did seem to be by himself. But that thought didn't seem like Kyo. Kyo was always picking fights with Yuki. He was the only who usually started them. Besides, if it was self-defence, wouldn't he just knock them up and run away instead of beating them to a bloody pulp?

'_No,'_ she reminded herself, shaking her head gently, _'Kyo-kun would never run away from a fight…'_

But the memory of Kyo beating those guys until they could hardly breathe was still imprinted in her mind and was enough to make her stomach twist. She just couldn't handle to sight of it.

'_I hope he's okay…' _she found herself thinking as she turned down the main street to school.

…

"AH! I'm STARVING!" Uo grumbled loudly as she and Tohru walked to their usual meeting spot for lunch. She glanced down at her short friend following silently next to her, a down-cast look loomed on her face. Uo frowned and stopped grumbling; worrying about Tohru was all she did now. The same applied to Hanajima.

Hana was waiting for them with some homemade lunches set out in front of her on a blanket. Lately, Uo and Hana had been taking turns with making lunches to share with each other to give Tohru a break. They noticed that her health didn't seem to be very good and they only wanted to help Tohru as best as they could. However, they both agree that Tohru's cooking beat both of theirs put together, and then some.

"I made some instant noodles for us this morning," Hana said softly as Uo and Tohru sat down with her. "Although they are cold and soggy now…. I tried my best."

Uo picked up her chopsticks and poked at the soggy, limp, slimy, gooey… uh, "noodles". Hana began eating hers silently as Uo picked up a piece of noodle and stuffed it into her mouth. She made a face, but ate it anyway because she was too hungry to care whether or not it was cold and over-cooked. It would do. She looked over at Tohru; she sat there absentmindedly without even acknowledging her food. Uo reached over and poked Tohru with her chopsticks, waking her from her dazed state.

"Aren't you hungry Tohru?"

Tohru looked down at her meal in her hand, and her face paled. Was she turning green? Uo leaned forward to get a closer look.

"I… I don't feel well…" Tohru swallowed.

Hana stopped eating and watched her two friends.

Uo was very worried now. "Tohru? Are you okay?" she asked, placing a hand comfortingly on Tohru's back.

"Hai… no," Tohru mumbled quietly.

"Tohru-kun," Hana stood up and walked to Tohru's other side, "would you like us to walk you to the nurse's office?"

"EH? No, no, no, I'll be fine!" Tohru fussed, trying not to worry her friends more.

"Tohru, if you're not feeling well, it's okay to go home. You don't have to stay at school if you don't feel well," Uo said, rubbing Tohru's back comfortingly. "Besides, it would make Hanajima and I happier knowing that you're home getting well rather than forcing yourself to come to school and making things worse."

"Yes," Hana agreed, helping Tohru to her feet alongside Uo. "You're waves are really mixed up and we are both worried about your health. You wouldn't want to upset us if you made yourself worse, would you?"

Tohru shook her head, giving in, and let her friends guide her to the nurse's office.

Hana was silent the entire time. As she held Tohru's arm, she unlocked and opened up the door of her mind that she had carefully locked up a few years ago to shut out the feelings that flooded over to her like waves. Some waves were so strong, they were almost shouting at her with words. She focused her attention on Tohru and let Tohru's depressed waves rolled over her. Hana could feel Tohru's burden weighing her down. The built up worry and confusion made Hana stagger a bit. She gripped her heart and quickly slammed the door to her mind before she would collapse under the strain of Tohru's utter pain, confusion and sorrow.

'_Tohru-kun,'_ Hana thought as the three of them entered the nurse's office, _'what in this world is troubling you so much and causing you so much pain?'_

…

When Momiji heard that afternoon that Tohru went home sick at lunch, he asked Uo and Hana if they knew where Tohru was living.

"Yeah, she's staying with her relatives. Why do you want to know, pipsqueak?" Uo inquired.

"I was going to ask Ha'ri if he could take a look at her, but I wouldn't know where to send him. Tohru trusts Ha'ri and would be more willing to have a doctor look at her if it was him," Momiji replied, giving Uo a pleading look.

Uo notted his concern and understood he only wanted to help. She nodded, "Hanajima and I were going to stop by after school to see how she's doing, so you can come with us if you really want to." She looked tired with worry.

"Okay!" Momiji declared, brightening and bouncing away to his locker to get his things and change his shoes.

Uo turned to Hana. "He's a weird one."

"Yes… but he reminds me of Tohru-kun after Kyoko-san died," Hana responded, as the two of them walked to their lockers. Hana closed her eyes, off in deep thought. "There's a lot of pain and sadness underneath his cheerful exterior…."

Uo's eyes softened at the thought of such a happy-go-lucky child like him undergoing the same mental pain as Tohru. He really was like Tohru that way….

They opened their lockers and pulled out their things to take home with them. When they met up with Momiji, the three of them walked to Tohru's grandfather's house. When they were close enough to see it, Uo pointed it out to the blond boy, who bounced up and down happily and ran toward the house. The girls resumed their walk and stopped behind him when they reach him. He had stopped on the sidewalk in front of the house and stared up at it with large, sad eyes. His thoughts lingered and he didn't notice the two when they met up with him. Uo glanced at him and then at the house.

"Come on squirt," Uo said, walking forward to the front door. Hana followed and then Momiji.

Uo knocked on the door and it was answered by Tohru's cousin. When Uo inquired about Tohru, her cousin just shook her head and said, "She's sleeping right now."

"Oi, Hanajima and I brought Tohru's afternoon homework," Uo declared darkly.

"And, and, I have to give her something!" Momiji blurted out as he stepped out from behind Hana.

Tohru's cousin squealed when she saw Momiji, "Waaah! What a cute little girl!"

Momiji's face lit up gleefully. He pointed at his face, "I'm a Junge!"

"Huh?"

"I'm a boy! Hehehe."

"AW, he's so CUTE!"

Uo and Hana exchanged looks. Uo made a face, wanting to gag loudly at the unnecessary fuss. Since when did Tohru's cousin get so excited over anything cute? Uo turned back to Tohru's cousin. "So, can you give this to Tohru?" she demanded hotly, handing over a sheet with homework instructions.

Tohru's cousin's bored expression returned on her face. She sighed, snatching the paper from Uo, "I suppose so."

"And, and," Momiji exclaimed, waving a little piece of paper around in his hand that he had hidden in his pocket, "can you give this to Tohru too?"

She smiled down at him, thinking, _'This kid is so cute! How come Tohru gets to know such cute people?'_ "Sure thing little boy! Is there anything else you want me to tell cousin Tohru-chan?"

"Ja! She has to work tonight, but tell her not to worry because I'll take care of it all! And, and," he exclaimed gleefully, "Haru says that he hopes Tohru feels better soon because Yuki's all worried." He laughed childishly. "Yuki gets so flustered!"

"Okay, no problem." _'Damn Tohru! How many guys does she have chasing after her? IT'S NOT FAIR!' _"Well, I'll go give Tohru your blessings. Have a safe journey home!"

She closed the door. Momiji turned to Uo and Hana and asked, "I don't think she likes To-ru the way we do. She's the jealous type, isn't she?"

Uo and Hana nodded, glad that Momiji wasn't naïve enough to not pick up on her invisible signals.

"Well, thanks for showing me the way! I'll tell Ha'ri where she lives so he can come down here and check on her as soon as he can!" Momiji made a mental note to himself of the house number and street and hurried home.

'_I hope Ha'ri's not too busy,'_ he thought as he skipped down the sidewalk, appearing like a happy child coming home from school, even though he was deeply worried about Tohru just like the rest of her friends.

He arrived some time later at the Honke and let himself in. The other _normal _Sohma children had already arrived home from school as well and were playing together. Momiji watched them from the corner of his eyes as he made his way to the "inside". He walked to Hatori's house and knocked on the door. When he didn't answer, Momiji turned the doorknob to see if it was locked. It wasn't so Momiji let himself in. No on really locked their houses on the "inside" of the Honke during the day. They did at night, but only as a precaution. They never had problems in the past with people breaking in because there were two gates in which outsiders had to go through and only members of the Juunishi were allowed "inside". Hatori usually kept his door unlocked because he was the family doctor. Sometimes he'd be in one of his rooms with a patient that stopped by or he would be in his study where he couldn't hear any knocking on the door. He had a maid but it was only during the day when he was always out and about, but she usually got off around mid-afternoon.

Momiji poked his head inside and saw that everything looked deserted. "Ha'ri?" he shouted into the emptiness. It didn't look like he was home. Momiji walked in and checked the desk by the door to see if he had left any notes to anyone who came. There was a small note from a Sohma woman requesting that Hatori refill her prescription for her, as recorded by the maid at 12:32pm. That was all Momiji could find on the desk. He was about to write down a note as well, when he saw that the answering machine beside the lamp that was between the machine and the note paper, had a message on it. It wasn't blinking, so Momiji knew that Hatori must have gotten the message and hadn't deleted it yet.

Ever the curious one he was, Momiji played the message back for him to hear. A man's voice-an exasperated man's voice-trilled through the speakers:

"_S-Sohma Hatori-san! Come quickly to the academy! K-Kyo's gone crazy! It looked like he tried to commit suicide! There's a lot of blood…"_

Momiji gasped, covering his mouth in horror. _'Kyo?'_

"…_don't know what to do! I don't know how it happened! There wasn't a single thing near him that he could have used as a weapon! Nothing! I just went into his room this morning and-GET THESE CATS AWAY FROM HIM! WHAT THE HELL? HOW DID THEY GET IN HERE-"_

_Beeeep._

Momiji ran out of the house, down the path and was cutting through a clump of trees and bushes when he tripped and fell. He sobbed loudly once before bursting into tears. The dust that flew up from his fall collected on his wet cheeks, coating them in a grimy brown colour as it settled to the ground. He coughed as dust flew up into his mouth and nose, spitting and hacking saliva and stirring up more dust all over his arms. He sneezed finally, which made him stop crying so hard. He heard feet stepping carefully toward him. He looked up when the feet stopped in front of him, with mud coating his cheeks and under his nose, and gasped with widened eyes.

"Mo…mi…ji…chan?" she asked softly.

Seeing her in front of him made fresh tears fall. Quiet tears. He blinked in disbelief, but when she didn't vanish from his sight, he asked, "Momo?"

"Are you… okay… Momiji-chan?"

He sniffled. This was… the first time… he'd ever gotten to talk to her. He felt as though his heart would break. She was here… with him… and all he could do was cry. His tears just wouldn't stop. Somehow, she had snuck "inside", disobeying the rules, and was talking to him now like she really cared. Like she really cared about him and his safety.

Did she… know?

"Momiji-chan?" she asked, concern shone in her bright brown eyes that were exactly like his.

She bent down to comfort him, to help him up to his feet… but he just shot up suddenly and ran away without saying a word to her.

'_I'm sorry Momo! Otou-san will be mad at me if he found out! I'm sorry! I can't…'_

…

Tohru had gotten Momiji's message (which was Hatori's phone number) and called Hatori, but only got the answering machine. She knew that it would be dangerous if she left a message, so she just kept trying every ten minutes. She gave up when it was after 10pm and went to bed. She hadn't been able to sleep all day. She just laid in her bed, staring at the ceiling and crying silently to herself. Now, she was exhausted from all the crying and trying to reach Hatori that she fell into an unfit sleep.

…

_Kyo looked down at Tohru in his arms. She smiled up at him with loving eyes. "What would I ever do without you, Tohru?" he asked her; his fingers played with her hair as she listened contently to the beating of his heart as his chest rose up and down with each steady breath he took._

"_Don't say that Kyo-kun. We've come this far, nothing bad can happen to us now."_

_He kissed her gently. She felt as though she was on a cloud._

_Suddenly, she shivered as if all the warmth was ripped from her at once, and she was pulled out of Kyo's arms and flung across the floor. She cried out in pain when she landed, clutching her stomach protectively. She heard Kyo shout and looked up to see Akito holding him by the throat._

"_Kyo-kun!" she cried out._

_Tohru felt herself being restrained and she couldn't reach him when her hand grasped for him. She felt so helpless; she began to cry._

_Akito turned on her with Kyo still in his grasp. "I warned you. Didn't I warn you not to get involved with the Sohma family?" he hissed. "Do I have to show you again? Do I have to remind you what a terrible monster he is?"_

"_Let him go! Don't hurt him!" she begged, sobbing loudly._

"_How can you-" Akito pulled off Kyo's beads and released him; Kyo dropped to the ground coughing as he began to change shape, "-love a monster-" the stench filled the small room; Tohru could hardly breathe as she stared at Kyo's terrible form, "-that not even a mother can love?"_

…

Tohru woke up screaming and coughing. She felt like someone's hands had been around her neck, strangling her slowly, as if all the air left her body without being replaced with new air. She buried her face in her hands and cried. Her face felt hot to her touch. Was she getting a fever now?

Tohru's cousin ran to her bedside, alarmed by Tohru's bloodcurdling screech. "What's wrong? Are you going to throw up?" she asked, terrified at the thought of Tohru puking all over the floor or bedding.

Tohru responded by shaking her head. "I'm… I'm okay," Tohru mumbled through her hands. "I just had a nightmare, that's all."

Her cousin sighed and handed Tohru a glass of water that was sitting on her nightstand before returning to her bed. Tohru couldn't fall asleep after that. When morning came, Grandpa told her to stay in bed.

"Get well soon, Kyoko-san," he had said before closing her bedroom door closed, giving her a warm smile.

The silence aggravated her, but she eventually fell asleep. She woke up again when it was noon and Grandpa returned to her room with some soup. When he left, she tried to call Hatori, but she was still unable to reach him.

…

The next few days went on in a similar manner. Tohru stayed home from school and slept because her nights were always plagued with horrible nightmares and she was always more exhausted when morning came then when she first went to bed at night. She made frequent calls to Hatori's house, but neither one of them were answered. A woman did answer a couple times, but only to tell her that he wasn't home and that she wasn't sure when he'd be returning.

Momiji had no luck either. He ran into Hatori's maid once and she said the same thing that she had said to Tohru. "Something serious must have happened that's requiring all of his time and energy. Akito-san's not happy about his long departure too."

After a week had passed, Hatori finally returned, looking very haggard and tired. He came home late one night and went straight to bed. In the morning, he went to see Akito and spent the entire day with him. When he returned to his home by late afternoon, he met up with Momiji, who was just heading over to Hatori's house to see if he was home yet.

"Ha'ri!" Momiji cried out as he ran to Hatori.

Hatori saw the distressed looking boy run toward him without his usual silly grin on his face. He was tired, but worried none-the-less about the small boy. "What's the matter Momiji?"

Momiji looked around him, nervously. He leaned toward Hatori, as if to whisper in his ear. "Not here," he murmured, "let's go inside where we can talk privately."

There was no one around, but Hatori understood what he meant. The two of them walked into Hatori's house and he locked the door behind them. As soon as he turned to face the rabbit, Momiji burst into a series of questions.

"What happened to Kyo? Is he okay? Is everything fixed? How did he do it? Why did he do it? Is he coming home? When will he come home?"

Hatori rubbed his face, silencing Momiji with his other hand. "How do you know I was with Kyo?"

Momiji glanced guiltily at the answering machine. "I didn't tell anyone… especially Tohru. She's in bad enough shape as it is."

"Tohru?" Hatori asked in puzzlement. "What's wrong with Honda-kun?"

"She's not feeling well. She's been home sick for a week now and neither of us have been able to reach you," Momiji told him worriedly. "She hasn't been well for some time really. She's been very depressed and I think it might have something to do with her poor health. Her friends said that she almost threw up at lunch at school. Her grandfather said that she's not eating well and can't seem to keep her food down. Hana-she's Tohru's friend-said that Tohru's 'waves' are different than how they were a month ago and they seem to be getting more 'mixed up' as time progresses. I don't really understand what she meant by that, but she won't explain it to me. Ha'ri, you have to go see her!"

As if on cue, the phone rang and Hatori picked it up. "Hello?"

"_Hatori-san? Is it really you?"_

"Honda-kun? Are you feeling okay? Momiji was just telling me that you're not in the best of health," he replied.

"_Hai… I feel very weird. It's hard to describe…"_

'_Hard to describe?'_ He had an idea of what was wrong with her now, from the information Momiji gave him.

He sighed, "Where are you? I'll come over as soon as I can."

"_I'm at my grandfather's house,"_ she said, giving him the address and directions using the main roads.

He nodded, even though she couldn't see. "I'm familiar with that area. I'll be there shortly after dinner, okay?"

"_Hai! Arigato gozaimasu, Hatori-san!"_

He hung up and told Momiji to go home. He refused to answer any of the rabbit's questions about her until he saw her first. He had an idea what was wrong with her… he just hoped he was wrong.

He ate a quick meal of instant rice and hurried out the door. He drove down to Tohru's house and knocked on the door. Tohru's aunt answered, who was surprised to see such a handsome young man standing at her door. Tohru had told her that a doctor by the name of "Sohma Hatori" would be coming to take a look at her after dinner, but Tohru never mentioned how good-looking he was!

"Please come in and make yourself welcome!"

"Thank you," he politely responded, though the air around him was far from cheerful.

'_Why are the good ones always so cold-hearted?'_ Tohru's aunt thought disappointedly before disappearing into the kitchen.

Hatori had been given simple instructions to Tohru's room and he went up the stairs to the second floor and down the hallway to the last door on the left. He rapped softly on the door first before entering.

"Hello Hatori-san! I'm very happy to see you! I hope I didn't cause you any problems in coming to visit me…" she said, trying to smile at him, but he could see the corners of her mouth wavering.

He closed the door behind him and set his bag on the nightstand next to her bed. "Tell me exactly what you are feeling now and any other weird feelings you've had in the past few days," he gently ordered her as he pulled out his stethoscope.

She nodded and explained the strange dizzy spells she's been getting a lot of and the frequent vomiting in the morning and when she was about to eat. He listened to her heart beat as she explained the strange nausea she felt just looking at certain foods. "I just feel so strange, Hatori-san. Usually, I feel okay, but there times when I think I'm going to die. I can't sleep at night and when I do, I have nightmares about Kyo and Akito and… you," she admitted sadly. "Sometimes I think I'm just going crazy."

Hatori stood back and pulled the stethoscope from his ears. "Well, I can assure you that you're not going crazy, and I'm not going to erase your memories. I think I know the cause of your illness, but first," he said, pulling out a small jar from his bag, "I need a urine sample, just to be safe." _'Though I'm 100 percent certain I know what it is…'_

Tohru nodded obediently and left the room to do her business in the bathroom. When she returned, she handed him the bottle of her urine and he motioned for her to return to her bed with a wave of his hand. When she was sitting securely in her bed, only then did he proceed to tell her what he believe was wrong.

"Honda-kun, can I ask you a question?"

"Yes, go right ahead!"

"Do you… do you ever have dreams about 'little people'?" he asked, almost shyly. He wasn't sure how to word what he wanted to say.

"'Little people'?" she puzzled. "I don't understand… what do you mean by that?"

"Babies," he persisted calmly, afraid to look her in the eyes. "Do you ever have dreams about babies?"

"A few, yes," she answered honestly.

"Tohru…" he said seriously, not sure how to really break it to her. She was so young, how would she take it? He looked into her eyes and knew he had to tell her the truth, right there and now.

"Tohru, I think you're pregnant."

She blinked. Her face paled as her eyes widened. She didn't say anything at first and it made him feel uneasy and insecure.

"Honda-kun, are you okay?" he asked, gently placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

She didn't look at him. She didn't move at all.

"Tohru?"

"I think I'm going to be sick…"


	15. Hope or Pain

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: Please bear in mind that Kyo and Tohru's personalities might change a little bit as the story progresses (ie, Tohru is pregnant so her emotions will be all over the place, and there is speculation that the fathers of unborn children in the womb are affected too with usually strange emotions, but they're not as obvious as the pregnant mother… In other words, I have done my homework in this subject, lol) Anyway, hope you all enjoy this chapter!_

**Chapter 14  
****Hope or Pain**

Hatori gave Tohru some sleeping pills and waited for her to fall asleep before he quietly left. Tohru's aunt tried to be very hospitable and offered him tea, but he refused and said that he had to get back to work at the main house. When her aunt asked what illness Tohru had caught, he didn't answer. "Let her get some sleep and if she feels up to going to school tomorrow, let her go. She has to return to school soon anyhow. Have a good evening Honda-san," was all he said before he walked out of the house and got into his car to drive home.

He didn't like the way things had turned out. Kyo and Tohru had done something foolish the night they ran away from the main house and now Tohru was pregnant and the father was in a mental institute because he was "a danger to himself and others". Hatori didn't know what happened exactly to Kyo when he was at the academy, but he knew that Kyo wasn't one to pick fights for no reason-unless it was with Yuki. Hatori didn't know why that was, but he had a pretty good guess…

Hatori sighed as he pulled his car into the Honke. The night was thick and a layer of mist hovered a few inches over the grassy grounds. _'Kyo's digging his own grave, and Honda-kun's carrying another life within her because of their actions. They certainly were both stupid that night…'_

He didn't tell Tohru what had happened to Kyo. He didn't want her to get upset about him, considering her circumstances and the fact that she could never see him again anyway. It would be just too much for her to bear if she found out…. Her emotions were already all over the place because of her hormones. Finding out the truth would only cause her more pain, and pose as a problem for both her health and the health of the child's she was carrying.

Hatori got out of his car and walked into his house. He glanced at the answering machine and saw that there was another message on it. His heart fell at the thought of more work. He just wanted a quiet night where he could sleep without being disturbed. He stepped in front of it and hit the play button before he started to take off his light coat.

"_Sohma-san! It's Yukuto from the institution! Come quickly! Kyo's ripping up his room and he's somehow locked himself in! We can't get in and-WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? GUARDS! SHOOT IT! HOLY SHIT-HE'S RIPPING UP THE WALLS! WHAT THE HELL IS THA-"_

_Beeeep._

Hatori swore heavily under his breath and hurried out of the house. All thoughts of peace and quiet and sleep vanished.

'_Kyo, what in the world do you think you're doing?'_

…

'_I gotta get out of here! I gotta get out!'_

My monstrous claws ripped the dry wall apart. I could hear the guards banging on the door, trying to get it open. I merely ignored their shouts as they fought the door.

'_I can't stand it here! I'm going crazy here! Can't they see that?'_

The wall crumpled in my claws. I snatched my beads off the floor and shoved them in my mouth. I couldn't lose them in there. Even though I deeply detested them for what they symbolized, I needed them to withhold my true form. I glared at the door where I could see that jerk Yukuto's face staring at me through the little window in horror.

'_Serves you right!'_

I crawled through the wall to the next room. I could hear keys rattling on the door as I went in and the boy that was sleeping in the room started screaming. My beastly eyes shot a snarling look that made him pull the covers over his head. The rattling of the keys on the other side of the door stopped when they found the right key and began to turn the lock. I cursed to myself and jumped on the wall beside the boy's bed. He freaked and jumped out and ran to the other side of the wall. I felt bad for him, knowing that my ugly form had now scarred him for life.

I crawled up the wall and punched a hole in the ceiling. The door of the room opened as I ripped slabs of drywall off the ceiling, making the hole bigger and bigger. The guards started spilling in and pointed their guns at me.

"Hold it! Or we'll shoot!"

A cold, hard sneer crossed my lips as my eyes narrowed at them. Who did he think he was trying to kid?

'_That's what you think!'_

"WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE? SHOOT IT!" Yukuto yelled from behind the guards in the doorway, but it was too late.

I jumped into the hole as bullets fired toward me.

I was between two floors and quickly ran into an air vent. My claws screeched across the metal floor as I ran. I wasn't sure where to run to, but I just had to get away. I turned left when I came to a dead end. I could hear the guards on the floor under me shouting, following the banging and scraping sounds of my movements in the vent above them.

I didn't care if they saw my true form. If it scared them, good; they needed to be scared for once in their lives considering how much they scare their boy patients. Besides, that jerk Yukuto called Hatori. No doubt Hatori was going to come and erase their memories of all this anyway.

I found myself grinning. _'But I'll be gone by then. Long gone. They won't even know what hit 'em!'_

Hot bullets tore through the metal just a few feet behind me. I cursed to myself. They were shooting at me! They really were trying to kill me! I scampered around another corner to try and throw them off, but they stayed hot on my heels, firing into the metal vent, hoping that one of them would hit me sooner or later.

This wasn't working. My form was too big and was slowing me down in this small space.

There was a dead end ahead of me that broke off in two directions: left and right. Which should I choose?

Piercing hot lead shot clear through my foot. I turned back to see a trail of blood left behind on the metal.

And slammed with a loud BANG into the metal vent that veered off in two directions that I had seen ahead of me.

I lost my balance and my train of thought. My head spun. What in the world happened? I had no time to contemplate what happened because more rounds of bullets shot at me. They had heard my crash and knew I was still, if only for a few moments, it would be enough time to kill me. A bullet ripped through my left arm and my left shoulder. Suddenly, I could feel the floor give out underneath me…

'_Kuso!'_

I fell through the ceiling and slammed to the ground.

"Quick! Kill it!"

Shaking myself to clear my mind, I pulled myself unsteadily to my feet and ripped the gun from the closest guard and threw it across the floor. My head spun, but I couldn't let that slow me down. I body-checked the second guard on my left and slashed the arm of the third guy on my right. I sloppily jump-kicked another guy in the face and punched another in the jaw with my enormous paw-like claws. It all happened so fast, they were all still in shock when I took off down the hall on the left.

I sniffed the air as I ran; it seemed to be fresher down this way. There must be a door leading outside down this path. The evening air was a blessing, cool and fresh in my lungs. It cleared my head as I ran toward it excitedly. The fresh air ahead meant freedom. I wanted that freedom, that air.

There was a familiar smell in that air…

The front doors were visible ahead. Through their windows I could see that the sun was setting, and was splashing red and orange colours across the sky. The bright reddish-orange ball of fire, that was the sun, was just about to sink into the tops of the trees that surrounded the insane asylum, separating the compound and all of its isolated inhabitants from the rest of the world outside.

Just like the "inside" of the Sohma Estate.

A sharp pain in the back of my neck jostled my balance. I stumbled forward, reaching for the back of my neck with my large deformed hand and pulled out a small dart.

I had been tranquilized.

"_NOOO!_" I roared, throwing the tranquilizer across the hallway; it smashed loudly on the concrete wall.

The beads I had been clutching in my mouth fell to the floor.

I felt another one strike my right shoulder as I whirled around. My world tipped to one side as I turned and I felt my entire body tip with it. I could feel the liquid spreading throughout my body, numbing my limbs and my mind. It was as though my blood was freezing; I couldn't control myself. I couldn't move my limbs. I felt myself sink to the floor gently. My usually keen eyesight dimmed and I couldn't make out my predator between the shadows passing over my eyes. My sense of smell weakened as my mind grew hazy. I was so tired…

There was a puff of smoke. Through my drooping eye lids, I saw one of my orange cat paws with its pink pads slide out from beneath me as I laid down on my side and fell asleep.

'_I didn't… make it…'_

…

Hatori arrived shortly after ten o'clock. The building was quiet and calm, and he knew that he would have a lot of work to do before he could call it a night.

A guard, with his right arm wrapped in bloodied bandages, accompanied him to the office with a grim and prissy look on his face. He didn't say a word, though Hatori could see him muttering inaudibly to himself.

Yup, Hatori knew he had a lot of work ahead of him.

Sighing tiredly when he reached the office door, he wondered how many people had seen Kyo's Juunishi and other form. Although he had never seen Kyo's "true form" himself, he knew that the cat's vengeful spirit had a double curse-a monstrous curse-from reading the Sohma family's ancestral records. Shigure and Akito had also mentioned it briefly in Hatori's presence, but they never went into detail about it. Who would? It was something so awful, so disturbingly terrifying, that merely speaking about it sent shivers up one's spine.

Another guard admitted Hatori into the office with a grumble. He had a bandage on his cheek, and wouldn't look Hatori in the eye. Hatori's emotionless eyes drifted over to a cat's crate in the corner of the office, confirming his anxious suspicions. Kyo had transformed and now he would have to answer all of their questions as well as erase their memories before they made their family secret known to the public.

Yukuto was already there, glaring daggers at Hatori when he entered. He had caught Hatori's brief glance at the cat's crate and knew that Hatori knew about Kyo. The mere thought of this made him furious as Hatori sat in the chair before his desk. "You knew all about _this thing _right from the start!" he growled spitefully. "I don't know who you think you are to trick us into admitting _that thing _into our institution, but _that thing _is beyond correcting! _That thing _is a monster-_a danger to society_-and should be locked up with the key thrown away!"

Hatori's frigid face didn't even falter as Yukuto spoke, which only resulted in making him angrier. He listened in his silent, cold and distant way. "I'm sorry he was a handful for you, Yukuto-san," he responded emotionlessly.

A vein popped in Yukuto's temple. "Do you know what my men had to go through? He not only destroyed property, but he attacked every individual one of my men!" Yukuto shouted. Hatori's facial expression still didn't change. If he wasn't careful, Yukuto may throw a tantrum. "I can't explain everything I saw today, but if you think I'm going to let you get away with this _monster_, you've got some nerve!"

"Do you have Kyo's bracelet?"

Not fully comprehending the question, Yukuto was stumped for a moment. Hatori's unresponsiveness, coldness and utter randomness of his question left Yukuto feeling stupefied. "What the-HOW CAN YOU JUST SIT THERE SO CALMLY AND DEMAND SOMETHING SO STUPID AND IRRELEVANT!" Yukuto yelled furiously.

"Do you have Kyo's bracelet?" Hatori repeated with the same tone as before; it was a cold and forbidding tone.

Yukuto's face began to turn purple. He clenched his jaw tightly. He snatched the bracelet, which he had discovered on the floor in the hallway, from his desktop surface and shook it in Hatori's face. "HERE IT IS!" he bellowed, throwing the bracelet in Hatori's face.

It smacked off his forehead and fell onto Hatori's lap. He picked it up and pocketed it in the inside breast pocket of his jacket. "Thank you," he replied calmly, unaffected that something had just been thrown in his face.

Fuming, his face contorted with utter fury, Yukuto hissed, "If you don't do something about _that thing_, I'll _kill _it myself!"

Hatori stood up from his seat in front of Yukuto's desk and looked down at him. "I'm very sorry for the trouble you and your employees have gone through tonight. May I offer you my service to aid you in your recovery?"

…

Tohru woke up the next morning feeling better than she has in a long time. She had a pleasant dream, which she forgot as soon as she opened her eyes in the morning sunlight that streamed forth from her window, and was in a very happy mood. She went about her morning duties, humming cheerfully to herself. Her relatives noticed her bright and cheery mood and fell over when she greeted them with an overly gleeful smile.

'_That Hatori-san is a miracle worker!'_ Tohru's aunt thought as she pulled herself back to her feet after falling on her back when Tohru greeted her with her most radiant smile before she skipped off to go to school.

Once Tohru was outside the house, she slowed her pace as her memories of what happened last night drifted back into her mind. It was the feeling of loneliness that brought them all back. She had looked over her shoulder, expecting to see the shy amber eyes following her, but when she saw nothing, she felt very lonely and vulnerable.

Kyo was in a place where she would never get to see him again. She could never tell him that she was sorry she said the things she said. She still didn't understand why she freaked out the way she did. She just felt so scared and sick. The sight of those boys… and the blood… she just wanted to run away. She had to run away. She didn't want Kyo to see how weak she was.

'_And now… Hatori-san said that I'm going to have a baby…'_ she thought sadly, hugging her stomach gently as the cool morning breeze nipped at her jacket. Her eyes welled up with tears. _'I'm never going to get to tell him that he's going to be a father…'_

She stumbled forward, tripping over her own clumsy feet. Her slender hand reached up and covered her pink lips to hide her anguish, even though her eyes betrayed her, when she thought, _'He's never going to get to see his child!'_

She fell to her hands and knees on the sidewalk, hanging her head helplessly. _'Okaa-san! What am I going to do? I can't do this on my own!'_ she cried silently to her mother, searching for help in the only person she felt she could talk to.

'_I don't know what to do…'_

She wiped away her tears, telling herself that she had to get up. She had to go to school. She had to go on for her mother. Her mother had it much harder than herself.

Tohru kept telling herself that until she arrived at school. She apologized to her teacher for missing so much school and would try very hard to catch up with everyone else. "But I was lucky enough to have Uo-chan and Hana-chan bring me my homework while I was sick, so I should be okay and catch up soon!" she said with a bright smile, hiding her inner turmoil.

Her teacher, who was surprised to see a change in her personality since she had been away, smiled back and told Tohru not to worry. "If you did the homework, you should be okay," she told Tohru before returning to her own work.

Tohru nodded and left her teacher alone to do her work. _'If I work hard and never give up, I can get through this! Right, Okaa-san?'_

"Hey, Tohru!"

Tohru saw Uo and Hana and ran to greet them warmly. Seeing them again in school brought a sincere smile to her face. They looked relieved to see her feeling better and acting more like her old self. Hana at least tried to look happier and not so worried about her, but she could still sense that something was different about Tohru. Everyday, Tohru's waves were becoming stronger and more different than the previous day. It was almost as if…

"Enough about me, Uo-chan!" Tohru declared with a slight laugh after answering Uo's worried, motherly questions. "What about you two? How have you two been doing while I was away?"

Uo's eyes began to tear up. She glomped Tohru, sobbing, "She's such a trooper! Even though Tohru was the one who was sick, she still worries about the health of her friends! WAH! She's such a good friend!"

"EH? Uo-chan, don't cry! You'll make me cry!"

The school bell rang for students to go to classes as Uo abruptly released Tohru. "You're right, Tohru!" she exclaimed, her eyes alight with a smile across her face. With her arm around Tohru's shoulder, she marched forward with Tohru by her side. "This is no time for crying! This is a time to celebrate! Tohru! Did you bring you're wonderful food with you for lunch?"

"Hai!"

"YES! We're eating like celebrities today!"

Hana followed behind the pair in deep thought. She truly was the darker one of the trio, but there was more to it than that. She hung back so that she could look over Tohru as fear built up inside herself.

…

A week passed and Tohru was able to keep a happy face through most of her days by continuously reminding herself that her mother had it harder than her and that she should be grateful for the wonderful, caring friends she had and the kindness of her relatives to let her stay with them. Whenever she was alone, however, her mind was always filled with thoughts of Kyo. She couldn't help thinking about him. How could she not? She was carrying his child after all, even though she couldn't really physically tell right now. She knew it would only be a month or two before anyone could really see that her stomach was growing.

It was a Sunday night and she was in the middle of cooking supper for her relatives when it happened. She had been feeling fine over the week up to that day, and it took her by surprise. The dizziness washed over her, throwing her off balance and making her head spin. Her aunt had been standing next to her, stirring the miso soup when Tohru wavered.

"Tohru-chan?"

Tohru lowered herself to the ground, taking deep breaths to try and stop the spinning in her head. She felt weak all over, as if her muscles had turned into limp noodles as her temperature heated up in her head. Her aunt crouched down next to her. "Are you alright, Tohru-chan?" she asked.

Tohru nodded, although she didn't feel alright. She pulled herself up shakily and looked into her worried aunt's eyes. Tohru's eyes betrayed her when she felt the nausea creep up her throat. She turned and fled to the small bathroom on the main floor where she threw up.

Tohru was scared. Her aunt had seen her dizzy spell and now she was standing in the door of the bathroom asking if Tohru was okay. "Should I call a doctor?"

The young brunette shook her head, coughing and trembling all over. She couldn't let her aunt know that she was pregnant. Not yet at least.

Grandpa popped his head into the bathroom when Tohru was wiping her face with the wash cloth her aunt handed her. "Pregnant are we, Kyoko-san?" he asked with a smile before ambling down to the kitchen to see if supper was ready yet.

"P-Pregnant?" Tohru's aunt repeated, seeing the horror in Tohru's large eyes, confirming her nagging suspicion that she hoped wasn't true.

Tohru could feel her eyes welling with tears as her aunt left without another word, silently fuming about the sudden news. Tohru buried her face in her hands as her cousin ran in.

"No way! I can't believe you banged those guys! Were they as good as they are good-looking?"

Tohru didn't reply as she continued to tremble all over, and her cousin took that as a yes.

"Whoa! You must have been banging those guys every chance you got! I know I would've!" she declared as she walked down the hall, her head filled with images of the two dreamy Sohma boys she had met about a year ago.

Tohru was left all by herself in the bathroom. The secret that she had been hiding for a week was exposed and she felt deflated and vulnerable.

'_Okaa-san… what should I do now?'_

Her relatives had taken her into their home without any questions asked, and she had shamed them and their family name. What was going to happen to her now that they knew her secret?

Using toilet paper, she blew her nose and dried her eyes before she left the bathroom. The food she and her aunt had been preparing just minutes ago were pulled from the stove and were now sitting almost cooked on the counters when she entered the kitchen. She saw her aunt sitting at the table supporting her chin in her hands. Her eyes had a far-away look, her brows were furrowed and her lips were pressed together in a frown. Tohru had never seen her aunt look like this before. It frightened her. Timidly, with her head lowered and her bangs falling in front of her eyes, she approached her aunt with a heavy, pained heart.

"A-Ano…" Tohru didn't know what to say. She was afraid she would say the wrong things and only wind up in more trouble. She trembled and felt hot tears spill down her cheeks.

"Save it," Tohru heard her aunt snap. "I don't want to hear one word from your ungrateful, lying lips. Do you hear me?"

"Ha-Hai…" Tohru mumbled as her aunt stood up from the table and began to pace a few feet.

She refused to look at Tohru for a long time. As she paced, Tohru's cousin and grandfather came into the kitchen from the dining room. Her cousin started picking at the food, eating all the good pieces and licking her fingers greedily. Tohru's grandfather stood by her side, rubbing her back and asking, "Are you feeling okay, Kyoko-san? Should I call a doctor?"

"No!" barked Tohru's aunt, startling Tohru and her grandfather. "We are not calling _that_ doctor again! That _Sohma _knew she was pregnant! I can't believe he didn't tell me!"

"I-I was going to tell you myself, b-but I-"

"You know my son is training to be a police man! He graduates from the academy in the spring! You know that! _You know that!_ And then you go and…" she stopped herself, turning away from Tohru, who was in tears.

Tohru knew she had failed her family. And herself.

"I can't even _look _at you!"

Tohru couldn't stifle her cries any longer and began sobbing loudly.

Tohru's grandfather handed her a handkerchief to blow her nose on and wipe up her tears. She thanked him softly, but his gentle kindness only made her cry harder. "Don't worry Kyoko-san. We'll think of something."

"Don't say that old man!" Tohru's aunt remarked sharply. She stormed toward him, glaring at the elderly man. "We can't have a girl like _her _living here! My son will never become a police man when trouble is bred inside the family unit! She can't stay here! She can't!"

"B-But I have no where else to go!" Tohru cried desperately.

"What about that other family you love so much, eh? What, have you disgraced them too? Is that why you moved back with us?" she spat furiously.

"No, no! You don't understand! I-"

"Don't lie to me!"

She couldn't look her aunt in the eyes because her piercing glare was too much for Tohru to handle. She buried her face in her hands again hopelessly.

"Mou mou," Grandpa said, trying to calm his daughter down. "You shouldn't be so hard on Kyoko-san. Accidents like this happen to girls her age all the time now-a-days."

"Ojii-san! '_Accidents like this_' do not happen all the time! Most girls are smart enough to take the pill or some other form of protection! She was obviously foolish and acted on instinct, making this far worse than an '_accident_'! It was just _asking _to happen!"

"What do you propose we do then?" Grandfather asked calmly.

"She could always get an abortion," Tohru's cousin said, licking her fingers as she withdrew from the food. "That's what everyone else does. Before she gets too big, she can get an abortion and no one would have known the difference."

Tohru's eyes widened in horror at the thought of killing a living, breathing being growing inside of her. She looked down at her hands before wrapping them protectively around her stomach. "N-No," she mumbled.

Tohru's aunt heard her reject the idea and pounced on her. "Oh? And do you have a better plan? Going to built a little tent and live out in the wilderness with all the slugs? HA! I'd like to see that!"

"I… I want to keep it… my baby…" Tohru murmured slowly. She blinked back tears, gathering courage as she spoke, "I want to have my baby. I don't want to kill it. Having a child growing inside of me… I could never ever kill something so precious."

"'_Precious_'? The only thing that's _precious _about it is the time you will spend without your period while you're pregnant!"

"I-It's my choice!" Tohru sobbed loudly. She wiped away her tears that had trickled down her cheeks. "I'm going to have this baby! It's what Okaa-san would have wanted, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!"

"Not in this house! You're not going to have a child here! I won't hear of it!"

"Calm down-"

"Shut up old man!" Tohru's aunt yelled. Her eyes darkened and she lowered her voice as she spoke, "She's made her decision. She's going to have this _bastard _child whether I like it or not. But not here. Not here under my roof. She can find someone else to take her in because there's _'nothing I can do'_ for her."

She turned on her heels and stormed silently out of the kitchen. Tohru bit back her tears and went to her room. She packed her clothes and school things and hurried out of the house before her aunt would chase her out. The evening air was crisp and cold against her moist cheeks as tears continued to silently seep down. The sun was beginning to set when she left and as she knocked on the door of this new, and familiar house, the sun was already below the horizon. She wasn't sure if she could stay in this new house forever, but she knew that they wouldn't send her away for that night at least.

When her friend answered the door, Tohru could no longer contain her sadness any longer and burst into tears again. Hana, who had answered the door, tried to comfort Tohru and brought her into her home, assuring Tohru that she could stay.

"I-I couldn't stay there…" Tohru hiccupped between sobs. "They wouldn't let me… they wanted me to… I couldn't…"

Hana watched Tohru as she hugged her stomach, knowing the truth before Tohru had to tell her. Hana encircled Tohru in her arms and cried with her friend in their shared pain.


	16. Secrets

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ** _(July 17, 2010)_ Hi! Long time no update! I'm back, after 4.5 years, to try and complete some of my furuba fics (mainly this one and "ShugoTenshi"). Enjoy!

**Chapter 15**

**Some Secrets Are Best Kept As Secrets**

Tohru told Hana everything.

Hana tried to be supportive and sympathetic of her friend as Tohru sobbed and sniffled while explaining it all, but inside, her blood was boiling. Her little brother, Megumi, could feel Hanajima's waves crashing over her and he could see that she was trying with all of her strength to control herself. If she ever saw Kyo again...

"Nee-san," her brother whispered to her, "calm down. You can't change what has happened in the past, and you can't control Tohru-kun and Sohma-san's actions."

"I know, but it's the fact that he has no idea what he did to Tohru-kun, and that he keeps making her unhappy and doing stupid things that makes me so angry," she muttered under her breath. "Moreover, if I don't kill him, then Uo-chan will when she finds out."

His face darkened with a sweatdrop. "Yes, that's true."

Hana glanced over at Tohru sleeping on her bed. After she had explained everything to Hanajima through fits of sobs and had calmed down, she almost instantly fell asleep on Hana's bed. Hana wasn't sure where Tohru would sleep in her house, but she didn't have the heart to move her now. Seeing Tohru sleeping so peacefully calmed her and she watched her friend lovingly as feelings of worry started to kick in. "Perhaps I should wait to tell Uo-chan until Tohru-kun starts showing..." Hana thought out-loud to herself. She shook her head, changing her mind, "But that would just make her angrier, knowing that we knew and didn't tell her sooner."

Megumi nodded. "So what will you do?"

Hana signed, massaging her temples. "That's not my decision to make."

...

_**"NANI?"**_

Hana could see it coming.

"I'M GONNA KILL HIM!"

Hana explained to Tohru the following morning that Uo had to find out sometime, but that Tohru had the choice to do it either sooner or later. Tohru chose sooner because she didn't want Uo to be upset about having a secret kept from her. Tohru still did not disclose the Sohma family secret, nor did she mention what happened at the Honke the night that it all happened. She kept Hatori and Akito a secret. She knew Uo wouldn't take the news well-she was actually surprised that Hana took it as well as she did (although she questioned how much her friend could be trying not to disclose her true feelings about it). While Tohru appreciated their concern over her well-being, she didn't want Uo to make a huge fuss... or a spectacle of herself. Hana was in agreement.

"Calm down, Arisa."

"HOW COULD HE DO THAT TO YOU?"

"Uo-chan, I'm fine, really," Tohru said, trying to reassure her friend, even though they all knew that Tohru was not fine. She wished Uo would yell a little quieter. They may be in their usual meeting spot, slightly hidden away from everyone at school, eating their lunches, but the wind can carry voices for quite a ways...

"YOU'RE 17 TOHRU! YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO BE HAVING BABIES!"

"Arisa..." Hana warned sternly.

"But... Okaa-san was 17 when I was born..."

"And _where_ is Kyo, huh?" Uo spat. "At least your father was around when you were born!"

That did it. Tohru's lips trembled. She lowered her head, blinking rapidly, trying to control herself. She tried to stay strong, but as soon as one tear escaped, the others came out all at once. She sobbed loudly, burying her face in her hands. She didn't tell her friends what she had seen him do at the all boys boarding school. She felt ashamed of his actions and didn't want to admit to her friends what had happened. It was bad enough just telling them that she was pregnant with his child... She didn't know where he was now, or what he was doing. She didn't know if he loved her or not. She didn't know what to do about her own situation either. She wanted to keep his baby, but how could she possibly do it on her own?

Both Uo and Hana softened. Hana shot Uo a hard look and Uo knew, as soon as the words escaped her mouth, that she had gone too far.

"Tohru..." Uo groaned, deflated, her anger at Kyo subsiding (for the moment) and being replaced by guilt, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

Uo and Hana embraced their crying friend together. They reassured her that they would stand by her no matter what happened, but they could offer no support for Kyo. At least, not yet.

...

**(((Return to Kyo's POV)))**

I awoke to the throbbing of my head, my slashed wrist wrapped in bandages, and the bruises that covered my body. I was in a dark room that I had never been in before with the smell of dust and stale blood hanging in the air. I had this weird feeling in my stomach; I was probably starving.

_Where am I?_

Was that smell coming from me? Was there blood on me? I got up slowly in case something was wrong with my head. Last thing I needed was to get up too quickly, get dizzy, pass out, and knock my head on something. I didn't know where I was, so I might need all of my sense with me. The room stank of old blood, but I could see nothing on the floor around me. No blood stains. My hands looked clean in the pale light. I touched my face carefully, but felt no warm blood or dried blood. I felt bandages covering my eyebrow and the left side of my forehead. Could they be soiled with blood? The room was dark, and only the faint outline of an old dusty couch, a wooden chair and a small table could be seen through the pale moonlight streaming in from the barred window.

Wait.

Barred window?

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I slowly made my way over to the window that stood about three feet above the ground. It wasn't large, but it wasn't small either. There were vertical bamboo bars running running up and down. Each bar was spaced about 15 centimetres apart. I touched the walls as I stepped up to the window. They were made of wood. Looking out the window, I saw a traditional looking house about a dozen meters away in the moonlight.

_Dammit! _I was in the Cat's Cage on the Sohma estate.

I leaned the right side of my head against one of the bars, silently cursing. What had I done? I tried to remember. My head throbbed but I couldn't remember what I had done to put myself in here. I was supposed to finish high school before I was supposed to be forced to live here. I hadn't finished high school yet, so what gives? Why the heck was I here?

I growled. It didn't make sense!

"Akito!" I shouted into the night. "Akito!"

My only response was the chirping of crickets in the grass beyond.

Was this just temporary? Like punishment for something I had done? Or was this permanent? Was I in here for good now?

At least the coolness of the bar eased the pain of my head a little. I saw the moon creeping up above Akito's house, because of course the Cat's Cage would be located next to God's house. This had been the first time I ever set foot into the Cat's Cage. Great. A single-room house hidden away in the remotest part of the Sohma estate behind Akito's house just for me. Was I special or what?

At least the house was wooden. I could make quick work of that and get out of here in no time. I smirked with this thought. _I'll wait a little while so that Akito thinks his plan of containing me works. Then I'll change into my other form and rip this place apart. Or simply turn into my cat form and climb out of the bars. Should be a piece of cake._

I closed my eyes and breathed in the fresh night air. My mind was slowly clearing, and my memories were coming back to me, if not slightly foggy. There was running. A lot of running. Through a narrow passage way, that must have been an air vent. There were popping noises. No, not popping. The sound of bullets on metal. Then I was running down a hallway... That's right. I tried to escape from the mental institution. When did that happen? Then there was a big indoor pool... no, that was the bath-house at the boarding school. That's right. I got into a fight with some punks at the school and...

Her image beyond the gates of the boarding school flashed in my mind.

_Tohru?_

_Where's Tohru?_

I heard footsteps outside, approaching my cage. Was it Akito?

I tucked the image of Tohru quickly into the back of my mind. Thank god Hatori didn't erase my memories of her!

I saw the silhouette of someone approaching me. It wasn't Akito. As he came closer, I could tell it was Hatori.

"Hatori!" I called out. "Get me out of here!"

I heard him sigh as he stepped closer to the Cage. "I can't do anymore favours for you, Kyo," he murmured, barely audible over the crickets. "You've caused enough trouble as it is. I'm just here to change your bandages and clean your injuries."

"What do you mean?"

Hatori arrived at my Cage, and although I couldn't see his face in the shadows, I could feel his glare. He let himself in with a key and locked himself in, just in case I made a mad dash for it (which was quite possible, but not tonight...).

"Kyo, you can't kill yourself," Hatori said as he stood next to the door. "Trust me. Enough Juunishi of the past have tried. We are bound here until we die naturally, which is when our Juunishi spirits die. You can slash your wrists as much as you want, but it's not going to relieve you of this life. You might as well fill your time with learning some patience and various philosophies of life. After all, you're in here for good and all you have now is endless amounts of time at your disposal."

I slowly lowered myself to the ground and hung my head in despair. _Damn_.

Defeated, I let Hatori work on me in silence as I let everything he just told me sink in.

"Does this mean I'm immortal?"

Hatori coughed. An attempt to hide a chuckle? "No," he replied. "You just can't kill yourself."

"What if I chopped my head off? Would I run around like a chicken?"

He didn't reply. I knew it was a stupid question, but at least it lightened my mood a little. The prospect that living in this house, all by myself, for the rest of my life was daunting. How long would that be? 40? 50? 60 more years? _Kuso..._

"Why didn't you just erase my memories of everything?" I muttered, beginning to feel the weight of it all pushing down on my shoulders.

Hatori sighed. He had already removed the bandages on my head, inspected my injuries there, cleaned them gently and replaced the bloody bandages with some fresh ones, and was now almost finished removing the ones around my wrist. "Believe me Kyo, you'd be better off without your memories of _her_, but Akito wants you to suffer."

Her smiling face appeared in my mind before it was suddenly distorted into one of horror. I clenched my teeth as I grimaced. It would be the image to haunt me the rest of my life.

Hatori noticed. "Yes," he sighed again. "You have made her life difficult too. Hers will never be the same either."

It occurred to me that now was the time to ask him the question that had been plaguing me since the last time I saw her. "Hatori, you didn't... you didn't erase her memories that night we came to see Akito... right?"

Hatori paused for only a second. "Correct," he answered. "Don't you remember what happened?"

"Yeah, but... I was confused after I got ill. You all told me that her memories were erased and she was kicked out into the streets, but..."

"You were delirious, _and_ Akito was there. But even so, how could you believe that?" Hatori wouldn't look me in the eyes. He was hiding something now. Something he didn't want me to know. "Doesn't matter now. You're never going to see her again. You might as well try to forget everything that happened with her."

"You say that, but you know that even you can't listen to your own advice," I muttered.

I winced as he poked my healing cuts on my wrist while he was cleaning them. He did that on purpose, I'm sure. Still a sensitive spot on him.

"You don't even want to know what your actions have cost you. You should be thankful that I'm not telling you how much you've screwed up." His voice held a darkness to it. A bitterness that almost sounded sad as well. He quickly wrapped up my wrist with some fresh gauze and stood up.

"What do you mean?" I asked him for the second time.

He didn't respond as he left. My heightened sense of wonder turned to worry. This wasn't just about me, was it? Something was wrong. But what?

...

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **So, yeah. I'm back, and I'm going to try and complete some of my furuba fics (mainly this one and "ShugoTenshi") and start another one soon afterwards at some point (probably after I finish this one). I HAD almost everything mapped out for this one and the new one... but I lost it all when my old laptop crashed about 3 years ago. So now I have to remember everything I intended to write, but I've also added to it too. I had to watch episode 25 and 26 to refresh my memory (particularly the part about Kazuma's grandfather in the Cat's Cage).

I own ALL of the manga now (all 23 volumes of it) LOVE IT! XD Some things in the manga won't apply to this story because at the time I was writing this fic, I was only just starting my Furuba collection and therefore could not grasp everything that was supposed to happen in the original. That will become obvious when it happens in this story. JUST TELLING YOU ALL THIS NOW SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO POINT OUT SOMETHING OBVIOUS IN THE MANGA!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	17. Like a Brother

**Chapter 16**

**Like a Brother**

Momiji heard everything.

He saw Tohru and Hana meet up with Uo in their little tucked-away nook at the edge of the school grounds and was running towards them when he heard Tohru speaking. He hid and listened to the whole thing, clamping his hands over his mouth to stop himself from crying out.

It all made sense to him now. He was angry at Kyo, but also terribly worried about Tohru. His concern for her out-weighed his anger at Kyo, and while he didn't know where Kyo was at the time, he knew that he had to do something. Both for Tohru and the life that she now carried inside of her.

He remained hidden, crying as he heard Tohru crying in the arms of her best friends. He stole a quick glance at Tohru through the bushes before he ran off towards the school. The bell for classes to begin soon sounded and he hurried even faster, in hopes that Tohru, Uo and Hana wouldn't see him. He ran into the nearest boys' bathroom and splashed some cool water on his face.

_Doushite? _ He asked himself. _Why? Why? Why?_

He stared at his reflection in the mirror. His large brown eyes were red-rimmed. His golden bangs hung out of his hat and into his eyes a little bit. He looked like a tearful little girl, and he suddenly didn't like what he saw staring back at him. As the second bell rang, he had made his decision.

...

At the start of lunch, Momiji went to the student council office. Yuki was there. Momiji wasn't expecting to see Yuki there. He had hoped that he could talk to someone else, but as soon as Yuki saw him, he gave a little nod to signal to the curious girls that he would take care of this student's concerns. The girls looked mildly disappointed that they couldn't at least talk to the cute little blond-haired boy wearing the girls' uniform.

"Hello Momiji-kun," Yuki greeted. "What can I do for you? This isn't about something Haru did, is it?"

"No, no, Haru's doing fine. He hasn't turned black or anything," Momiji assured Yuki.

Yuki sighed with relief. "One last thing to worry about..." he murmured under his breath.

Momiji wondered if Yuki knew about Tohru. He thought the chances of Yuki knowing were slim if Tohru was just telling her closest friends now. Besides, Yuki was acting far too calm and fluid for someone to know such details about a girl he was emotionally close to.

Momiji noticed Yuki watching him curiously. Momiji realised that he wasn't behaving in his usual happy and bouncy way. "Ah," Momiji began," I came here to get some new uniforms."

"Oh," Yuki replied, somewhat surprised. "What's wrong with your current ones? Did something happen to them?"

"No..." Momiji answered a little shyly, "I just want to... wear the boys' uniform now..."

Yuki blinked repeatedly-not sure if he heard Momiji correctly. He didn't expect Momiji to _want_ to start wearing the boys' uniform all of a sudden without being forced to.

"Winter's coming soon, and..." Momiji stammered," I thought now would be a good time to get some new uniforms before it gets too cold."

Yuki nodded, but was still surprised by this news. "Okay, "I'll go get you some..."

He left in search of the uniforms, leaving Momiji alone in the office for a moment. He breathed in and out calmly. Why did he suddenly feel stressed about this? Maybe it's because he knows something about Tohru that Yuki doesn't. Or maybe...

He swallowed again.

The girls in the student council office were now timidly approaching the blond boy, curiosity getting the best of them.

"Are you sure that's a boy?" one girl whispered to the other.

"Yes, he's in my little sister's class. She thinks he's so cute!"

"He is! He's so cute!"

Momiji sighed before he turned his frown upside-down. "Hi!" he said. "I'm Sohma Momiji, Yun-chan's cousin!"

Their eyes widened, sparkling, as they clasp their hands together in front of their chests simultaneously. "Uwaaa! Kawaiiiiii!"

Works every time.

The girls asked him a few questions and he responded giddily by the time Yuki returned with a sigh. "I'm sorry Momiji-kun, but I could only find one winter and one summer uniform in your size. So I brought you an order form. Usually we don't start ordering winter uniforms until next month. If you return this form tomorrow, we'll have your new uniforms in next week."

Momiji nodded and thanked his cousin before skipping out the office door.

...

Tohru was feeling weak today. She used the last of her strength to tell Uo her secret. It was hard for her to sit through her morning classes. She felt like everyone's eyes were on her, watching her, judging her... like they all knew. Which was crazy. She had to remind herself more than once that no one but Uo and Hana knew, so she had nothing to worry about. Yet. She knew that in another month or two she would start to show and then she wouldn't be able to keep it a secret much longer.

_And then... what will I do?_ she thought worriedly.

Lunch time caught her by surprise. Hana could read Tohru better than anyone, so Hana had become incredibly responsive since last night. Tohru would be alone one moment, and then the next she would find Hana next to her.

"Daijoubu, Tohru-kun," Hana said reassuringly ("It's okay, Tohru-kun") as she put a hand on Tohru's shoulder.

A smile spread across Tohru's face as she looked up at Hana. "Hai!"

Uo joined them ("I'm starving!") and the three of them went to their usual place for lunch. Uo and Hana chatted while they ate. Tohru was rather quiet, sometimes listening, and sometimes she was thinking intently.

"Oh my god."

Tohru heard Uo's hushed exclamation and followed her gaze. She saw Momiji and Haru approaching and... Momiji was wearing the boys' uniform?

"Tohru~~!" Momiji shouted joyfully as he ran toward her.

"M-Momiji-kun!" Tohru's mouth hung open in surprise, but she finally managed to close it.

"I never thought he'd ditch the girls' uniform while we were still in school," Uo said softly to Hana.

"Yes," Hana agreed. "Something's changed. I wonder...?"

"Tohru~~!"

"Momiji-kun! You're wearing the boys' uniform!" Tohru stated the obvious as Momiji and Haru (slowly) arrived.

"Duh," Haru could be heard muttering under his breath.

"What's up, pip-squeak? Why did you ditch the girls' uniform and upgrade to the boys'?" Uo asked.

"Because his balls finally dropped."

"Oi, don't be so obscene in front of Tohru!" Uo snapped, glaring at Haru.

Hana cracked a smile, but was silent. Tohru merely cocked her head to one side and Momiji proceeded to giggle.

"Himitsu desu," Momiji said. "It's a secret."

"Momiji-kun, you look more grown-up in the boys' uniform," Tohru said.

Momiji laughed ("Hee, hee, hee!") with a big smile on his face.

"I wonder where Yun-chan is today?" Haru declared, glancing around. "I thought he might be here with you guys."

"Oh! I saw him in the Student Council Office. He has duties today, I guess," Momiji told him.

"Did you just come back from the Student Council Office?" Uo asked Momiji.

"Ja! That's when I picked up my new uniform," Momiji replied, looking pleased with himself.

"Maybe we should kidnap him so he can spend the rest of the lunch period with us?" Haru suggested with a mischievous grin spreading across his face.

"Ja! Ja! Then we can play a game with him! The more players, the better!" Momiji declared, bouncing up and down.

"No, I don't think that's a good idea."

All heads turn to Tohru. "I mean," she continued, "he joined the student council for a reason. He can't just abandon his duties so he can play a game with us. He has some days off, so we can ask him to play with us then. But he has a responsibility so... we need to support him in his decision, even if that means he has less free time with us."

They stared at her, stunned.

"Dammit, Tohru!" Uo grabbed Tohru and pulled her into a tight hug, tears stun the corners of Uo's eyes.

Haru tilted his head to one side, wondering why the yankee was getting all choked up, but everyone else knew. Momiji felt guilty and was mentally kicking himself for saying something so childish. Tohru was the one who needed support for her new responsibility and although she hadn't formally told everyone else yet, Momiji, Hana and Uo knew the fear that hung within Tohru's heart.

...

After school that day, Momiji tried to sneak away from Haru for a moment and searched for Tohru. He found her outside with Hana and Uo, almost off the school grounds. He sighed, realizing that the chances of getting Tohru alone for a minute were slim. Uo and Hana were going to be permanently attached to Tohru from now on. He needed to figure out a way to get them to trust him enough so that he could be alone with her for a little while...

"Tohru~~!" he called after them, running to catch up with them.

The three girls turned at the sound of Momiji's voice. He waved excitedly as he ran over to them.

"Momiji-kun, will you walk with us?" Tohru asked with a smile.

"Ja!"

"Where's Haru?" asked Uo, looking behind Momiji.

"Eh? I don't know..." Momiji lied. "Maybe he got lost?"

"What!" Uo didn't make the connection that Haru was always losing his way.

"Ah, maybe he did," Tohru replied. Momiji knew that Tohru understood his cousins well. Even Haru. "Maybe we should go back and look for him?"

"That won't be necessary."

They all (minus Hana) jumped at the sound of Haru's voice behind them. Somehow, he had gotten in front of them!

"Dammit! Don't do that!" shouted Uo, raising a fist in the air.

"Ehhh? How did you get in front of us Hatsuharu-san?" asked Tohru in disbelief.

"I lost sight of Momiji for a second and found myself here. A mystery..." was Haru's response.

Hana smiled to herself.

Momiji was disheartened. It seemed to him like Haru had him on a short leash... Why was it so impossible for him to be alone with Tohru? He sighed, which caught everyone's attention because it was uncharacteristic of him. He decided to change the subject quickly to something worthy of a sigh.

"Poor Ha'ri," he said. "He's been working awfully hard lately. I haven't seen him around too much. But you're okay now, aren't you Tohru?"

It was all true, and Momiji really had no idea as to what was occupying so much of Hatori's time. He wondered if it had something to do with Kyo...

"Ah! Hai!" Tohru replied, rather quickly. "F-Fine! No problem these days! 100% healthy!"

She sounded like she was just trying to convince everyone, but everyone, minus Haru, knew what was in store for Tohru in the future.

Momiji wanted to cheer her up, just as much as he wanted to spend more time with her. Even if he couldn't be alone with her. "Good," he said, smiling at her, "then we should have a play-date together sometime! You know, like go and see a movie or go to the zoo."

"Uwaa, that sounds great Momiji-kun! Ne, Uo-chan, Hana-chan, do you want to go to the zoo together next Sunday?" Tohru asked, excitedly, now that the attention had shifted from her health and onto something that sounded more enjoyable.

Momiji was disappointed that she had asked her friends to join them, but in a way, he expected it. He'd steal her away for a quiet moment together when he'd find the chance.

"Aw man, that sounds awesome, but I have to work! Dammit! This sucks!" Uo spat dejectedly.

"That's not very lady-like," retorted Haru calmly.

"What!" Uo and Haru started to bicker, much like the way Uo and Kyo bickered. It was like Haru had taken Kyo's place in that regard... but when Haru was white, he was always calm. Rarely did Uo get him so worked up that he turned black. Uo would lose interest in the argument early though because Haru's laid-back "white" state was less encouraging

But Momiji was happy. He was going to spend Sunday with Tohru!

...

Sunday had finally arrived and Momiji was super excited. He waited at their meeting spot (just outside the zoo entrance) for Tohru, Hana and Haru to arrive. He arrived far too early because he was so excited to have a fun-filled day with Tohru (and of course Hana and Haru). Tohru had also invited Yuki to join them, but Yuki had other (student council related) activities to do. He declined graciously and told them that he would try and join them next time. Momiji waited patiently for Tohru and Hana to arrive. Fifteen minutes later, they arrived, right on time, but Haru was still no where to be seen.

"I hope he didn't get lost again," Tohru wondered out-loud, looking around worriedly for the ox.

Momiji heard his cellphone chime. He opened it and found a message from Haru. "Oh! He must have heard us talking about him!" he exclaimed, followed by a giggle. He read the message out loud: "Lost. Found Rin. She's upset. Gunna stay with her."

"I guess that means Hatsuharu-san won't be joining us," murmured Tohru, a little disappointedly. "But at least he found Rin and will be there for her. It sounds like she needed him, and his heart led him to her."

"Very romantic," Hana said softly.

Tohru nodded. Her face clouded over for a second and she looked as though she might cry.

"Ne, ne Tohru!" Momiji said quickly, wanting to cheer her up. He didn't want her to be sad. Not today. He wanted this day to be special for her. "Maybe there will be big oxen inside! Would that make you feel better?"

Tohru blinked and a couple second passed before a smile spread across her face and she started to laugh a little. Momiji's heart fluttered and a big grin stretched from ear to ear. She may be a little slow, but at least he could make her happy.

"And bunnies too!" Tohru added, laughing.

"Ja! Ja! Let's go!" Momiji exclaimed, snatching Tohru's hand and running to the zoo entrance gate.

Once the two of them were inside, Tohru stopped and waited for Hana to catch up. Momiji was hoping this would be his chance to lose Hana and be alone with Tohru all day... but Tohru stopped, waited, and wouldn't budge until Hana had caught up . Feeling defeated, Momiji waited with her.

Hana took her time catching up with them (which felt like forever for the energetic boy, even though it only took two minutes). Tohru smile at her, and she reciprocated with a small one. Momiji had a moment of feeling invisible, so he grabbed Tohru's hand again so that he could get her attention quickly.

"What do you want to see first, Tohru? Monkeys? Snakes? Rabbits?" he asked eagerly.

"I'd like to have lunch first," Hana spoke up, interrupting Momiji's excitement. Momiji frowned, to which Hana added, "If that's okay with both of you?"

"Of course Hana-chan!" Tohru exclaimed. "We'll go get food right away!"

Tohru's hand escaped from Momiji's as she replaced her hand in Hana's. Momiji was disheartened, but refused to let it get to him. So he hopped over to the two girls and took Tohru's other free hand in his, placing Tohru between the bunny and the flower. "Okay!" he declared with a big smile on his face. "We'll get food first and then look at the animals!" He skipped ahead with Tohru and Hana in tow.

The three of them spent a great deal of time in the zoo's food court, much to Momiji's boredom. Hana was content trying as many different plates of food available, and Tohru was just as happy to sit and chat with her two friends. After what felt like forever, Tohru noticed Momiji's fidgetiness, and suggested that they go see some animals. Elated, Momiji jumped up from his seat.

"Yay! Let's see the lions and tigers and bears!"

"Oh my," added Hana with a smile.

"Hai!" Tohru said cheerfully as she took both of her friends' hands.

The three of them scampered away to the nearest animal habitat, where Tohru and Momiji giggled and watched the animals graze on grass, or snooze in the sunshine. Before Momiji knew it, the sun was getting lower in the early autumn sky, casting purple shadows on the clouds overhead. He noticed Tohru hugging herself a little more as the temperature dropped. He frowned, knowing that the day had come to an end and they would have to part.

"I guess we should head home now, ne?" Hana suddenly said, as if reading Momiji's mind.

"Hai," Tohru agreed.

"Ne, ne," Momiji piped up, "first we should go to the souvenir shop! A trip to the zoo is never complete without first going to the souvenir shop."

"Un, okay Momiji-kun," Tohru replied warmly.

"Yay!" Momiji jumped up, took Tohru's hand yet again and ran to the shop not too far away, near the zoo exit.

Tohru was awestruck by all of the plush animals hanging from the ceiling, standing on shelves and lying in big wire containers. Tohru didn't know where to start. Something bright orange caught her eye, so she headed in that direction.

Momiji eyed the candy counter when Hana stepped into the store behind him.

"I know what you're trying to do."

He looked up into the amethyst eyes of the young woman. She was still a touch taller than him by a few centimetres, but he knew that he'd be shooting up soon like a tree. He brushed off her comment. "I don't know what you mean." he said, heading over to the sugar-sticks and attempting to look like he was interested in them.

"Her feelings aren't the same."

"They can always change," he answered, avoiding making eye-contact with Hana.

She looked upon him sadly as he fingered the plastic wrappings around the candy.

"Momiji-kun! Look!" Tohru called from the other side of the store. When she got both of her friends' attentions at the same time, she held up a big plush bunny the colour of sand. "Isn't it cute?" she laughed.

"Ja!" Momiji beamed back.

Neither one of them noticed the sadness in Hana's eyes as she watched the two friends interacting happily.

...

A few weeks passed by and every Sunday, Momiji tried to find something fun to do with Tohru. Hana always accompanied her, Yuki and Haru came one time, and another time Uo came. The weather fluctuated from warm one week and cool the next. A typhoon hit and there was a period of time when it rained non-stop for three days. Momiji, Uo and Hana watched Tohru more closely with each passing day, knowing that soon her belly would become visibly larger.

It was mid-November when Tohru asked Momiji if she could arrange an appointment with Hatori. "Just to check my health," she told him with a small brave smile.

She still had not told anyone that she was pregnant and Momiji was growing more impatient and uneasy with this thought. Why hadn't she told anyone else? Was she going to try the hide the entire pregnancy, or wait to tell people when she was starting to show?

Nevertheless, Momiji wanted to be supportive. "Un, of course."

Tohru's smile widened a little. "Arigatou gozaimasu."

"It's no problem Tohru," he reassured her. "If you need anything, I'm always here for you."

This time, she smiled really big, which made his heart flutter. "Thank you so much Momiji-kun! You're such a great friend!"

"Hee hee," Momiji blushed a little.

"Really, I mean it," she continued. "You're always there for me and watch over me. You're like a brother. Thank you for everything."

His heart sank as Tohru bowed her head in appreciation to him.

Hana was right.

He tried so hard to change her feelings, but it was useless. She would never feel the same way for him as he did for her. She still loved Kyo, and he knew it. He stood no chance of taking his place. He'll always be a friend to her, or like a brother at most. His heart ached. He wanted so much to be loved.

Tohru looked up when she heard a sniffle. She was surprised to see tears in Momiji's eyes. "Momi-"

Momiji pulled her into a hug and transformed in her arms. She held the weeping bunny against her chest, baffled by what could have caused Momiji to start crying. She blinked repeatedly. Before she could ask him anything, he spoke.

"I know... everything..." he whispered as he trembled. "About you and Kyo... the baby... and... I know where he is now... It's not fair..."

She stared at him, her eyes growing large as saucers as she took it all in.

_And, I... I love you too, Tohru!_

...

******AUTHOR'S NOTE:** _(Oct. 11, 2010) I'm back! Happy Thanksgiving to my readers in Canada! Sorry it took me a few months for this installment! But, I've got this story pretty much all mapped out now. Looks like it will have a total of 26 chapters, a prologue and an epilogue (unless I decide to add anything, in which case it might be longer). So that's another 11 instalments and then OWATTA! (finished)_

**THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEWING!**


	18. The Cage

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ** _(May 17, 2013) _ I know, I'm horrible at updating! But I swear I will not abandon this story no matter how long it takes me to finish it! But, we're back to Kyo! That should make you happy right? _Right?_

**Chapter 17**

**The Cage**

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

My beads were lying there in a heap on the floor.

_Kuso..._

I stood there, banging my head against the wall.

It was useless.

I could not transform and rip the place apart. I could not escape that way. I was so hopeful. But the same bones and the same spell that was cast on that damn bracelet I always wore must surround the Cage as well. It made sense though. There must have been others, cursed like me, who would have tried to escape as well. The place was maddening.

_Kuso..._

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

_When I get my hands around Akito's neck..._

I stopped banging my head and sighed. I had no one to blame but myself for my actions... but my destiny as the cat was mapped out before I was even born. I had no choice in that matter. My future had always been definite. There had never been room for change. Why should I be the exception? How was I any different from the other cats?

_My ancestors... what were their lives like as the cat? Were any of them Samurai? That would be cool!_

_Bah! Doesn't matter. They're all dead and now it's my turn. So let's see... the average Japanese man lives to be about 77 and I'm 17 now... shit! ...But we Juunishi don't live as long as the average person so... maybe I'll live to be 67... but still... that's 50 years I'm supposed to live here? FUCK!_

My head hurt.

I missed Tohru. Dammit, I missed her so much!

_Kazuma said his grandfather was the last cat... He wouldn't exist if his grandfather didn't have a wife... If he was allowed a wife, then why can't I have one too? I want Tohru!_

I sat down on the floor, feeling deflated.

_No… I don't want her… I _need_ her. Why won't Akito let her be with me?_

I looked at my beads on the floor next to me. Why did something so simple hold so much power? My wrist felt naked without them. I rubbed my bare wrist instinctively. In doing so, I studied the bandages around my other wrist. How long ago did I do that? It was probably only a few days ago, a week tops, but it felt like eons ago. Or maybe something that happened in another life.

_Baka. That _was_ another lifetime ago. That was the life you had… when you were free. This… this is your new life. Here… in this effing cage._

_Hmm… if I ever escape… I could report this to children's services, huh? Wait… how old do you have to be to still qualify as a "child"? I bet that's why they waited until I was finished high school before they put me in here… but if I ever get out of here, there's no way they'd be able to put me back!_

A grin spread across my face as I fingered the bandages around my wrist.

_Yeah… He'll be sorry that he ever put me in here…_

...

Hatori came to visit me everyday until my wounds had healed. I didn't put up a fight. I knew it was futile. Hatori was always careful to lock the door behind him when he came in and when he left. With each day, I felt more guilty for my actions. I really messed things up. That was probably part of the reason why I never put up a fight with Hatori... I gave into my fate. I felt I had to.

The last day Hatori came to visit me, I knew it would be his last. He didn't put fresh bandages on. I immediately grew depressed. As he stood up to go, I couldn't help but say, "So that's it, huh?"

His face had been expressionless up to that point, but he seemed somewhat curious. "Your wounds have healed nicely. You don't need me anymore."

"You know as well as I do that I'll go crazy here without anyone to visit me."

His face softened. "Perhaps that's best."

That made my blood boil. My eyes narrowed. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Your sanity will remain in tact without you communicating with Outsiders… and Junnishi alike. They may not know it now, but soon they will come to pity you and hate you for your actions. It is best to just forget the past and remember it as a fond memory," Hatori replied as he unlocked the door to let himself out.

"What the fuck? Why are you saying that? What the fuck does that even mean?" I spat, jumping up, clenching and unclenching my firsts.

"I told you. You don't want to know," Hatori said as he let himself out and quickly locked the door.

A growl escaped from my throat. I went to the window to watch him as he left.

"Don't worry," Hatori said over his shoulder. "Kazuma-sama will arrive tomorrow to visit you." He paused and looked at me calmly and sternly. "Until then, I suggest you don't do something stupid and don't over think things."

I could feel my blood beginning to boil within me as I watched him leave. What was he thinking? Why could he not tell me what was on his mind that made him look upon me with so much pity in his eyes?

_Argh! Why does everything suck so much!_

My temples began to throb. _ Dammit!_ I knew I had to calm myself down. _Why bother… there's no one to listen to me vent. No point in feeding the anger. Maybe that's what Hatori meant?_

I leaned against the window frame, closed my eyes and took a few big deep breaths. _Breathe in… and out._ I opened my eyes when I felt calmer a few minutes later.

_Maybe I should take up meditation? It would give me something to do and help me from going insane…_

...

The next morning dragged on. Hatori didn't say when Shishou would come, but the thought of having company was greatly anticipated. At the same time… I felt nervous. Would he be disappointed to see me in the Cage? Or would he understand and accept it because it was my fate? I didn't want him to see me like this… but I needed to see him… someone… anyone.

As the afternoon wore on and Shishou was still absent, I couldn't help but see Tohru behind my closed eyelids. I missed the touch of her skin against mine… her large eyes staring back at me with wanting… the taste of her soft lips…

_Dammit! I don't need a hard one now!_

Although, looking around at my quiet surroundings… who would catch me or stop me? Maybe a release would help to put me at ease…

...

_Come on, Shishou! Where are you?_

My stomach began to grumble as the sky darkened into a deep shade of reddish-orange. Even my dinner seemed to be late today.

Although I felt better after giving myself a hand… I still felt this deep sense of emptiness. I yearned to hold her against me. I wanted to feel her heart beat against my skin and smell her hair. How long has it been since I last got to hold her? It felt like ages ago, when in reality I knew that it must have been only a month or two ago.

Crickets began to chirp when I saw two figures approaching… hopefully with my dinner. Man, I was starved!

As the figures got closer, I could see that one was Shishou carrying a bag with—if my nose didn't betray me—food. The other was a servant jingling a ring of keys in her hand.

"About time you got here!" I called out to him.

He flashed that calm all-knowing smile he had. As he got closer, I could see the sadness in his eyes, but he looked away quickly. "How are you doing, Kyo?" he asked as he waited for the elderly woman to unlock the door to the Cage.

"Akito-sama has instructed me to return in an hour to let you out, Kazuma-dono," she said as she opened the door to let Kazuma in.

"Thank you," he said as he entered and she closed the door behind him. The metal lock groaned as she turned the key.

I wasn't sure how to respond. I missed him so much since the last time I saw him and all the chaos that happened over the last few weeks… the fights, the isolation, the degradation, the institutionalization, the mind-numbing emptiness that filled my every waking moment…

He chuckled lightly as all I could do was stare at him. "Let's eat," he said finally as he lowered himself to the floor.

I swallowed as I returned to my senses. My stomach growled in agreement at the prospect of eating.

"I brought your favourites," he said, opening the bag and pulling out containers of food and spreading them out on the floor.

For some reason, my heart fell at the sight of the containers. Take-out. I closed my eyes tightly. What I would give to eat _her_ food again…

"Kyo?"

My head snapped up to attention. Did I just get lost in another daydream or something?

"I asked how you've been doing over the last little while."

I really didn't want to talk about it. What was there to say anyway? I shrugged. "Could be worse, I guess," I mumbled.

Shishou put two bowls out before me. The smaller one contained steamed rice and the other he left empty for me to load up with as much food as I wanted. As he filled his small bowl with rice, I helped myself to some of the steamed veggies. I hoped they were still crisp… the way _she_ made them.

I sighed unconsciously. Shishou raised an eyebrow and I glanced away, feeling my cheeks grow hot. "Nothing."

"I highly doubt that," he said softly.

I picked at my food. Shishou was here with me now, for only an hour, so I better make the most of my time with him. After all, I didn't know when I would see him next, or when I would have another visitor for that matter. The servants who brought me my daily meals certainly didn't want to converse. "I miss… being at Shigure's house. Even with that damn nezumi there…"

Shishou nodded as he began to eat. Thankfully, he didn't ask for clarification. I really didn't want to talk about Tohru. I wasn't sure if I'd even be able to…

"I really messed up," I muttered.

I let out a disgusted sigh and put my chopsticks down, suddenly not feeling hungry. I had a sickening feeling in my gut. The memories of Tohru, the boarding school, the institution and finally here in the Cage… So much had happened in such a short period of time and now it felt like my life had come to an end. Now it was just a string of days followed by nights of nothingness. _I've lost everything._

…

The hour with Shishou passed quickly. Too quickly. He promised to come visit me again sometime soon. I felt guilty for wanting him to set time out of his busy schedule to come visit me. I was nothing but a burden to him now…

The days became shorter and shorter as they passed by and turned into weeks. The weather grew colder and the servants brought heavy blankets with them to help me keep warm. A glass barrier was installed to block out some of the cold air from coming in through my window.

I fell into a depressed state of mind and stared out the window as the leaves fell from the trees, leaving them bare and hallow-looking.

How could I survive the rest of my life here?

I didn't even want to think about it…

…

I was lying on the floor, staring up at the sky beyond my window. Through the bare treetops, it was clear and blue. I bet it was chilly outside though. It looked like it would be one of those days that looked nice from the inside, but was actually colder than you thought.

I was reminded of last winter, walking together in the snow as it gently fluttered down around us. Our misty white breaths filled the air as a couple of children ran by us, laughing jovially. She smiled as she watched them, while I gazed silently at her.

A soft rapping at the door announced the arrival of an unexpected visitor. I pulled myself up into a sitting position and looked around me in confusion. The servant just took my dirty lunch dishes away not too long ago… who could be at my door now?

"Kyo~~kun!"

My back hit the ground with a thump. _Seriously?_

"Kyo-kun! I came to visit you!" she exclaimed excitedly as a maid unlocked the door.

Kagura bounced in, beaming brightly at me.

And there was nowhere I could run.

_Crap!_

_Hmm… maybe she might be able to destroy this place? …And me in the process…_

"Kyo-kun! I missed you so much, Kyo-kun!" she declared, throwing herself on me and squeezing me tightly.

"Gyaah!" _Can't breathe!_ I pushed her off and started coughing. "What the fuck? Are you trying to squeeze me to death me or something?"

She pouted. "You're so mean! Aren't you at least a little bit happy to have me here? You must be lonely…"

When her voice started to trail off, she lowered her gaze. She was dressed in a brown cotton jacket with an orange scarf around her neck. I could feel my frustrations with her slipping away through my fingertips as I brushed my hair out of my face.

"Sorry," I muttered. "You're right. I have been very lonely lately."

_Just don't strangle me like that! Geez!_

She nodded at my apology and she turned her attention to the space of my Cage. She wrinkled her nose. "It's kind of small in here, isn't it?"

I nodded and sighed. "I can't even practice martial arts in here. There's just not enough space. I've been trying to do some meditation… Shishou even brought me some books the last time he visited me. I just get frustrated after a few minutes though and give up."

Sadness flashed across her eyes as she turned to look at me briefly. She quickly turned her back to me as if she refused to let me see her get upset. "Are you going to try and finish your education?" Her voice sounded far away as she touched the bars on my window gently with her fingertips.

I shrugged. Was there any point in finishing now? Here… here was where I was going to spend the rest of my life. What good would finishing high school and earning my diploma be then?

My silence was enough of an answer for her. Still focusing her attention on the window, she said softly, "I think you should finish… It would give you something to do to occupy your time here. Maybe you could even earn a university degree here?"

"Pfft," I snorted. "That's ridiculous! What's the point anyway?"

"The point would be to do something to keep you from going insane!" she shot back, glaring at me with tears in her eyes. "Read books, take up painting, play an instrument—anything to keep you from going crazy!"

I could feel a blush creep into my cheeks. I wasn't particularly fond of studying… I was always more hands-on, but I knew she was right. What would I do with myself for the next fifty or so years? I couldn't just sit around here and stare up at the sky and watch the world fly by.

I watched her stare out my window for a few minutes. Her silence, and the fact that she was chewing on her bottom lip, indicated that there was something more on her mind that she wanted to talk about, but was hesitant. I sighed and stepped up behind her and reached up to grab hold of one of the bars. I looked out over the land beyond the glass. I was several inches taller than her. When did that happen?

"What else is on your mind?" I asked, feeling exasperated. She came here to visit me and now she wasn't talking to me at all. Was she giving me the silent treatment because of my lack of interest in finishing school or something?

Her lips began to tremble and she looked down, guilt-ridden. "I… I don't know if I can continue to live this way. I… I love you Kyo-kun, but… but I know you don't feel the same way about me. I feel terrible for thinking about it, but… I have to live my own life too. How can I live a normal life if you are trapped inside here? It's selfish of me, but…"

I wrapped my free arm around her shoulders and pulled her against me as tears began to spill down her cheeks. She blushed as she buried her face in my shirt and let her sobs rake over her body.

She didn't need to say anything else. And I didn't want her to keep making sacrifices just for the sake of me. Why should she if I could never return the same feelings for her? Why should she make me a priority in her life if I could hardly step a foot out of the Cage and really _live_ with her?

"It's okay," was all I could manage to say. Although I'd be lying if I said I didn't shed a single tear before she left…

Goodbyes are always the hardest.

…

"Kyo!"

My ears pricked up. The voice was familiar, hushed, yet urgent. I couldn't see who was out in the darkness beyond my window. But it was evident that someone was there and that it wasn't my imagination. "Who's there?" I tried to keep my voice low, but still loud enough to be heard from outside as I made my way to the window and peered out. It had been days since the last time I had a visitor, but late in the night? Why would someone come to visit me when all of the lights on the Sohma Estate had gone out for the night?

"It's me! Momiji!" he said, and I could see his dark form at my door. "I'm busting you outta here!"

My eyes widened. "What? Are you crazy?" I demanded in a whisper as I went to the door and pressed my ear against it. "What if you get caught?"

There was silence except for a faint clink of metal scraping against metal. His silence scratched at the suspicion receptors in my brain. Momiji had never risked himself to get me out of trouble… what was his angle? What was his purpose? "Why are you doing this? You know you'll get in shit if Akito finds out."

"I don't care about him," Momiji shot back. "And I don't care about you either…" He trailed off with a sigh as he fumbled with the lock. "But… I care about Tohru. _She needs you._ And nothing I do will change that fact."

My mouth hung open as he said that. Images of her fearful and hate-filled eyes flashed before me and I shook my head in despair. "You're wrong. She doesn't need me. She wants nothing to do with me. I'm nothing to her now. Just like I should be nothing to you, but the burden and despised of the Juunishi."

"Baka!" Momiji hissed. "She does too need you! More than you think!"

My eyes narrowed as I tried to analyze the expression in his voice since I could not see him on the other side of the door. "What do you mean?"

Was it my imagination, or could I hear Momiji struggling to swallow a lump in his throat? "I can't tell you. But she needs you to be with her. And if you won't…" His voice dropped lower and had a throaty timbre to it. "Then I'll never forgive you."

The lock clicked and Momiji opened the door.

I was free.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ** Yay! Happy ending to the chapter! There's hope for Kyo and Tohru after all! And there's still roughly ten chapters or so left of the story… so still lots more to come!

Now go read my other fic "**ShugoTenshi**" (Garudian Angel) and give Shigure's daughter, Akiten, some love! Hehe! Chapter 6 is up and Akiten meets Ritsu and Yuki at Akito's funeral, but can she keep herself together or become overwhelmed by the pain and darkness that they all carry within their hearts?

**THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEWING!**


	19. The Plan

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ** _(May 26, 2013) _ See! See! I can update again soon! 1 week is good, ne? Err… 9 days? Haha! I got a new job so been kind of stressed and hectic here… Enjoy!

**Chapter 18**

**The Plan**

I should have asked Momiji where Tohru was staying. I'm such an idiot!

_Shit. What was I thinking? I'm really not that bright._ I sighed and parked myself on a bench a block from Shigure's house. I pulled my jacket tighter in an effort to lock more body heat in. The temperature sure has dropped over the last few days…

I snuck over there when Momiji set me free, but she wasn't there. I was too exhausted to go any further at that point, so I grabbed a few blankets from the hallway closet and slept under her bed. The frilly bed skirt completely concealed me (not that anyone looked into her room anyway). I don't know how long I slept there, but it must have been around noon when I woke up.

I crept out from under the bed and peered out from the door to the hallway. There was no one in sight. I walked passed Yuki's room, and saw it empty. Must be a school day. Thank god! I knew that the floorboards were creakiest in the middle of the hallway, so I carefully scaled along the wall as I made my way to the staircase. I just needed to get out without Shigure noticing.

The stairs were the same as the hallway. So I crept step-by-step down them along the wall. The bottom step would be the hardest. It creaked no matter what. Gingerly, I stepped down in hopes that by slowly applying my weight on it that it wouldn't make a sound.

_Creeeeeak._

The sound was soft and hallow. I looked around nervously, expecting to hear Shigure say something or make a sudden movement somewhere in the house… but everything was quiet. _Too quiet._ Curiosity got the best of me.

Carefully, I crept around the main level towards Shigure's room. His door was open, revealing darkness within. No sound escaped—not a rustle of paper or a snore. I peeked inside to find it completely empty. Where could he possibly be?

Seeing as the house looked completely deserted, I made my way to the fridge and helped myself to a glass of milk and some instant ramen noodles from the cupboard. While I waited for the kettle to boil, I hurried upstairs to my room to grab some of my stuff that was left behind. Luckily for me, my winter clothes hadn't left the house yet, although they were packed in boxes. I found a backpack in the box, so I crammed a pair of jeans and some shirts in it. Was my secret stash of cash still lying around here? I checked the loose floorboard under my bed and found my hidden supply of yen. It wasn't much, but it would do. I would need to find a job… but not after I found Tohru and left this place behind us…

The kettle began to whistle from the kitchen, so I grabbed my backpack and my jacket that I dug out from one of the boxes, folded the boxes back up, and hurried downstairs.

I made my ramen, quickly ate, and decided to book it out of there before Shigure came back home. On my way out the door, I noticed a piece of paper taped in the entranceway. It seemed to be a note to Yuki scribbled in Shigure's scratchy handwriting.

[_Yuki-kun,_  
_Kyo has disappeared from the Estate. A bunch of us are out looking for him. If I'm not back home by dinnertime, please order some food from Oishii Soba._  
_Thanks,_  
_Shigure_  
_PS – How was our little flower doing today at school? How I miss the sunshine she brought into our little bachelor pad and the smell of lemon and lavender on the furniture…_]

Even in his notes, he had to make perverted remarks about her!

I was tempted to ripped the paper up… but decided it was better not to. Didn't want to leave a paper trail behind me, now did I?

I had to leave… for good… and leave no trail of my past behind me. I knew that if Akito caught me again, there would be no escape a second time…

Even now, as I sat on the bench near Shigure's house, I felt the urge to get up and move. They were on the lookout for me. There was no way that I'd go back now. Not even if my life depended on it.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and started to walk. I didn't know where to go, but I knew that I had to stick with the backstreets and alleyways to avoid being spotted.

But where could I go? Where could I find Tohru? If I went near the school, someone would catch me for sure, no matter how hard I tried to remain hidden.

I sighed. A puff of white air appeared before me. Damn winter… It was creeping up too fast!

Where did her relatives live? Would she be living with them now? That would seem like the most logical place. Damn it… if only I could remember where they lived!

I found myself within a few blocks from my old high school. Somehow, my feet propelled me there. I knew it was because she would be there. I wanted so badly to see her again.

_But would she accept me now? After everything she had seen me do?_

I shook my head. Momiji had said that she needed me… more than I thought. I had to believe those words. He wouldn't have said them if they weren't true.

Nevertheless, school was still in session, and it was possible that the older Juunishi members would be keeping an eye on this place. I couldn't stay here. I had to keep moving.

I turned away. I didn't know where I would go next, but I let my feet take me there.

…

I spent the afternoon wandering around the subway, bus station, shopping centre, and back alleyways. I felt like it wasn't safe to stay in one place for long, and the more crowded it was, the better.

I just didn't know where to go. I didn't want to leave the city until I had found Tohru. If she needed me, how could I possibly leave her behind?

But would she leave with me? That would be asking a lot from her… and she still needed to finish high school. That, I knew, was very important to her.

In my thoughtful state, I found myself walking in a neighbourhood that looked somewhat familiar.

Then I saw her.

She came out of a house and looked directly at me. Her eyes were large and her dark hair blew wildly around her with a sudden gust of wind. She glided across the street to me on the other side. She looked alarmed when she grasped my right arm and pulled me briskly forward.

"Ha-Hanajima?" I sputtered as she continued to pull me forward.

"I know why you're here," Hana said softly, but there was no denying the urgency in her voice. I let her pull me along down the street and down a narrow alley.

She let go of me there and turned to face me. "You've come for Tohru-kun, ne?" she asked. I nodded, but she just shook her head. "She is not well today, and soon your family doctor, Hatori-san, will be here to check on her."

It was like a punch in the stomach. "Wha? She's not well? What's wrong with her?"

The firmness in her eyes softened as she studied me carefully. "You… don't know?" She looked away suddenly then.

"Don't know what? What's wrong with her?" She was making me nervous.

"It's not my place to tell you," she replied sadly. Why did she look over my shoulder so wistfully?

I sighed. "Look, can I at least see her? Talk to her?"

Hana hesitated. She looked torn, like she was struggling to decide what the best thing to do was. "I don't think Tohru-kun can handle seeing you today. I'm sorry Kyo-kun."

I gritted my teeth and looked away from her. "What the fuck is wrong with her? You're all hiding something from me… like you're trying to protect her from me or something. But… you don't understand…" _How I feel… How every time you mention her not being well tears me apart…_

"My, your waves are turbulent…" she sighed, looking downcast. She observed me thoughtfully as I clenched my fists and tried to regain my composure. "Can I ask you one thing?" she poised after a moment of careful scrutiny.

I nodded my head, still trying to relax the sudden build-up of tension within me.

"No one will talk about it around Tohru-kun… but where have you been after all this time?"

She caught me off guard and I didn't know how to respond. I didn't know how much she knew or if she was capable of catching lies or not. I figured that I should tell her the truth… and leave some of the _unnecessary_ details out. I looked away from her as I spoke with my hair shielding my eyes. "We… Tohru and I… went to the head of my family to ask for permission to be together. He… He denied us the ability to date. As a result, I was sent to an all-boys' boarding school to prevent us from seeing each other. Tohru was removed from Shigure's house… but I don't know where she is now. Somehow I found myself here, across the street from your house... Is she living with you now, or what?"

She had closed her eyes while I relayed my story and she breathed in and out deeply once when I had finished before opening her eyes. "Yes, Tohru-kun has been living with my family and I for the last few weeks or so," she murmured. She bit her lower lip briefly, her eyes glancing towards me quickly and then away. "She was staying with her relatives… but not anymore."

Was there a hint of bitterness in her voice at the mention of Tohru's relatives? I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at her last remark.

She just shook her head, refusing to say more on the matter. "Nevertheless, Kyo-kun, she is in no shape to receive any visitors today, besides, Hatori-san. But…"

She paused and I waited for her to continue. She looked forlorn as she debated with herself, the wind blowing her hair gently around her.

"But what?" I stammered impatiently after a few seconds of silence. "Out with it, will ya!"

She smiled gently at me. "But I have an idea. Meet me tomorrow…" and she began to relay a plan to me, detailing a particular place and a particular time tomorrow, Saturday. "Tohru-kun will be there," Hana reassured me. "She likes it there."

It seemed so trivial… "Why?" I asked.

Her smile grew a tiny bit bigger. "She'll tell you. Trust me." She turned and began to head back home.

I stood there, stunned for a moment. "Oh… OI!" I shouted after her. "You're just going to leave me hanging here?"

She glanced over her shoulder and smiled back at me. "Un. Hatori-san will be here soon. You best be going now if you don't want him to catch you, Kyo-kun."

My ears pricked up and I turned and high-tailed it out of there.

There was a plan at least… And although it meant that I couldn't see Tohru now, or any time at all today, there was still tomorrow.

_Tomorrow… Tomorrow will be the day that I ask her to runaway with me…_

.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ** Buahaha! "You're just going to leave me hanging here?" Yes. Yes I am. *_evil grin_*

Now go read my other fic "**ShugoTenshi**" (Garudian Angel) and give Akiten some much-needed love! A new Prologue and Chapter 7 are up! The funeral services are underway… but not after Shigure learns about the _secret gift_ that his daughter possesses.

**THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEWING!**


	20. Now Everything Has Changed

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ** _(June 2, 2013) _I caught a bit of a cold earlier this week, so that's why I didn't update sooner (I want to update this story as quick as I can!). That and I got an idea for a new one-shot (something hysterical is coming this way!) But _finally_… the chapter we have all be waiting YEARS for is here! (So sorry! T.T) **Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the lyrics to "With Arms Wide Open"

**Chapter 19**

**Now Everything Has Changed**

Why did I feel so nervous? Was it because I hadn't seen her in so long? Was it because I wondered how she would respond upon seeing me since our last brief and humiliating encounter at the boarding school?

After my conversation with Hanajima yesterday, I went to a nearby market and bought a couple of bento boxes to eat for dinner later. I didn't know where to go after that. It was starting to get dark outside as night was quickly approaching and I knew that I had to find someplace to go for the night. Shishou's was too far away and the chances of Akito looking for me there would be just as high as them looking for me at Shigure's. A fleeting memory of the abandoned house that Tohru and I found on our way back from meeting with Akito those few months ago popped into my head. It was the only solution for now.

I had managed to find the house again in the dark and decided to make that my home for the time being. There was no heat, no electricity and no running water. But shelter was shelter after all. I had gathered up the few old, moth-eaten sheets I could find in the house and made a nest for me in the hallway with all the doors closed to block out the cold air that seeped through the old windows.

.

_I collapsed on the bed next to her, breathing heavily. My body shuddered once more as it slowly came down from its high. I wiped the hair from my face and stared up at the dark ceiling above. The storm was passing and the rumbling grew fainter. All that remained now was the soft pitter-patter of the rain on the window next to us and the panting of our breaths between the thundering of our hearts._

_I felt her turn onto her side next to me and snuggle in close against me. Her arm reached across my bare chest and held me tightly to her._

_Well, we weren't cold anymore now._

_I kicked the sheet at our feet up and pulled it over us. Her head rested on my chest and I kissed the top of her head tenderly. I didn't want this moment to ever end._

_It was the best feeling in the world—to have her holding me so close, so tight, after giving each other our entire beings. It was more than love-making—it was the act of becoming one in body, mind and spirit. It transcended the physical realm of our bodies and joined our hearts in a way that could only be described as spiritual._

_She was more than just 'Tohru' to me now. She was my everything—my reason for being. I had to take care of her, protect her, and give her the life she deserves to live in our future—_together_._

.

The memory lulled me to sleep, full of hope and a desire to keep my promise to her.

And now as I waited for her at the meeting place Hana told me to go, the memories from that abandoned house filled my mind again in my quiet solitude.

Although it was chilly out, the sun was shining brightly in the late afternoon sky. In a few hours, it would be dark with the shortening of the days. I didn't know what the date was, but I guessed it was sometime in November. The leaves had fallen off the deciduous trees but the snow had not yet begun to fall. But it felt like it could be soon. For all I knew, it could have been December already!

_Why did Hanajima want me to meet Tohru at an elementary school?_

I sat down on one of the two swings on the swing-set as my gaze drifted over the quiet school in front of me. The rest of the playground was a few meters away, consisting of a jungle gym, monkey bars, a pair of slides, and platforms to climb on. It seemed like an odd place to meet up… Did Tohru go to school here or something?

The wind suddenly began to blow and with it came the faint fluttering of giggles. I turned my face into the wind and could see them approaching in the distance—Tohru and Hana.

Tohru didn't seem to notice me yet as she was talking excitedly to Hana about something, but I couldn't make out what it was. She wore a pale pink cotton jacket that stopped around her mid-thighs and buttoned up in the front. A magenta scarf was wrapped around her slender neck and accentuated the shades of brown in her hair in the golden sunlight. As they drew closer, she turned her attention from Hana to the path before her—and stopped dead in her tracks when her eyes met mine.

My breath caught in my throat. Would she run away like she had at the boarding school?

I looked down at my feet in the sand. _Kuso… this was a bad idea…_

I screwed up. There was no denying that fact. What made me think she would accept me again? I had no redeeming qualities—I was short-tempered, stubborn and impatient. She had accepted a part of me that I had no control over, but my actions… I had complete control over my actions. I cannot be held accountable for the curse, but I had to be held accountable for my actions. And my actions disgusted even me!

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. _Believe,_ I told myself as I took a deep breath. _Believe that she can forgive you this time too…_

I forced myself to look up at her again. She hadn't moved an inch and Hana was watching Tohru closely (but they were too far away for me to even attempt to distinguish the expression on Hana's face). Tohru looked clearly shocked with her eyes large as saucers and her mouth open in a little 'o' shape.

The longer she hesitated and stared at me, the greater my tension grew. My stomach began to clench into knots. I was beginning to expect her to runaway from me at any moment now.

Then, a sigh on the wind… "Kyo-kun…" The flutter of her voice was so soft that only my sensitive cat ears could pick it up. It was a sound of disbelief.

My heart jumped in my throat and I swallowed forcefully to push it back down.

"Go to him," Hana encouraged gently.

It was as if she needed permission from Hana to give her the force to move. And move she did. She flew forward in a sprint toward me.

I found myself getting to my feet, my heart racing with hers as she ran to me.

"Kyo-kun!"

It was the sweetest sound to reach my ears in weeks.

She didn't even pause when she reached me—she just threw her arms around me and I could see the tears collecting in her eyes. "Kyo-kun!" she exclaimed again in a muffled voice as she buried her face into my chest.

I wrapped my arms around her and closed my eyes in an attempt to hinder the pinprick of tears, but one lone teardrop managed to escape each eye. She smelt so good and sweet, and her body felt so warm and tender against mine. I could feel her heart racing against my chest. This had been the moment that I had waited months for… the chance to hold her in my arms again. I would never tire of her arms around me, and I could never push her away again. My heart began to swell with emotion. I looked up momentarily and saw a sad smile on Hana's face before she nodded courtly, turned, and began to walk away.

_Thank you…_

"Tohru…" I murmured, swallowing the newly formed lump in my throat. I didn't know what she thought of me or what I should say. All I could think about was her terrified face the last time I aw her at the boarding school… Did that image haunt her as much as her reaction haunted me? As sweet as this moment was now, I knew that I had to clear up any misunderstandings she might have about that day. "I'm sorry," was all I could muster.

"For what?" she asked, looking up at me then. "It's a miracle! And now you're here… and…" she started to cry with a smile on her face. "I'm so happy!"

"I'm sorry about… what happened at the boarding school. The guys there were constantly trying to pick fights with me, and I was always the one to get in trouble because… well… I finished the fights," I told her, and gave her another squeeze. I had to hold her tighter for I feared she might push me away unexpectedly. And I couldn't handle that right now. Not now. "I didn't think you'd ever see that, and I'm really sorry."

"Oh, is that why you're apologizing?" Tohru asked, pulling away from me slightly and looking at my face.

I nodded my head and hung it in embarrassment. Why did it bother me so much?

She studied my expression and saw how much it was bothering me. Little did I know that it was the last thing on her mind. "Oh, well, it's in the past now, Kyo-kun. And I over-reacted," she said. She hesitated, like she wanted to say something, but was unsure of how. "I thought you were apologizing about something else… but I guess you wouldn't know anything about it so I don't know why I thought…"

She stopped and blinked for a moment. "I need to sit down…"

Confused, I watched her walk over to the swing and sat down. What was wrong? What was she talking about? "Tohru What is it? Are you okay?" I suddenly remembered what Hana had told me yesterday and I became concerned. "I went to see you yesterday, but Hana said it wasn't a good idea. What's wrong? Why did Hatori come visit you?"

"Kyo," she said softly, looking at her feet timidly. Why was she nervous all of a sudden? "Come sit beside me."

I all but jumped into the swing next to her, never taking my amber eyes off of her. She didn't look ill… but looks can always be deceiving… How was I one to know if there was something going on inside of her? What if she had cancer? _Dear God, don't tell me you has cancer!_

I waited for her to tell me what was bothering her. I wanted to know what was on her mind. I watched as she bit her bottom lip, waiting as patiently as I could. Would she just hurry up and spit it out already!?

"There's something that you should know. And I don't know how to tell you this but…"

Would she stop chewing her bottom lip already!? Gah, she was making me want to bite it too! That lip was too much of a distraction—for both of us!

"What is it?" It came out a little gruff, but if she would just get it all out and stop torturing me…

She flinched slightly. "I'm… I'm pregnant."

Wait… what? "Huh?" I stared at her, dumbfounded. Did she… did she just say what I thought she said? "You're… You're pregnant?"

"Un," she nodded, wringing her hands in her lap. "The baby is yours, Kyo-kun. I… I found out… gosh, it must have been over a month ago!"

I reached over and grasped her shoulder, forcing her to look at me now. My mouth was hanging open and I tried with difficultly to move it and speak. "S-Seriously? You're… You're pregnant?"

_Well I just heard the news today  
__Seems my life is going to change  
__I close my eyes, begin to pray  
__Then tears of joy stream down my face_

"Un." Her eyes searched mine and I could see my reflection in her brown orbs. I could feel my tears trickle down as her own eyes began to flood with emotion. I fell to my knees on the sand and pulled her down to me.

_With arms wide open  
__Under the sunlight  
__Welcome to this place  
__I'll show you everything  
__With arms wide open  
__With arms wide open_

_['She does too need you! More than you think!'] …Momiji… You knew?_

I willed the tears to stop falling. This wasn't what I expected at all, but now it all made sense. And in a way, I felt guilty…. How could I do this to her? But she had assured me that there was no need to apologize. I didn't know what to do, or what to say. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, but… _a child?_

"Tohru…" I mumbled finally after a moment. I smoothed her hand and kissed her head gently. "I don't know what kind of a father I'll be… but I know, with you by my side… I know I can do it."

_Well I don't know if I'm ready  
__To be the man I have to be  
__I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side  
__We stand in awe, we've created life_

She sniffled as I held her tightly. I knew she would understand me better than anyone else. My own father was anything but a prime example and Tohru barely remembered anything about her own father.

I gingerly pulled away and looked at her stomach. I couldn't see anything through her jacket, but she seemed to know what was going through my mind. She unbuttoned her jacket and gently placed my hand on her—still small—but growing stomach. She looked up and watched me as my eyes softened.

I was going to be a father.

_With arms wide open  
__Under the sunlight  
__Welcome to this place  
__I'll show you everything  
__With arms wide open  
__Now everything has changed  
__I'll show you love  
__I'll show you everything  
__With arms wide open  
__With arms wide open  
__I'll show you everything… oh yeah  
__With arms wide open… wide open_

I couldn't speak. The realization that we were having a baby soon overwhelmed me beyond words. I just stared at her stomach as my hand held it tenderly. I couldn't feel anything, but I could tell that there was definitely something growing within her.

"Hatori said I'm about 14 weeks pregnant," she said quietly. "That means in about 26 weeks, we'll be having a baby. That is… if you don't…"

She looked away, and I could see pain flash in her eyes.

"If I don't… what?" I asked, feeling my hands grow clammy and my heart skip a beat.

"If you don't leave…"

My eyes widened and I pulled her tightly to me. She clung to me as if clinging desperately to life.

"If you can put up with me… then I'll never leave," I murmured into her ear. The thought of leaving her again—especially now that I knew we were having a baby—it torn me apart.

"Kyo-kun…"

_If I had just one wish  
__Only one demand  
__I hope he's not like me  
__I hope he understands  
__That he can take this life  
__And hold it by the hand  
__And he can greet the world  
__With arms wide open..._

"I don't ever want to be separated from you again," I grumbled, clenching my eyes tightly shut. "I couldn't stand it before and I even tried to kill myself…"

She gasped. "Kyo-kun…" She touched my cheek, but I could not bring myself to look at her.

"I thought I would never see you again, and I couldn't stand it."

I bit down on my bottom lip to keep it from trembling. "I can't go back there," I told her. "If Akito catches me again, there'll be no chance of escaping a second time. And I can't risk that now. Not now… not now with a baby on the way…"

My future was in my hands now. And it was a delicate, fragile thing that I had to nurture and protect from harm. I had to protect it with my life.

"I don't want the baby to grow up like us… with only one parent around. I want us to be a family. I want us to live long and happy lives together because… dammit…"

I trailed off, unable to finish my thought. I couldn't… and she understood and brushed the tears from my cheeks with her fingers, ignoring her own that were falling down.

I didn't want the baby to live a life of fear… loneliness… like the one I had lived. I wanted the baby to have a life so much better than that. I wanted the baby to love its life… like Tohru. I prayed that the baby would inherit all the good qualities that she had, and just forget about my bad qualities. I don't know what Tohru saw in me, but whatever it was, the baby could have those qualities too.

_Just don't be cursed like me…_

_With arms wide open  
__Under the sunlight  
__Welcome to this place  
__I'll show you everything  
__With arms wide open  
__Now everything has changed  
__I'll show you love  
__I'll show you everything  
__With arms wide open  
__With arms wide open_

And it was here, on the swings at an elementary school, when my life changed and I knew that I could never go back to the reckless life I had before. And I had to get Tohru and our child to safety—away from Akito and the Sohma family. For if we remained, I knew that Akito would come between us and tear us apart. I had to protect my family. I had to because…

_I'm going to be a father!_

_._

* * *

.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ** YAY! Finally together at last! LOL (and so much more to come! Another 8-9 chapters or so more). Please note that I PM (private message) every review I get now (from signed FF account holders), and the first one to review a new chapter posted will get a short preview of the next chapter before it's posted (unfortunately I cannot PM unsigned notes—Gomen ne!). Who doesn't like being the first to glimpse something before others can? :D

Now go read my other fic "**ShugoTenshi**" (Guardian Angel) and give Akiten some much-needed love! Chapter 8 will be up as soon as I can! What happens when you put Shigure, Ayame, Ritsu and our young mysterious god-figure in the same car for a two-hour drive to Fuji-san? Shigure and Ayame have to occupy their minds somehow! Poor poor child… LOL.

**THANKS FOR READING! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	21. A Step Forward

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ** _(July 1, 2013)_ Happy Canada Day to my Canadian readers and Happy (early) Independence Day to my American Readers. Also, Happy (belated) Father's Day Kyo-kun! LOL. Sorry this chapter is _so_ much later than anticipated. Gomen ne! Kyo has a little bit of a foul mouth in this chapter… Anyone got some soap? Hehehe!

**Chapter 20**

**A Step Forward**

We had to leave. There was no other option if we were to be together, and I wasn't about to abandon Tohru and our child. I refused to turn into my own father…

After I found out that Tohru was pregnant, I told her what happened to me and she cried. She looked at the scars on my wrist from where I slashed myself and she clutched my arm close to her chest. She agreed that we needed to leave, but at the same time, I became concerned about her own wellbeing. She told me that she had a lot of trouble with morning sickness and whenever the baby moved inside her the last couple of days, the fluttering sensation made her nervous and she had to sit down for fear that she might throw up again. That's what happened earlier when she suddenly sat down on the swing. She was having a hard time concentrating in school and had missed a lot of classes. As much as she wanted to finish high school and get her diploma, she was scared that she would fail now because she couldn't keep up.

"So, I'm going to have to drop out of high school now," she mumbled, pushing sand around with the toe of her shoe under the swing. "I know I promised Okaa-san that I would graduate high school… but how can I keep my promise now?" She held her stomach tenderly with her slender hand. "This is more important to me now. And I have to put the baby first before everything else. I know Okaa-san will agree."

I felt so guilty. I knew how important it was to her to finish high school and now I was taking that away from her because I got her pregnant. _ I am such an idiot!_

I felt the need to change the subject, so I decided to ask the question that had been on my mind since Hana and I formed this plan yesterday. "So why did Hana pick this place for me to meet you?" I asked curiously, turning my attention from her to the schoolyard in front of us. Was this a private school or something?

"Oh, that is, um, Hana-chan and I started coming here after I found out I was pregnant. I…"

I turned to look at her as a blush crept onto her cheeks.

"I… I want the baby to attend this school someday. That's all. It's just my daydreaming that brings me here."

"Oh…" was all I could say. Such an intelligent response. However, now I didn't know if this new dream of hers was possible… It was too close to Akito… "I don't know if… if we can stay here…"

She nodded quickly without hesitation. "Un, you're right."

I gazed at her guiltily. "I'm sorry…" I said again, but this time I was apologizing for messing our lives up and making things more difficult than they should be. _If only I had been born normal…_

She smiled and a small laugh escaped from her lips. "It's okay Kyo-kun! Don't apologize!"

Seeing her return to her old self made my heart flutter. I could feel my cheeks growing hot despite the chill of the wind.

My stomach growled loudly. She noticed and blinked for a moment before bursting into fits of giggles. "Come on Kyo-kun! Let's go to Hana-chan's and I'll start making dinner. What would you like to eat?" she asked, standing up from the swing. Her usual bright and cheerful face was back and I felt a surge of relief.

I stood up and joined her side. She reached for my hand, blushing furiously, and intertwined her fingers with mine. With Kagura, I would have pulled away… but Tohru…

…

Hanajima's parents were surprised to see me there, hand-in-hand with their daughter's closest friend. They had heard about me though. I could hear them murmuring, "His hair really is orange like a carrot! I never would have…"

_Yeah, yeah yeah… Tell me something I don't already know._

Tohru set to work on making dinner shortly after we arrived. Hana's mother and grandmother joined her and I could hear hem chatting away softly while the knives were chopping away on wooden boards and the sizzle of oil frying on the stove, intermediately interrupted by the occasional _ting_ of metal pots banging against each other. A giggle from the lips I craved most fluttered to my ears from behind the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room.

I was well aware that Hana and her younger brother were staring at me silently. I just ignored them and instead focused my attention to the noises coming from the kitchen. Hana was quick to interrupt my thoughts, on the other hand.

"You're going to take her away, aren't you?" she murmured softly, not wanting to raise her voice should Tohru overhear. I nodded without a word. "Where will you go?"

Sighing, I brushed my hair out of my face and looked away. I didn't like the way Hana's eyes scrutinized me. "Yeah. I got us into this mess, and now I have a family to take care of. I'm not sure where to go exactly. I'll have to talk to Shishou about it. He might have some ideas…" _but I can't stay with him… Akito would surely find us there._

"How far are you willing to go?" Hana asked.

I shrugged. It didn't really matter. It just had to be far enough that Akito couldn't find us.

"We have relatives in Hanamaki, but maybe that's farther than you wanted to go…" Hana said, trailing off, then adding slowly, "It would be a lot farther than Arisa and I would like you to go…"

"Then why bring it up?" I grumbled.

"Because I trust my relatives… and you're both still very young and starting out is hard for anyone, nevermind the fact that Tohru's pregnant and won't be able to contribute to an income for a little while."

_Shit._ I didn't think about that. "Argh!" I hung my head in my hands, my elbows propped up on my knees. What the fuck was I thinking? That everything would be rainbows and butterflies? No, Tohru and Momiji think that way… I had to be the strong and realistic one. But why did the reality have to be so hard?

"Maybe I should give you the phone so you can contact your _Shishou_?" Hana suggested, getting up as I nodded.

Yeah, I needed to start acting. I couldn't afford to sit back anymore…

_I could lose it all again._

She came back after a moment and handed me a cordless phone before plunking herself back down next to her brother. They watched me expectantly.

_Geez, can I get a little bit of privacy? Guess not…_

I dialled the number of Shishou's cell phone that I knew off by heart. With all the travelling he was doing these days, he finally went out and bought himself a cell phone.

It rang a few times before he finally answered. _"Moshi moshi, Sohma Kazuma desu."_

I hesitated. I always did hate talking on the phone… "Oh, hey, Shishou… it's me."

"_Kyo?" _There was a pause._ "Where are you? Shigure and Hatori have called me recently…"_

"I'm… out."

"_I know that. But where?_ _Do you know how furious Akito-san is?"_

"Like I give a shit," I snapped back, catching Hana's eye as she raised an unenthused brow.

"_You can't come here, Kyo. As much as I would like to have you here… but Akito-san has sent Kureno here to keep an eye out for you. He just arrived this morning and will probably stay here for a few weeks if you don't show up."_

I brushed my hair out of my eyes. I didn't know what to do. I had to admit it, even though I hate admitting when I've messed up, but I really had no idea what to do, or where to go. This time, I needed advice.

"Look… I messed up really bad this time," I mumbled into the receiver slowly. "I don't know what to do, but I can't abandon Tohru. I… she's pregnant."

There was a long pause on the other end and I could just picture Shishou putting his phone down for a moment as he pinched the bridge of his nose as he took in the fact that I _really_ messed up. Big time.

It took me a moment to realize that he had hung up on me. Oh shit… that was a first! As I debated calling him again (maybe he just lost connection?), the phone began to ring in my hand.

I quickly answered. "Hello?"

"_Sorry, Kureno came into the room. I'm alone now."_

"Oh." _Thank Kami he wasn't pissed off that he hung up on me!_ His tone didn't wound upset or angry, but there was a note of worry.

"_Don't tell me where you are now, just tell me that you're safe. Is Tohru with you? Is she okay?"_

I nodded and quickly replied into the phone (because, duh, he can't see me nod… idiot), "Yeah, I'm fine and with Tohru now. She's been staying at a friend's house recently."

"_You can't stay there. Akito will find you."_

"Yeah, way ahead of you man," I grunted. "But… do you know where I could go? Tohru's friend said she has family up north that we could possibly stay with… do you have any ideas? I can't leave her… So we need to settle down somewhere with people that we can trust to help us get on our feet."

Kazuma sighed into the phone. _"I'm sorry. I'm worried that any of my connections will be under Akito's surveillance. Maybe you should try that family up north since they have no connection to the Sohma family."_

I nodded. "Yeah… sounds like it would be the best idea for now."

"_Call me again when you're safe, okay?"_

"Un," I replied.

"_Take care now, Kyo."_

"Ja ne." I hung up the phone and stared at it in my hands. "So… your relatives in Hanamaki…"

_Geez, we're such a burden on everyone now…_

_I feel like shit…_

Hana nodded and reached for the phone in my hands. I watched as she dialled a number before I put my head back in my hands. I listened as she spoke in a different dialect to her relatives, explaining our situation and requesting that Tohru and I stay with them until we could get settled on our own up north. I could almost hear the hesitation in their faint voices across the room, but Hana's facial expressions relaxing a little reassured me that things might just work out. A few minutes later, she hung up and I was almost afraid to ask what the verdict was. I felt so ashamed of myself.

"It's settled," she said.

I exhaled loudly.

"There's a train that leaves early tomorrow morning that goes up north. I'll have to look on the Internet for the schedule and when roughly you would arrive so I can let my relatives know when to pick you two up. Other than that…"

I nodded. Hanamaki… I had heard of it, but wasn't sure where exactly it was located. It was pretty far if my memory served me right. Maybe a 5-hour train ride north?

_A step forward… a fresh start…_

Exactly what we needed.

…

Dinner was… amazing. I had forgotten how fabulous Tohru's cooking was.

As we all ate, squished around the table, Hana relayed our plans to Tohru and her parents. Tohru looked excited, albeit nervous for being such a burden and intrusion, but at the same time she was eternally grateful for everyone's kindness and support. It was more than either of our families offered…

Tohru would have to fill out the paperwork required to drop out of high school (I wonder who took care of my own?) before we left, but Hana said that was easy enough to do. We had to get Tohru's things packed tonight and be ready to go first thing in the morning.

After dinner, Tohru packed some food for our trip while Hana and her mother washed the dishes. I left my stuff at the abandoned house, so I had to go back. Hana had no room for me to sleep at her house anyway. I didn't want to be any more trouble than I already was, and I didn't want to leave Tohru, but I promised to be back before the sun rose tomorrow morning.

The sun had already set by the time I headed out at eight in the evening. It would take me about 30-45 minutes to walk to the abandoned house anyway. Hana's mother insisted on me wearing her black shawl.

"Wear it over your head and keep your head down… no one will suspect it's you under there," Hana grinned at me. Well, at least I thought that slight curve of her lips was a grin… "You'll look like an old lady if you hunch forward."

"Except he's too tall to be a little old lady," her brother—whatever his name was—said. Smart-ass kid…

I couldn't say no to a disguise though… and something else to keep me warm for the night. Those old moth-eaten bed sheets weren't enough! Sometimes I wished I could just transform into a cat at will… a fur coat would surely be a lot nicer to have right about now!

Normally, I would have walked briskly to my temporary home, but I thought I should take advantage of the disguise, lest a Sohma come across me on the streets, so I took my time ambling along. It took me twice as long to get there, but the shawl was surprisingly warm, so I didn't mind as much.

Did I seriously just walk home disguised as a little (er, tall?) old lady? DON'T THINK ABOUT IT!

I collapsed onto the old sheets when I arrived at my hideout and wrapped the shawl tightly around my shoulders for the much-needed warmth that it offered in my cold and dusty environment. But I couldn't sleep. My mind was racing at 200 kilometres an hour. Tomorrow morning, I'd be moving to Hanamaki with only enough cash in my pocket to pay for our _shinkansen_ (bullet train) tickets. Then I'd be broke. The cat has no funds once placed in the cage. Why should he? He can't go anywhere… Even if I tried to get access to my bank account, the banks would alert Akito of the action. They're probably watching my account as well.

The thought of being penniless was very worrisome. I had never had to worry about money in the past, and now I had to support Tohru and the baby and I had no money at all. I had no job skills either, aside from martial arts, and even then, I knew that I wasn't skilled enough to run my own dojo.

This was such a disaster.

It wasn't long before I could hear the birds beginning their morning chorus before the sun rose. Their song was my cue to get up.

I grabbed my backpack and slung it over my shoulder. I didn't even bother to try and comb my fingers through my hair. I just grabbed the shawl and left.

The streets were nearly empty as I made my way to Hanajima's house. What time was it? I pulled the shawl tightly around me as I glanced around the corner of a building. The street lamps were still on, but there was a distinct glow in the eastern horizon. Maybe I was too early, but better early than late.

Sure enough, when I reached Hana's house, the lights were still off inside. I tucked myself into a ball in the corner of their front property among the bushes and waited.

A half hour must have passed before a light came on inside. The street itself was still really quiet, which I was thankful for. About an hour or so later, I saw other homes' lights turning on and the odd car here and there passing by, before Hana, Tohru and Hana's mother emerged with three medium-sized duffle bags of Tohru's belongings. Hana spotted me in the corner of the property among the bushes before I stood up, my knees creaking from the strain of squatting into a standing position.

Tohru looked a little nervous—maybe the trip was more frightening now that it was time to go than it had been the day before? Not that I blamed her. Even I was nervous at the thought of leaving with only a backpack full of a few articles of clothing. She was carrying another life and was still having trouble with morning sickness.

Oh crap. Was she feeling nauseous right now?

Hana's father stepped out from the house behind them as they made their way to the car and put Tohru's bags in the truck. I came up behind them as they put the last bag in and shrugged my bag off my shoulders. "You okay?" I asked Tohru as I lifted my backpack into the trunk.

"Un," she said, flashing me a reassuring smile. "Mornings are always a little rough these days, but I'll be okay."

I nodded and told her to take it easy. Hana was quiet as she observed us closely.

"Let's go guys," her father declared as he got into the driver's seat. Hana's mother got in next to him, leaving the three of us to occupy the backseats. Tohru sat in the middle.

The drive was quiet, except for Hana's mother filling us in (perhaps me more than anyone else) about her sister in Hanamaki, the town itself, and what to expect on the trip up. The trip wasn't going to be as long as I anticipated… Maybe four hours tops. Nevertheless, it was far away from here and should make it impossible for Akito to find us.

Soon we were buying our tickets and boarding the train.

Hana insisted on buying our tickets despite me telling her that it wasn't necessary. Tohru cried as she hugged Hana goodbye, telling her to give Uotani a hug from her as well. Hana just smiled sadly and nodded her head.

I slung two of Tohru's duffle bags over my shoulders in addition to my backpack so that she only had to carry one bag. I didn't want her to strain herself. I waited impatiently as the two girls squeeze each other again. "Come on Tohru," I called after her. _We can't miss this train. Not now._

"Hai!" she exclaimed as she pulled herself away from Hana's embrace and hurried after me.

I found two seats and put our baggage away overhead while Tohru made herself comfortable and stared out the window (most likely looking for Hana). I flopped down on the seat next to her just minutes before the train pulled out of the station. I felt exhausted, deflated even. It was like we were putting the past behind us. All the awful and horrendous things were being left behind and now we were moving forward someplace new and starting fresh.

My eyelids began to droop as the gentle rocking of the train lifted all the stress from my shoulders and left them on the platform of the station.

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ** The ever-feisty Kyo is turning protective-provider! YAY! LOL

Now go read my other fic "**ShugoTenshi**" (Guardian Angel)! It's delicious like an onion because it has lots of layers! Hahaha!

**THANKS FOR READING! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	22. New Beginnings

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ** _(July 7, 2013) _ Since the setting for Fruits Basket is never specified (that I can find), I decided to set it in the big metropolis of Tokyo. But _where_ in Tokyo, is left open for interpretation. Enjoy!

**Chapter 21**

**New Beginnings**

Just when I was about to fall asleep, Tohru nudged me awake gently. "Kyo-kun, we have to change trains now," she whispered lightly into my ear. At any other time, had she whispered like that into my ear, it would have made me shiver with delight.

Instead, I groaned, and pulled myself up. I just wanted to sleep. That ride didn't feel very long. Just where were we anyway? Tohru had our tickets since I was carrying three-quarters of our luggage, so I had no idea when or where we would have to change trains.

"Are you sure we have to get off now? I was just getting comfortable," I complained groggily. My mind was all fuzzy now.

"Ah, gomen ne Kyo-kun. I should have told you that we would have to change trains soon," she murmured sympathetically. "We're at the Tokyo Station now. The next train will be the Yamabiko train to Morioka for the Tohoku Shinkansen line."

"Then how much farther will it be?" I grumbled.

"Another three hours."

Heaving three of the bags over my shoulders, we left the train and searched for the next platform to take us to the shinkansen.

After stumbling around in circles for ten minutes (the station was huge! …And my mental faculties were greatly impaired), we finally found it. The next train wasn't due to arrive for another ten minutes. A nearby clock read that it was only 8:30 in the morning. So we should be in Hanamaki before noon. Then what?

My stomach growled menacingly, catching Tohru's attention as we sat on a bench. She laughed, "Are you hungry Kyo-kun? I packed some food for the trip." She reached for one of the duffle bags and unzipped it, revealing a large lunch bag packed next to some of her other items. She pulled out a container of food from last night's dinner and handed it to me.

I accepted it and although it was cold, it tasted just as good as it did last night.

"How much food did you pack?" I asked as I ate gratefully.

"Oh plenty for the trip, I think."

More people began to gather on the platform as it got closer to the time for the bullet train to arrive. I watched the clock and quickly ate the contents of the container before I handed it back to Tohru to put back into the duffle bag. I burped as the train pulled in and shouldered the three bags again. We climbed onto the shinkansen and found two seats by a window. It was much nicer than the previous train and definitely more comfortable.

With food in my belly now, I felt sleepy again. The warm cosiness of the train was a pleasant change from the cold abandoned house and the isolated cage. Best of all, Tohru was here with me. Wish I could cosy-up with her…

She too looked a little sleepy. Did she not sleep well last night either? "You can lean against me if you're sleepy," I mumbled, feeling my cheeks grow warm.

Her eyes grew large as she turned her focus onto me. "Eh? It's okay. I need to stay awake anyway," she replied in embarrassment as her own cheeks took on a soft rosy glow. "Besides, every time I close my eyes, the motion of the train makes me feel dizzy."

"Oh… right… the morning sickness…" Genius.

I wished I could take that feeling away so she could rest a little. She looked as though she needed it. "Relax then. If you want some food, just ask me and I'll get it for you," I told her.

She nodded and turned her gaze to the window as the city zipped by before we disappeared under a tunnel.

The ride carried on in the same manner. Moments of chatter, moments of gazing out the window, and moments of uneasy silence as our destination drew closer and closer. I had felt relieved at first to leave everything behind us, but now I was growing more anxious again as we approached our unknown future ahead. Would I be able to support us as a family in Hanamaki? That thought weighed heavily on my heart, much more than I believed possible. The unknown was a dark monster gripping my soul and tying it into various knots. I needed to be strong, supportive, and protective of us. I didn't know how…

Maybe Tohru's silence was filled with much of the same worried thoughts. What will happen to us in Hanamaki? Will she be able to care for a child? As much as she put on a brave and excited face, I knew that at some level she was deeply concerned.

Eventually, she drifted off to sleep, if only for half an hour, before she was awakened when we slowed to a stop at another station and some rambunctious passengers got on in front of us.

"_Now departing Koriyama. Next stop is Fukushima."_

"We're almost halfway there now, Kyo-kun," she told me as she yawned. Geez, time sure was flying by (much like we were).

The terrain was getting more wild and mountainous as we travelled farther north. Before long, we were passing snow-capped mountains and mixed forests with barren deciduous trees and lush green pines. Winters will be harsher in Hanamaki, and we were arriving just in time to experience it.

"I'm going to try and get another housekeeping job in Hanamaki," Tohru said suddenly when we entered another tunnel under a mountain. "I'll keep at it until the baby gets too big for me to keep up with the job. That time will be coming up faster than we'll know it." She sighed, playing with the hem of her shirt below her stomach. "Hana-chan said that there are lots of onsens there, so maybe I can get lucky and work in one of those. Wouldn't that be nice?"

I nodded, but I couldn't stop staring at her stomach as she spoke. It will get bigger soon, but how soon? I didn't understand this baby-stuff at all. "You said you were around 14-weeks along, right? When do you think you'll be too big to work?"

She blinked uncertainly. "I'm not sure. I'll work as long as I think I can handle it. Maybe I will be lucky and find nice employers who will cut my hours back as I get closer to my due date so that I can still make some money."

I hated the thought of her pushing herself right up until the point she has to give birth. I wanted her to have strength for that, not be tired and worn out from working too much. "I'd rather you stop working all together when things become too difficult for you," I murmured softly, looking away from her face skyly. "Let me be responsible for earning money, okay?"

A blush crept into her cheeks and she smiled bashfully before nodding her head in agreement.

_Good, I don't want to argue about this in the future_. The mere thought of her hurting herself or the baby gripped my heart so hard. I couldn't let something like that happen to her. It would be my fault if it did.

"Anou… Kyo-kun?"

"Hm?" I looked at her. She looked hesitant and it made me nervous.

"I'm hungry."

Oh.

_Oh right. Idiot. Get her some food!_

I got up and pulled down the duffle bag from the overhead compartment. I hunted through it and the lunch bag for a container of food for her to eat. I found one and handed it to her.

"So what do you think about living in the mountains?" I asked her.

"Eh?"

I shrugged as I sat back down with the duffle bag at my feet, ready to pack up the empty container when she was finished. "Hanamaki's a smaller city surrounded by mountains, right? Do you think you'll like living in a more remote setting?"

She pursed her lips as she considered it, poking the food pensively with her chopsticks. "I don't know, Kyo-kun. I've never lived anywhere else before. It sounds exciting, but… I am worried too. I can't help it." She closed her eyes as she leaned back in her seat. She did look apprehensive. Nervous. Concerned.

I nudged her with my elbow. She blinked momentarily before looking at me with confusion. "Eat," I instructed calmly. "We'll worry about what happens when we get there."

_I'm a fine one to talk._

When we reached Ichinoseki, my stomach was tied in so many knots, I had to do deep breathing exercises to try and calm my nerves down. _Stop over-thinking so much!_

"_Now departing Kitakami. Next stop is Shin-Hanamaki."_

_Kami… we're almost there now._

Even Tohru was starting to look pale. _ Do something to distract her!_

"Kitty?"

She turned to me with her big brown eyes. "Eh?"

I tried my best to give her an innocent kitty-looking face, like that ginger cat in the movie with the big green monster, what's it called…

She laughed, bringing the colour back in her cheeks.

Mission accomplished.

The shinkansen pulled into the station a few minutes later. We grabbed our baggage and climbed off. The station was much smaller than the one in Tokyo. Would Hana's relatives meet us on the platform, or inside the station or out front?

"Any idea who we're looking for?" I asked Tohru as I glanced around at the dozens of faces present. A few dozen was better than thousands, that was for sure.

"Hey, there they are! Carrot-top!"

I sweatdropped as Tohru and I turned our heads in the direction of the loud voice. Carrot-top? That could only be me in a sea of black and dark brown hair.

A dark haired man and woman in their early or mid-forties stepped toward us. Hana's aunt certainly resembled her sister with her long black hair that she had tightly braided down her back. Were they twins or something? The man had dark eyes and deep crinkles in their corners.

"Boy, Saki-chan wasn't kidding when she said you had orange hair!" The man laughed boisterously. He slapped me on the back before ruffling my hair. "You must have bleached it first in order to get this colour, ne?"

Holy crap… _They were nothing like Hanajima's family!_ Were they really related?

"Hajimemashite!" Tohru declared, bowing before them in her usual manner. "Honda Tohru desu! Ah, and this is Sohma Kyo-kun, my, ah…"

"Boyfriend," I added. It sounded weird, even to me. _Boyfriend… more like 'father of our unborn child'. Geez…_

"Kyo, you dog! She's so cute!"

*Sweatdrop*_ No. No. Let's not even go there…_ I pushed the image of Shigure, slapping my back and ruffling my hair like this man had just done, out of my mind.

"Saki-chan has told us so much about you two!" Hana's aunt piped up, almost as enthusiastically as her husband. Almost. "We were a little nervous at first, but Saki-chan said that you two were like family to her, and that means you're like family to us. So welcome!"

"Hai! Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!" Tohru beamed back before bowing once more before them again.

They introduced themselves as Matsumoto Hotaru and Sachiko and, likewise, asked Tohru and I to go easy on them. "Yoroshiku!"

"Need a hand there, Kyo-kun?" Hotaru asked, extending his hand to me to take one of the three bags I carried.

I jutted my head in Tohru's direction. "I'm fine, but you can take her bag."

He glanced at Tohru as she chatted excitedly with Sachiko. "Oh I see… No problem." He winked before turning his attention to Tohru and taking her bag from her.

We followed them out of the station to their car. I looked around. There was not a skyscraper in sight. No buildings higher than three floors. I could even see the tips of the mountains in the distance. It really had a small town feeling.

I noticed a few people staring at my hair.

_Damn… I look even more like an outsider here!_ I sighed as we climbed into the car. It looked at least ten years old, collecting rust along the bottom and was a little dusty around the wheels.

We drove a few minutes away from the station into town and pulled up to a two-story house that appeared to have a little shop on the main level and a green house peeking out from behind. There was room to park three cars in front of the house while we pulled into the long narrow driveway next to it.

"Wow, you own your own business?" Tohru exclaimed as we got out of the car.

Sachiko laughed. "Almost everyone owns their own business here. It's the only way to survive in a town like Hanamaki."

"What do you sell?" Tohru asked as we made our way to the trunk of the car to pull out the baggage.

"Well, we run an apothecary in the front of the house and we live in the back and upper level of the house. We grow our own herbs and some vegetables for ourselves in our greenhouse out back," Sachiko said.

_Great, we'll be living with a pair of hippies. _ I didn't know which was worse… living with hippies or a freaky paranormal family.

_As if I'm one to talk about normal. Pfft._

"Uwaa sugoi!" Tohru gushed, her eyes round as saucers. Of course _she_ would think it was amazing.

"We do quite well for ourselves. Hanamaki is filled with onsens and many of them purchase our quality herbs, lotions, potions, tinctures, and soaps for their guests' enjoyment. Lavender is always our best-seller, not matter what season it is."

"Sachi-chan is also a midwife," Hotaru added as he purposely grabbed two bags from the trunk before I could even get my hands in there.

I shot him a dirty look. _I can handle this._

Hotaru ignored me

"Ehh? Honto ni?" Tohru exclaimed in disbelief. She turned to me. "Kyo-kun, do you know what this means?"

"Of course I do!" I shot back. Actually, I didn't hear what Hotaru said as I was too busy watching him purposely grab two of our bags, dammit!

"Uwaa that means we don't have to worry at all about the baby! I'm so relieved! I can't believe Hana-chan never told me that you're a midwife!"

Tohru's gushing continued while I grabbed my backpack and the other duffle bag, and slammed the trunk closed. I followed them into the side door of the house, silently fuming.

We entered the kitchen, which had a little breakfast table at the other end of the space. On my right was the staircase to go upstairs, and one tucked behind it to go downstairs. A sliding door was wedged between the door to the basement staircase and the pantry. Hotaru slid the door open a bit and poked his head into the shop on the other side. "We're back."

"Yeah, I saw you guys pull in," came the response from within. The timbre in his voice indicated that it belonged to a teenage male.

_Great, just what we needed—more testosterone. As if I didn't get enough of _that_ back home…_

"Downstairs is the storage room for our shop and where we make all of our products," Sachiko told them, continuing on with the tour of the house.

"That's where the magic happens," Hotaru said as he pulled his head back into the kitchen and closed the sliding door behind him. He winked at Tohru, who giggled.

Ugh.

We went upstairs where there were three bedrooms and a bathroom.

"You two can have this room. Taro and Sora will share the other room," Sachiko informed us as we all stepped inside and Hotaru put our bags down on the floor.

"It's not a big house by any means," Hotaru said, "but it's home and it's all we ever really needed."

Tohru was starting to get misty-eyed. Dammit… "It's a lovely home you have," she told them warmly.

"And you're both more than welcome to stay with us as long as you need until you can get on your feet," Sachiko smiled back.

"Arigatou gozaimasu," Tohru said, bowing deeply again.

"Kyo-kun, how about you and I leave the ladies here to get settled while you and I work out other details, ne?" Hotaru suggested as he placed a hand on my shoulder.

I couldn't help but scrutinize him. What was he getting at?

I dropped my bags and allowed him to steer me out of the room and back downstairs into the kitchen.

His back was facing me at first when he started to speak. His voice was low and laced with odium. "Now Kyo-kun, I'll have you know that I'm a pretty laid-back kind of guy, but there's one thing I won't stand for, and that's mistreating a woman."

Huh?

"Now I hear that you two have gotten yourselves into some trouble back home. What's done is done and you can't change the past. Here in Hanamaki, we are more old-fashioned in our way of thinking. Don't let others know that you knocked Tohru-chan up. We don't take too kindly to those types of boys," he murmured darkly.

The friction in his voice now compared to only moments before was like a punch in the stomach and I doubled over a little at his words. _Holy crap… Did he just lecture me? Or warn me? Damn!_ I bit back my tongue, and averted my eyes. Now was not the time to argue with the guy letting us stay with him and his family…

"Now," he continued a little more lightly as he turned to face me with a slight smile on his face, "as for a job…" He paused and sighed. "At this time of the year, finding permanent work will difficult. In the summer, there's always work in the farmlands around town, but now… Well son, now is tricky at best. Do you have a driver's license?"

"Huh? Eh, no…" I mumbled uncomfortably. I still was still trying to process everything he had said at first. Now he caught me off guard with the sudden change in topics about whether or not I had a license.

He sighed in disappointment and scratched his head. "Well, I guess that's the first thing we'll do tomorrow…"

"What about work?" I asked. "I need to make money to support us."

A tired smile crossed his face and made his eyes crinkle a little. "Well, Christmas is next month… Shopkeepers will be hiring seasonal help. Hopefully we won't be too late in applying."

_Christmas? Oh crap, I forgot Christmas was coming…_ I couldn't help but sigh. I was tired from the trip and the thought of the busy Christmas season didn't help.

"Great," I muttered, wearily. "I… I need some fresh air…" I moved to the side door that we had first entered. "I'm going to take a little walk."

Hotaru cocked his head to the side as I left. The cold crisp air slapped me in the face and I inhaled the fresh mountain air greedily. Yes, I needed this. I shoved my hands in my pockets, drew my hoodie over my head and ambled away down the street going nowhere in particular. I just needed to think…

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Kyo is behaving like his old self here. Yay!

**THANKS FOR READING! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	23. Romeo & Juliet

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ** _(July 14, 2013) _ Time is flying by! My life is really stressful right now, but I'm still trying to work on finishing this story. I'm still aiming to have the next chapter up by next weekend, so be sure to check back then!

**Chapter 22**

**Romeo & Juliet**

Things were kind of shaky at first. I got my learner's permit and Hotaru took me out on the country roads to practise my driving and parking in empty lots around the town. The stick shift took some getting used to, and I kept stalling the old Toyota, but eventually got the hang of it. Small town folk sure are patient. Bet if this happened in Tokyo, I'd get honked at repeatedly. He took me to dozens of shops around the town and made me fill out application after application, but I finally managed to obtain two part-time jobs as a stock-hand before the end of the week (which was a relief). But after Christmas, I'd be out of a job again since the positions were both seasonal…

Tohru managed to find a part-time job as a cashier at a toy store, and one of the nearby onsens was interested in having her work for them as well, but would let her know in a few more weeks if they would give her a position or not. That was something to pray for since her cashier position was also seasonal.

By the end of the week, I was feeling more hopeful, but my new jobs didn't start until the following Monday.

I still felt incredibly awkward around Hotaru since our private little talk. I still didn't know what to make of it. He seemed pretty cool for the most part, joking and chatting with Tohru and I, but I still felt on edge around him. For some reason, I felt like he had something against me, and I wasn't sure what it was. He couldn't dislike me because I got Tohru pregnant, could he? She's just as guilty as I am about that! It's not like I forced myself on her or something! Geez…

And their kids… Tohru adored Sora. Completely and totally adored her like she did Kisa. There were times when they were inseparable and then I could never get a moment with Tohru myself. Taro was totally different. He seemed like the black sheep in the family. Happy, silly parents and younger sister, and he was more stern and argumentative for a fifteen year old. Much like that little brat, Hiro. He was oddly protective of Tohru too and it was hard for me to not punch him in the face at times…

Otherwise, the time flew by blissfully. Some days I worked six hours, other days were doubled up at both of my jobs. Tohru faithfully packed meals for me and gave me a kiss on the cheek before I left (thankfully, the Matsumoto family turned their attentions away from us so we could share a little private moment together… gotta appreciate that).

Snow fell on our first Wednesday here and stuck around for a few days before it melted away, only to be replaced by more snow the next day. It stayed after that.

I couldn't get enough of the fresh mountain air. I loved it. On my breaks at work, I would take my lunch outside and eat despite the cold. I needed my alone time to think, and my co-workers loved to give me a hard time, but they wouldn't step outside if it was cold out. I didn't mind it that first week of work. I relished it, in fact. That soon passed when a foot of snow fell on the first day of December.

"Uwaaa, have you ever seen so much snow, Kyo-kun?" Tohru exclaimed gleefully that morning when we woke up to our surprise snow-day.

I couldn't help but grin at her, but shook my head. "Not all at once, that's for sure."

"It's so pretty!" She quickly pulled her new snow boots on (pink with little pompoms ties) and ran outside without even putting her coat on.

"Oi!" I called after her, shoving my feet in my own new boots and grabbing her jacket as I hurried out after her. "Put your coat on, you crazy woman!"

She laughed, and ran away from me. "Uwaaa it's so deep!" she declared in awe.

And it was. Sachiko was right when she advised us to buy knee-high boots. ("We're going to get a wicked snowstorm one of these days! I can feel it in my bones!"). Damn hippy lady wasn't so crazy after all!

"Oi! Get back here!" I shouted after her as she squealed and took off across the driveway while I brandished her coat at her.

She giggled gleefully as she looked over her shoulder at me chasing after her.

Then I watched helplessly as she lost her balance and fell over.

"Tohru!"

Panic engulfed me.

"Are you okay?" I asked when I reached her side.

_Oh kami, the baby… Oh kami…_

She looked up at me with her big brown eyes and started laughing. "I'm okay! The snow cushioned my fall."

"Gah—You have to be more careful, dammit!" I yelled as she continued to laugh at me. I helped her up and dusted the snow off her pants. _Hello there tushy…_

"Hey you two, no hanky-panky outside!" Hotaru yelled from the front door to the shop. (Was there a hint of humour in his voice?)

_God dammit!_ I thrust her coat at her before turning my back and jamming my hands in my pockets and stomping away. _They're all against me or something! Geez!_

"You kids ready to go?" Hotaru asked as he stepped out of the shop door and zipped his coat up.

"Hai!" Tohru called back as she snuggled into her coat. _Lucky coat…_

We headed to the car and worked together on brushing the foot of snow off. It was all very light, dusty snow. Tohru looked like she was enjoying herself, while I tried not to make eye contact with Hotaru. I still couldn't figure out if that guy had something against me, or what his problem was. I was no good at reading people like Tohru was. She seemed to like him though, so I guess he was a good enough guy…

"Kyo-kun, on your way home from work, could you pick up some ichigo?"

"Strawberries?" I asked in bewilderment. "But it's not strawberry season. They might be hard to find, and expensive…"

"I know… but I feel like ichigo…" she trailed off pathetically.

_Dammit. She has me wrapped around her little finger…_ I sighed. "All right, I'll see what I can find…"

Her face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Arigatou!"

_Yeah, yeah… send me off on a wild goose chase why don't ya? _I passed the grocery store on my way to and from work, while her job was at the other end of town. "Anything else you want me to get?"

She pursed her lips as she though for a moment. Damn those luscious lips! "Hmm… I don't think so."

We climbed into the car and were off (as best as we could with the side roads not ploughed out yet). We dropped Tohru off first since she was the closest before Hotaru dropped me off ten blocks or so in the other direction.

"You know I'm just teasing ya, right?" Hotaru said once Tohru was inside her workplace.

I didn't say anything, but gave him a curt nod instead.

"I can see that you care a lot about her and that you're trying your best in a difficult situation. That's all anyone can ask of you. It wouldn't hurt to add some humour into your lives now, ne? Your troubles are in the past and you can forget about them. Have fun with the present and enjoy it, ne?" He seemed genuine and he gave me a reassuring smile before he turned his gaze back to the road.

Maybe he wasn't so bad…

…

The days passed by and I didn't mind stocking shelves and unloading crates at my jobs. It gave me time to think and I didn't have to deal with customers (the best part). I didn't have the patience to deal with them. Plus up here, they spoke a different dialect of Japanese that was a little tricky to grasp sometimes. My co-workers knew that I was from Tokyo because they would tease me about my speech sounding so "proper". Me? "Proper"? Are you kidding? But Hotaru told me that growing up in Hanamaki, people used standard Japanese in school (Tokyo-ben) but outside of school, they spoke in the local dialect that sounded almost like a foreign language.

Hotaru and Sachiko spoke Tokyo-ben to Tohru and I, thankfully, and the local Hanamaki-ben dialect together and with their children and customers.

I imagine that Tohru would agree with me that we felt a little homesick. We were about 600 kilometres away from home and when we struggled to understand strangers talking to us, it made us miss it that much more.

Tohru was quick to make friends here though. She already had a handful of friends at her job. Word got out about our "plight" from our families in Tokyo. People started calling us "Romeo and Juliet" and they loved how romantic it sounded. It was only people over thirty that would give us dirty looks. I would just glare right back at them though while Tohru remained oblivious (she was always distracted by something).

As Christmas crept up, our jobs also picked up and we got more hours than we could keep up with (well, more than _**I**_ could keep up with). I was starting to burn out a week before Christmas, and I still hadn't gotten Tohru a present.

I collapsed on the sofa in the break room at my first job, thinking about it. One of my co-workers, Tatsuhiro, came in and collapsed next to me at the other end of the sofa. He was the closest thing to a friend that I had.

"Ziya, Romeo. Excited for Christmas to be here yet?" he asked in his funny dialect.

Rumours spread quickly in Hanamaki. Soon even my co-workers started calling Tohru and I "Romeo and Juliet" when it had first started at her workplace. You know how girls like to talk.

I had managed to pick up the new greeting, among other phrases that existed here that were not part of Tokyo-ben in the last few weeks. I sighed, "Ziya, Tatsu. I'm not ready for Christmas at all at my place. I've been too busy working, when am I supposed to do any Christmas shopping?" I swiped the hair that fell into my eyes and brushed it away. "I wouldn't even know what to get her for Christmas. Should I get gifts for everyone else too? Crap, I have no idea what to get anyone…"

Tatsu thought for a moment. "What does Juliet like?"

I sighed. "She'd probably want something for the baby…" I muttered, knowing how selfless she was, "but I want to get _her_ something, not something for the baby. That's what baby showers are for, right? I know Sachiko will have a shower for her in a few months."

Tatsu nodded. "That's true. Might as well spoil her while you still can because soon everything will be about the baby. It was like that when my older brother got married and started having kids."

I still couldn't believe that I was going to be a father soon. How far along was she now? 20 weeks? _Damn, we're at the halfway point…_

"Hmm… I would normally recommend taking her to my aunt and uncle's onsen, but I don't know about her being pregnant…" Tatsu contemplated aloud. The nineteen year old rubbed his peach-fuzz covered chin as he hummed and hawed.

"Argh! Girls are so hard!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in exasperation.

"Hey slackers! Get back to work!" Our manager came into the break room with his clipboard and walkie-talkie in hand. "Tatsu, you're in the south wing, and Yankee, you're in the north wing."

"Oi! Stop calling me Yankee!" I growled loudly as I pulled myself up from the sofa.

"I will when your hair returns to a normal colour."

"I told you already, _this is my natural hair colour!_" I yelled.

He laughed. I knew he was just yanking my chain, and he knew that I knew that. He did this to lighten his mood when he was stressed, and the days were getting more stressful with the approach of Christmas. I knew he was working 50 hours a week or more to ensure the business was running smoothly.

"Hey Oyabunkabu," Tatsu intercepted as we stepped out of the break room, "What should Romeo get Juliet for Christmas?"

Our manager scowled at being called "big-shot" but everyone called him that when they were joking. "Just take her to one of the onsens. Women always love to be pampered."

"Yeah, but she's pregnant," Tatsu reminded as we left the break room.

"Guys, it's okay, I'll think of something," I interjected. I didn't like being talked about, or talking about Tohru in that way. For some reason it sounded like gossip and men shouldn't gossip.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that… Is she showing yet?"

"_Guys!_" _Just shut up already!_

Oyabunkabu laughed, which was a dry coughing sound. "Cool your jets, boy. Just buy her some jewellery or something."

We split up, Tatsu went to the south end of the warehouse and I went to the north.

I just shook my head. I felt like jewellery wouldn't do for Tohru. She wasn't that kind of girl. She didn't wear glitzy things and she seemed to have no interest in them anyway. Sighing, I headed to my team lead at the end of the warehouse for instructions.

…

I asked Tohru later that evening when we were getting ready for bed what we should get our generous host family for Christmas.

"Oh, don't worry Kyo-kun, I already got them all gifts for Christmas," she said with a smile.

"Oh." _Of course. Why do I even bother to worry about things like that?_

I watched as she changed into her warm flannel pyjamas. Her stomach _was_ getting a bit bigger. She had the distinct little baby-bump protruding from her thin hips. I swallowed. Would her hips be wide enough to allow the baby to pass through safely?

I shook my head. I shouldn't think such thoughts.

But I worried about her well-being when that day came that she would have to give birth to our child.

_Our child…_

She had just finished putting her clothes on when she held her stomach tenderly in her hands. She looked up at me with her eyes large and shining as a smile spread across her lips. "Kyo-kun, come here."

"Huh?" I was standing just five feet away from her.

"Come here!" she said gleefully, reaching for my hand as I took a step toward her.

She pressed the palm of my hand lightly on her stomach when I stood next to her.

And I felt it. It was undeniable. The gentle poking of the baby's feet against the wall of her stomach as it kicked. I could feel my eyes growing wide as my mouth hung loosely from its hinges as I stared at my hand on her stomach.

"Can you feel him kicking?" she asked excitedly.

"Him?" The word escaped my lips as a rush of air. I was still mesmerized by the sensation under my palm.

"Un," she replied with a nod of her head. "Didn't I tell you? Right before we left Tokyo, Hana-chan said the baby is a boy."

I just stared at her in astonishment. I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. For some reason words escaped me and my mind became blank. I was lost in that moment of wonder and amazement as it fully dawned on me, with this simple sensation of him kicking my palm… that I was going to be a father soon. _I_, the detestable monster of the Juunishi, _was going to be a father_.

My eyes stung as I pulled her into my arms.

It was really happening. I was really going to be a father. There was a living, breathing, moving person inside of her that we created. _That our love created._

And as we crawled into bed together, holding her tightly to my chest with one hand draped over her stomach, I knew what I wanted to give her for Christmas. There was only one thing greater than having a baby with her, and that was to make it official.

I wanted to be her husband.

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **OMG! Yay! You guys are going to LOVE the next chapter! *_melts_*

**THANKS FOR READING! PLEASE REVIEW!**


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